SumGuy Posted July 20, 2020 Share Posted July 20, 2020 12 hours ago, VeryConfused12 said: He told her he would make her life hell and tell the kids what she did. He’s had a “fling” in the past before and she confronted him about it. He denied it and finally admitted it cause he wanted to throw it in her face. He told her the co parenting would be like hell so she could remember what she did. .... He has also mentioned that he would make sure the family knew how much of a slut she is. She should talk to a divorce attorney and see if and what she can record. Where I live such threats are viewed very poorly by the courts, very. Where I live the courts will rip you a new one if you use the kids like this and make their life "hell." Let alone bad mouthing her in front of the kids, where I live that is parental alienation and a big no. There is no reason for them to be brought in on the existence of extramarital affairs, none, again at least where I live. The problem is always in proving such threats, alienation, etc. Where I live it seems it is generally easier to prove if the threat maker is male...he would be on very thin ice here, and one ill chosen word away from an arrest...again if you had proof he said it. Despite that I've heard around where I live such behavior from husbands is not uncommon, rarely ends well for them. If they are foolish enough to act that way in front of a judge or put it in writing (like an e-mail) it's over. Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 20, 2020 Share Posted July 20, 2020 How long have you been in a relationship with this woman? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 20, 2020 Share Posted July 20, 2020 On 7/19/2020 at 9:19 PM, VeryConfused12 said: he has already told her what he would do if she were to ever leave him. And what exactly do you think he's going to do if he finds out she's cheating on him with his own cousin? You and she are both playing with fire. Don't assume this will never accidentally be exposed and that he will just live in oblivion forever. If he's threatened to make her life hell if she leaves, much less has a sexual relationship with his cousin...then you better be sleeping with one eye open, my dude. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author VeryConfused12 Posted July 21, 2020 Author Share Posted July 21, 2020 18 hours ago, BaileyB said: How long have you been in a relationship with this woman? About 7 months Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted July 21, 2020 Share Posted July 21, 2020 On 7/20/2020 at 12:23 AM, VeryConfused12 said: He told her he would make her life hell and tell the kids what she did. He’s had a “fling” in the past before and she confronted him about it. He denied it and finally admitted it cause he wanted to throw it in her face. He told her the co parenting would be like hell so she could remember what she did. Even though he did it as well, she put it behind her and moved on. She never threatened him with the kids. He has also mentioned that he would make sure the family knew how much of a slut she is. I understand it is wrong. I totally understand and see where everyone blanes is. We are to blame. But again this was totally unexpected and took us both by surprise. I"m confused. What is he going to tell the kids? You said that he only knows that you and his wife chat so what exactly is he going to reveal to the kids? Has she had other affairs? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author VeryConfused12 Posted July 21, 2020 Author Share Posted July 21, 2020 4 hours ago, anika99 said: I"m confused. What is he going to tell the kids? You said that he only knows that you and his wife chat so what exactly is he going to reveal to the kids? Has she had other affairs? No she hasn’t. If we come clean he would tell the kids everything about her Link to post Share on other sites
pepperbird Posted July 22, 2020 Share Posted July 22, 2020 On 7/20/2020 at 3:23 AM, VeryConfused12 said: He told her he would make her life hell and tell the kids what she did. He’s had a “fling” in the past before and she confronted him about it. He denied it and finally admitted it cause he wanted to throw it in her face. He told her the co parenting would be like hell so she could remember what she did. Even though he did it as well, she put it behind her and moved on. She never threatened him with the kids. He has also mentioned that he would make sure the family knew how much of a slut she is. I understand it is wrong. I totally understand and see where everyone blanes is. We are to blame. But again this was totally unexpected and took us both by surprise. I[m sorry, but I just about spit out my drink I was laughing so hard. His big thing that she can;t stand up to him for is that he might tell the kids she had an affair? Seriously, really think about that for a minute. She will continue to cheat with you, all the while saying she can't divorce or be honest because he will tell the kids she had an affair? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
pepperbird Posted July 22, 2020 Share Posted July 22, 2020 On 7/20/2020 at 3:47 PM, SumGuy said: She should talk to a divorce attorney and see if and what she can record. Where I live such threats are viewed very poorly by the courts, very. Where I live the courts will rip you a new one if you use the kids like this and make their life "hell." Let alone bad mouthing her in front of the kids, where I live that is parental alienation and a big no. There is no reason for them to be brought in on the existence of extramarital affairs, none, again at least where I live. The problem is always in proving such threats, alienation, etc. Where I live it seems it is generally easier to prove if the threat maker is male...he would be on very thin ice here, and one ill chosen word away from an arrest...again if you had proof he said it. Despite that I've heard around where I live such behavior from husbands is not uncommon, rarely ends well for them. If they are foolish enough to act that way in front of a judge or put it in writing (like an e-mail) it's over. From what the OP says . the "hell" they would be forced to ensure would be to know their mother had an affair. I think there's a lot of hyperbole going on here. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 22, 2020 Share Posted July 22, 2020 My guess she isn't leaving of her own accord, what you are getting are the usual excuses from a married person in an affair. "I would leave,... BUT..." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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