Wildflower201 Posted July 18, 2020 Share Posted July 18, 2020 I didn't want to add this to my existing thread. I just have a simple question. How can they just treat you like you're nothing? Like you aren't even a person? One day, you just turn into trash and they throw you away, not even treating you with the decency of telling you. Just abandon a person they said they love and care about. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Realitysux Posted July 18, 2020 Share Posted July 18, 2020 (edited) 23 minutes ago, Wildflower201 said: I didn't want to add this to my existing thread. I just have a simple question. How can they just treat you like you're nothing? Like you aren't even a person? One day, you just turn into trash and they throw you away, not even treating you with the decency of telling you. Just abandon a person they said they love and care about. Cause he didn't love you. I've been with men and I'm not even thinking about them today. He's not thinking about you and you are wasting your time trying to fight with that reality. Edited July 18, 2020 by Realitysux 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Wildflower201 Posted July 18, 2020 Author Share Posted July 18, 2020 31 minutes ago, Realitysux said: Cause he didn't love you. I've been with men and I'm not even thinking about them today. He's not thinking about you and you are wasting your time trying to fight with that reality. Then why lie and pretend for years? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Luna66star Posted July 18, 2020 Share Posted July 18, 2020 He was trying to pull the wool over your eyes so that he could use you for his own selfish needs. Stringing you along by lying was his best kept secret . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted July 18, 2020 Share Posted July 18, 2020 12 hours ago, Wildflower201 said: Then why lie and pretend for years? Women do it too... They see a bigger wallet and poof they are gone! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 18, 2020 Share Posted July 18, 2020 15 hours ago, Wildflower201 said: I just have a simple question. How can they just treat you like you're nothing? Like you aren't even a person? One day, you just turn into trash and they throw you away, not even treating you with the decency of telling you. Just abandon a person they said they love and care about. Some cheaters are extraordinarily skilled at compartmentalizing. It's how a lot of them do what they do, without feeling much remorse. Meaning, they divide their lives into different compartments and can keep their emotions separate as well. They can close one compartment whenever it's not convenient to leave it hanging open with its contents exposed. Also, feelings can and do change. What was once interesting and exciting (the affair partner) loses its lustre and becomes just another obligation to attend to, so to speak. Like any relationship, it can fizzle out when someone progressively loses interest. That tends to happen more quickly with the threat of exposure as well, or the sense that the betrayed spouse is on to them. Most cheaters don't leave for their affair partners; the stakes are just too high. So at the risk of losing everything, they disappear instead. Cheaters put their own needs and desires first, and they're not generally prioritizing how their affair partners will feel. And so, here you are. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Amethyst68 Posted July 18, 2020 Share Posted July 18, 2020 It's not only cheaters who do this, some single people share this trait. I would bet this MM was the same in his relationships before he got married and he obviously doesn't treat his wife well. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Luna66star Posted July 18, 2020 Share Posted July 18, 2020 MM profess "problems at home". What does that even mean really? It's ambiguous enough to make your head spin. These insinuations are common with MM. Often they are uttered knowing you will "try to figure it out". Which means overanalyzing things night and day. We dont really know the truth of MM life. They keep things private from OW. In reality, a lot of MM gave a great friendship with the spouse, but wife is no longer interested in sex. They may or may not have told the wife of their needs for sex. We really dont know. Either way, is that good enough justification for a man to look for sex outside the marriage? What if the wife flat out refuses a sex life? We can feel sorry for his plight. But on the other hand, I as a woman simply can't respect him for the deceit involved with cheating. Call it cowardly, insecurity or plain old desperation - at the end of the day - they must hate themselves. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
mark clemson Posted July 18, 2020 Share Posted July 18, 2020 It sounds like your MM was not a very nice person, so that goes a long way towards explaining things. Speaking generally, I suspect most people "discard" people in their lives for various reasons. Friendships they "outgrow", people who are bad for us or ask for too much from us, exes we no longer have interest in, people who changed over time in unexpected or negative ways, etc, etc... Link to post Share on other sites
SoulCat Posted July 18, 2020 Share Posted July 18, 2020 (edited) 17 hours ago, Wildflower201 said: I didn't want to add this to my existing thread. I just have a simple question. How can they just treat you like you're nothing? Like you aren't even a person? Because you let him. No offense but this guy has been a total a$$hat from day 1, and you still bought in to it hook, like and sinker. You'd be much better off exploring the reasons why you went along with it for so long, it will serve you better in the long run. You already have one child by him, and soon another. Please get yourself in a good place, without him, without looking back, without wondering what if or why. Move forward, on your own steam. Head up, be pro-active and make your life and that of your kids the best it can be. Edited July 18, 2020 by SoulCat 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted July 18, 2020 Share Posted July 18, 2020 most peoples early relationships do not work out, you have to steel yourself to start again and next time you will be aware of the signs quicker if they are not really into you, get back out there again. or just start doing fun things, engage in some activities, even if they are online and start making use of your day doing something positive. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 19, 2020 Share Posted July 19, 2020 (edited) Yes, this MM has behaved in truly atrocious and abusive ways... the fact that he has just walked away is certainly in keeping with what you have shared of his behaviour in your past relationship. In fact, if he is to finally walk away and leave you be, it may be one of the kinder things he has ever done for you (although, I can understand how it would not feel that way to you wildflower). Something tells me he will be back though... this is all part of the cycle of abuse you seem to be in with this man. I hope you find the strength to break free... Edited July 19, 2020 by BaileyB Link to post Share on other sites
Luna66star Posted July 19, 2020 Share Posted July 19, 2020 I'm sorry you're going through this. My best advice for the future is - don't get involved with MM. They are not dating material, not at least until they have been divorced for a year. Regrettably, they are not looking for anything substantial while married, just a distraction. It's possible he cared for you but please wake up - this is a losing battle. Link to post Share on other sites
pepperbird Posted July 22, 2020 Share Posted July 22, 2020 op, if you ever want a good barometer of a person, look at how they treat the other people in their life besides yourself. Look at how he treated his wife. She's likely just an average person, not perfect, but not terrible- just like you. If he would treat someone he made promises to the way he has, it tells you something about him and how he treats those he claims to love. You and his wife both deserve so much better. Link to post Share on other sites
pepperbird Posted July 22, 2020 Share Posted July 22, 2020 (edited) On 7/18/2020 at 9:39 PM, BaileyB said: Yes, this MM has behaved in truly atrocious and abusive ways... the fact that he has just walked away is certainly in keeping with what you have shared of his behaviour in your past relationship. In fact, if he is to finally walk away and leave you be, it may be one of the kinder things he has ever done for you (although, I can understand how it would not feel that way to you wildflower). Something tells me he will be back though... this is all part of the cycle of abuse you seem to be in with this man. I hope you find the strength to break free... spoken for truth...OP, you can't change him. He's a sneaking snake. What you can do is change you. Start feeling good about yourself. I'm sure there's tons about you that's pretty amazing and worth so much more than the way this man has been treating you. Don;t get bogged down in judging yourself based on how he treats you. What are some things about yourself that you're proud of? What are some of your accomplishments? Find the "you" that was there before he came onto the scene. That way, if he does come crawling back, you'll be string enough to tell him to take his sorry behind back to his wife and stay there. You've got your life and there's no room in it for him. Edited July 22, 2020 by pepperbird Link to post Share on other sites
N0TH1N6L3FT Posted July 23, 2020 Share Posted July 23, 2020 On 7/18/2020 at 5:15 PM, Luna66star said: MM profess "problems at home". What does that even mean really? It's ambiguous enough to make your head spin. These insinuations are common with MM. Often they are uttered knowing you will "try to figure it out". Which means overanalyzing things night and day. We dont really know the truth of MM life. They keep things private from OW. In reality, a lot of MM gave a great friendship with the spouse, but wife is no longer interested in sex. They may or may not have told the wife of their needs for sex. We really dont know. Either way, is that good enough justification for a man to look for sex outside the marriage? What if the wife flat out refuses a sex life? We can feel sorry for his plight. But on the other hand, I as a woman simply can't respect him for the deceit involved with cheating. Call it cowardly, insecurity or plain old desperation - at the end of the day - they must hate themselves. Mine never communicated after we're got married whatever the hell he wants. I seen his bs. He likes what I do and my little quirks. Here's looking for another me, some of them even could pass as a sister. Sad thing is, he makes me look past crazy. Truth is, He made me that way after 16 years. I suggest stunt ever listen to any MM ever. They always use every little thing they actually don't have s problem with into something evil hearted. In reality they just want many more holes to stick their d*co. Pathetic. And the poor wife is usually clueless. I was until a ninth ago. Just imagine. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts