BriS2011 Posted July 14, 2020 Share Posted July 14, 2020 I have been with my husband for almost 7 years, we’ve been married for almost 5 years. This relationship has been a exhausting roller coaster. When I was pregnant with our son he got fired from his job for not going in so I was left very pregnant and working a full time job while he sat at home and did nothing and I would still come home and take care of the house. When we had our first child it was going fine he had a job but he turned into an alcoholic. He would drink so much he couldn’t be trusted alone with our son. During our whole relationship I’ve been the one who takes care of the household chores, laundry, taking of our son, while having a full time job. I eventually left and he went to rehab and got better which is great and we had our daughter. We would still fight because I would ask for help with the kids or with the house meanwhile still working a full time job. He would constantly through my job back in my face saying I wasn’t making enough or it wasn’t physically demanding like his. He has recently started drinking again 6 packs a beer every night I feel he is just going back to his ways and I’m just so mentally exhausted to even argue about it anymore. I want happiness be connection for my kids and I. I feel I have hit my point in the relationship that it’s just wasting here when I could be just with my kids. But how do you start over? Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted July 14, 2020 Share Posted July 14, 2020 I don't know if you are wasting your time. You have accepted a lot of bad behavior from your husband and you are still within the marriage. You must feel there is something worth saving. A lot of people would have left all ready. He must feel very sure that you will stay. Have you two done any counseling in the past or have you always tried to sort it out on your own? Both types of reconciliation require good faith on his part and yours to have a chance of success and the way you portray him I get the feeling that good faith is not one of his better qualities. What are his deep issues with the marriage that are setting the stage? What does he complain about? Keeping in mind that what he says may be only an indirect reflection of how he really feels. Is there any past or present infidelity that either partner thinks the other is blind to? Is he frustrated that he can't reach his work related goals and feels like a failure? Does he have past emotional issues with family? Perhaps he feels trapped and is blaming it on you. Seeing you as an anchor around his neck holding him back. Alcohol is like the bad angel on your shoulder whispering in your ear. You need a third party counselor that can cut through all the pent up emotion that is distorting his view of life because Doctor Budweiser isn't up to the task. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 14, 2020 Share Posted July 14, 2020 Go to an Al-Anon meeting. It's a support group for people who love alcoholics. Go to a few meetings You will get a lot more insight into your marriage & then you will be able to make the best decision for you & your family. FWIW, IMO his stint in rehab was his 2nd chance. Since he's blown that I'd be done. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted July 27, 2020 Share Posted July 27, 2020 Why did you have another baby with him, knowing you were already doing 99% of the work? Just curious. Link to post Share on other sites
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