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How do I continue to handle this


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Supernova11

Hi everyone 

I posted about my ex in here before. We work together, it was a short relationship of only about 4 months and I ended it last year for multiple issues. Our value systems were just completely off. There was no way we were suited.
 

Things then slowly got back to normal at work, we both clearly had feelings but knew it was definitely over. I had made that clear. Then COVID hit and we’ve been working from home until a few weeks ago and now we’re back in the office.

And you would think after all that time, we’d be cool with each other now? No. He’s still a bit flirty but not much (he has a girlfriend now btw) but it’s more the general connection we have.

We’re already collaborating on two projects and are getting really good ideas together. We do work really well together. And he met my family when we were dating and was genuinely concerned about their health, especially my sister who is shielding at present.


There is a knowing look between us sometimes that we still care about each other and it’s hard.

I know it’s something I’ve got to work through and so has he but if anyone has any useful advice, words of encouragement or wisdom. 

I thought I had processed everything pretty well but it seems that actually feelings are still there on both sides. How do I continually deal with this? I know “this too shall pass”....

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Is there any way the two of you can avoid working on the same project at least for a little while as you process?

Other than that, things will slowly get better over time as you settle into a pattern of seeing each other as friends and colleagues rather than romantic partners. Covid doesn't give people the emotional space to process things properly (since you're in a sort of "survival mode" living day to day), so it's no surprise that your feelings have reverted. Since you've been a significant figure in each others' lives (albeit for a short time), you can't avoid caring about that person, but you can acknowledge that a romantic relationship just won't work.

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.. and maybe keep reminding yourself of why you ended the relationship. It's natural to miss the good things, but we sometimes forget (temporarily) the bad things. 

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