shalina1789 Posted July 19, 2020 Share Posted July 19, 2020 (edited) My brother and his girlfriend had a big row because he was found to be cheating. We understand this is completely his fault, we have not defended him in any way. That is a separate matter now. he is suicidal, he has attempted this at least twice in the past. His relationship came to an end due to the reason above. That day, I found him choking. He had taken 120 pills with alcohol and was taken into the ICU where he suffered 2 seizures and had no pulse at one point. The doctors were going to put him on life support, no one thought he would survive. But a miracle happened and he did. He of course wrote a note, addressed to my family and his ex girlfriend. I didn't get to read it as the paramedics took it. I saw some messages from his ex girlfriend, my brother had told her he is suicidal but she did not believe him and did not warn us at home. I told her what happened as soon as I found him and I asked her if she spoke to my brother at all, and she said no. I understand being cheated on has no excuses, and it is wrong. I know this well and truly and would never condone such behaviour. But she didn't care about the fact that my brother was about to lose his life. when my brother woke up, he messaged and called her. When he messaged her the first thing she said was "Oh. You're alive" as if she was disappointed and when he called her, he told me she said "why aren't you dead? You're a cheater". She also said " I would wish you luck but you don't need it. You survived 100 pills" when I showed her the alcohol she laughed and said "thats my bottle😂😂😂" what can I do about this? I know cheating is so so so wrong, but I also know no one's life should be regarded so lowly unless they're a murderer, a rapist or a peadophile. She has cheated on someone before too. What can i do? I'm so distressed knowing she's said this. It's like she wanted him dead for this but didn't want to get her hands dirty. I've also been cheated on in the past by my ex boyfriend. I knew he was cheating but I didnt do anything about it at first. But when his mum was dying and passed away, I forgot all about that and just focused on this life. I was there for him, despite how horrible he was to me because life is important. It doesnt matter who you are, like I said unless youre a murderer rapist or a peado, you life will always matter. Edited July 19, 2020 by shalina1789 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 19, 2020 Share Posted July 19, 2020 12 minutes ago, shalina1789 said: what can I do about this? I know cheating is so so so wrong, but I also know no one's life should be regarded so lowly unless they're a murderer, a rapist or a peadophile. She has cheated on someone before too. What can i do? You can't do anything but support your brother in getting the help he needs. Be there for him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted July 19, 2020 Share Posted July 19, 2020 Don't waste your time blaming his girlfriend or nitpicking her past relationships for a "see, she did it too" reason to put the blame on her. Both of them are not in their right state of mind because of the emotions involved. She only owes him what she's willing to give. Don't make excuses for your brothers poor choices. It will keep you from focusing on getting him the help he needs to move out of the dark place he's in. Chances are his suicide attempt stems from other problems along with the one he has with his girlfriend. Toss all of that to the side for moment and do your best to make sure he faces up to his emotional problems and does the work needed to restore himself as a functioning adult. You can hate on the girlfriend later. She's not going anywhere. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 19, 2020 Share Posted July 19, 2020 I'm so sorry that your family is going through this. Thank heavens you found him but that must have been so upsetting for you to see. Do take care of yourself too through all of this. As for his EX, you can't do anything. She's angry. Her lack of compassion shows your brother is better off without her but you can't punish her. You can stay away from her & hope that your brother never goes back to her. Meanwhile ask his doctors what -- if anything -- you & the rest of your family can do to support your brother. Check out a website called The Suicide Prevention & Resource Center sprc dot .org. Love your brother. Pray for him if you are a person of faith. Link to post Share on other sites
TeddyBundy1993 Posted July 19, 2020 Share Posted July 19, 2020 Your brother needs to be under supervision buddy. And ask him not to communicate with this girl. I believe your brother needs psychological help and lot of emotional support that not be said will come from family and friends well wishers. I think all most all heart broken people give a thought about suicide at one point, it's really common these days. Already this corona epidemic is taking toll on mental health of people already, anyhow Sooner your brother forgets his girlfriend the better it will be for him and in her case as well. Being left and getting cheated can be very hard to deal with. But nobody in this world is worth giving up on your life. No girl no boy. Time to forget that girl, for him and for you all as well. You should get rid of her gifts pics and all for him soon Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted July 19, 2020 Share Posted July 19, 2020 I am really sorry to hear about this and what you are all going through. You sound a wonderful sister and clearly want to do what you can for your brother. His ex sounds pretty callous, to be honest, but they broke up and she is no longer responsible for him. As other posters have said, he should not contact her. Your brother does need the right psychological help. Getting that is difficult. Whatever happens, do not hold yourself responsible because your brother has problems. Link to post Share on other sites
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