BigHeartandNoSweetHeart Posted July 12, 2020 Share Posted July 12, 2020 A friend of mine (Rob) We had a misunderstanding and he quit talking to me before new years. I asked a friend we share What was wrong and he come back and told me. Rob would never come out and tell you this himself because its not him to talk things out, He said He's happily married to the love of his life and he cant be friend with you he tried but you want something else. and Sorry but you need to leave him alone and go away. Its kind of hard to do that because we do the same job and sometimes have to pass each other. For the most part when I did see him, I would look the other way or just not pay any attention to him even knows I was hurting. after three months I had enough of the silent treatment, I said hello to him and he was fast to say Hi back. We were away from our friends, and a few weeks later he started waving to me but only when said friend wasn't around. I saw him last week and he said Hi and asked me how I was doing and was smiling his biggest smile. and as soon as our friend came around the corner. I saw Robs face go from Excited to see me to stone cold as he passed me. and again later was happy to see me again. I DONT UNDERSTAND WHATS GOING ON. back Story Rob and I are both married to other people. We are good friends and get along great and work really well together. He plays in a band and this year I was hauging out more with him at the events. When our friends we shared and worked with wasn't at the events he would treat me different and we would flirt here and there but it was harmless and if anything he would give me a second hug. or he would let me rub his back. He stared letting me meet his friends and talking to me way more. He even told me himself He was upset with his wife because she didn't support him. and he knew my husband and I had been having problems way before I even knew him. Then one night in December I went to a show with two of my friends and I went up to see him. He was joking around and having a go time , he got quite and said he would talk to me later.. I saw him look over at me a few times and he didn't sat much when I left. I thought maybe he was being quite because he was down about his dad. a few days later he blocked me on his shared fb account with his wife, then didn't speak to me at the new years eve party. He looked upset and avoided me. My husband hates him because he doesn't like that me and rob got along so well. and for some reason Robs messenger Acct. was on my husbands phone. and my husband made the comment he didn't do anything, when I told him Rob had blocked me. I thought that was odd. the other excuse our friend said to me was Rob didn't want a jelous husband showing up to the events. But rob has known about my husband and his problem for over 6mounths. I found this odd as well. and I was talking to our friend in March and my friend told me. I don't think Rob wanted you to go away but he didn't want to take a chance on your husband showing up. and I also found out later that our friends have been teasing Rob about me. All I want is for us to be friends again and with this virus going around Robs band hasn't started playing again and between his wife and my husband. I havnt tried to call him. Link to post Share on other sites
La.Primavera Posted July 12, 2020 Share Posted July 12, 2020 Did you not get enough responses to this issue last time? You're both married to other people. My advice is to quit obsessing over him and leave him alone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BigHeartandNoSweetHeart Posted July 12, 2020 Author Share Posted July 12, 2020 that's not me. Almost sounds a litte like me Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 12, 2020 Share Posted July 12, 2020 Your friend understands that the best way to preserve his marriage is to cool things with you & put a lot of distance in your friendship. He's too much of a wimp to say it to your face but was savvy enough to make sure you got the message. If you want out of your marriage get out. But don't think that you can jump into Rob's arms. Stop watching his band perform. Be gracious & professional at work but limit all conversation to necessary ones about business only. As much as you want the friendship back, Rob wants to preserve his marriage which means ditching the friendship. Link to post Share on other sites
JTSW Posted July 13, 2020 Share Posted July 13, 2020 On 7/12/2020 at 6:24 AM, BigHeartandNoSweetHeart said: that's not me. Almost sounds a litte like me Its you, under a different username. Its too identical to not be you. You are obsessed with this guy. He doesn't want you and you're just going to have to accept that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted July 13, 2020 Share Posted July 13, 2020 How many times are you going to post this? There are no "mixed signals" here at all. At one point a long time ago you guys may have briefly gotten too flirty, but he clearly thought better of it and backed off, and is now focused on protecting his marriage. He is at the point of using mutual friends to tell you to back off, and introducing you to as many people as possible so they know to look out for you. These are the behaviors of a man who is determined to stay on the straight and narrow. He is only comfortable when you aren't actively trying to get his attention. Either tend to your own marriage or get a divorce, but Rob is not interested in you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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