Boss at work behaving weird

[KazzaH]

Hello
My boss at work is single and male and he has been behaving oddly around this girl since she left our team 2 years ago. She is married.

He has been making inappropriate comments about her, checking her out, staring at her, watching her, following her, asking us to give him her name and send him pictures of her and check her social media pages, asked her for her number. I’ve seen him trying to get her alone, pressing himself against her and touching her lower back - both the last two things happened when they were working together.

Should this guy be reported, he is very well respected in the company and he has been imposing his own rules for us to follow, not company specific so I am wondering if he may be abusing his position?

I already have a black mark against my record which he knows about and I’m guessing he could use that against me if I say nothing against him to his boss or HR?

Thank you.

Edited July 12, 2020 by KazzaH

[lana-banana]

Yes, he needs to be reported. All of this in the aggregate is totally inappropriate in a work environment, and HR would certainly be interested in his imposing his own rules depending on what they are. You should be able to report his behavior anonymously and even if you can't, HR won't tell him that you were the one to report. Why would he suspect it's you? If his behavior is really this egregious and he's asking colleagues to send pictures of her, stalk her social media, etc then I'm sure some of your other coworkers are worried as well.

Be aware that unless they find a clear-cut abuse of authority or harassment, the outcome will most likely be HR telling him to back off and avoid her. If this guy is remotely reasonable or serious about his career, he'll stop it. But if he's determined to be a petty tyrant he may take it out on his department. You might also want to ask about HR about moving to a different team or supervisor.

[alphamale]

i agree with l-b

[LuckyM]

How does the girl feel about it? That's the real issue. Is she angry or annoyed or flattered even. The girl must make this choicebut not involve you. might m

 

. I strongly think you need to talk to this girl nicely in a neutral way. Then let her decide what to do.It is her choice only. Has she spoken to him about it? She could tell him that her husband knows and is shocked. Remind him of the business moral rules and also 6 feet social distancing rule in effect. Last resort she writes a letter to HR. That changes everything. Still her decision. 

Could she be encouraging him? Doing nothing encourages him too

Edited July 12, 2020 by LuckyM
Clear

[KazzaH]

The girl is confused and doesn’t know why he’s doing this. She is nice to everyone and she says he is always nice to her.

She hasn’t spoken to this guy since before the lockdown. She has been speaking to me about it.

when he took her off for a chat and touched her she was at the time upset and she thinks that her thoughts were on why he took her off rather than how close he was being with her.

 

 Thank you

Edited July 13, 2020 by KazzaH

[lana-banana]

Anyone touching anyone else at work in a way that makes them uncomfortable is 100% reportable. It doesn't necessarily mean getting someone fired, but it's a huge boundary violation---especially when it's a superior doing it. If she's upset enough to be confiding in others, and other coworkers are aware of the behavior, there's no reason not to report it. I highly doubt she's the only person he's ever pursued in an inappropriate way. This is a matter of protecting her and future coworkers, as well as creating a safe work environment for everyone.

Edited July 13, 2020 by lana-banana

[Noproblem]

of course he needs to be reported and exposed!

Don't be afraid to do the right thing!

This guy is bad news and he has no place to be your boss, he belongs to the street!

[Pumaza]

He clearly dont want to keephis job if he is this disgusting.

Report him to HR. And tell them if you want that you want to be annonymous.

Why isnt the girl reporting him?

He tryna rape her no matter what. Disgusting.😳😷😷😷

 

 

[Noproblem]

On 7/12/2020 at 4:30 PM, LuckyM said:

How does the girl feel about it? That's the real issue. Is she angry or annoyed or flattered even. The girl must make this choicebut not involve you. might m

 

. I strongly think you need to talk to this girl nicely in a neutral way. Then let her decide what to do.It is her choice only. Has she spoken to him about it? She could tell him that her husband knows and is shocked. Remind him of the business moral rules and also 6 feet social distancing rule in effect. Last resort she writes a letter to HR. That changes everything. Still her decision. 

Could she be encouraging him? Doing nothing encourages him too

 

 

No, doing nothing does not encourage anyone to harass others, it's not like girls don't deal with this kind of bs everyday

 

I go out everyday, wearing simple clothes and stuff, not even revealing clothes like most new yorkers here, I just wear my gym clothes and walk, minding my own bussiness. 

and everyday there are cat calling or stupid disgusting stares or praises that I didn't ask for.

 

I do nothing, I move forward, doing something will make a scene  and there might be ugly confrontation or even violence. In the case of this woman, it might cost her job and unnecessary gossip or maybe she doesn't want her husband to be involved and get in trouble.

This is it, this is 2020, we still can't walk, or work without being harassed ..

 

Some girls like the attention, some girls use the attention to get up in the ladder, and some girls hate it, and some girls do something about it but after so many wars, they can get remotely their rights of not being harassed! Some girls try to speak up and nobody believe them or worse, they lose their job!

 

So, many girls take the easy way out and either leave the job or stay and hope for the best!

 

 

Edited July 25, 2020 by Noproblem

[LuckyM]

I hear you but I think you misunderstood me. I agree. Even if you do nothing you are bothered. Harass means so many things so I prefer a less harsh word.  Like hassle. So hard to give advice without knowing the actual situation. 

[Wiseman2]

Why would he ask you about all this? Are you her? 

On 7/12/2020 at 6:05 AM, KazzaH said:

asking us to give him her name and send him pictures of her and check her social media pages, asked her for her number.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

HR is not the appropriate venue here, if an individual is touching you in this way, you compile everything you have on him, go to the police, hopefully get a restraining order and at that point, they will HAVE TO remove him, HR or not.

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Just now, CAPSLOCK BANDIT said:

HR is not the appropriate venue here, if an individual is touching you in this way, you compile everything you have on him, go to the police, hopefully get a restraining order and at that point, they will HAVE TO remove him, HR or not.

This will also establish him as a creep and will make any other potential victim's claims against him more credible, where as, you go to HR, none of this is recorded except internally. 

[Datergirl]

Definitely report him to HR. She has saud she doesn't like it. It's sexual harassment plain and simple. 

By reporting it, it let's him and others know that they can't get away with this type of behaviour. 

I kind of think things have got worse, not better, since the 'me too' movement. Some guys still see it as a joke. 

[Pastypop]

If you plan on reporting this guy, you had better plan to find a new job. I was fired from 2 long term jobs in retaliation for filing sexual harassment charges.  One fired me for poor performance 6 months after the fact. The other one was more covert about it.  Seven months after I filed, I was approached and offered a promotion, ten months later I was fired for poor performance.  If it were me, I’d stay out of it unless you plan on changing jobs in 6 months.