SS2855 Posted August 20, 2020 Share Posted August 20, 2020 6 hours ago, LaceyMcAntire said: I always felt we were different, because he doesn't want me to leave his life completely, that means I am important to him, but Im not a priority and that's what Im not ok with. Exactly. This MM and I are very close and also work together which adds a whole other layer. He wants me in his life but knows he’s never changing anything in his. We’re obviously remote now but he’s still “present” virtually. As I told another poster it will be 2 years tomorrow in this affair. 2 years of constant anxiety, 2 years of checking my phone, 2 years of his words and actions either making or breaking me. I’m not putting this on him, I’m putting it on myself for why I can’t seem to walk away. Why I’ve assigned an insane amount of value to him and why my mind can’t seem to understand that in a world of 7 billion people I why do I feel I only want and could ever want HIM. And I know this isn’t rooted in he being my soul mate though it feels that way. I’ve read enough to know that he’s more of a chemical dependence for me, masked as what I see as my soul mate and one and only true love. Ugh. I wish my feelings matched the logic here. Link to post Share on other sites
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