QuietRiot Posted July 24, 2020 Share Posted July 24, 2020 (edited) As I browse through my Facebook almost daily, sometimes as plain as day I'd see this "people you may know" list in a horizontal row...as I browse through them, I have noticed a considerable amount of attractive women there...some of them which we either share a few mutual friends already or we are members of groups that share similar interests. There are also some Facebook groups designated for singles, where I can browse the list of members and DM there. But, I was wondering if there is any kind of fax paux there messaging a lady that say, you had shared friendships with people from high school or other social circles and open with that as you engage in dialogue, "Hey, I see we share mutual friends with...etc etc!" "I see we went to the same high school/college..." and so on. I recall one woman on POF and Match that popped up in my social media feed that shared a mutual friendship with said woman. Considering she knew my friend (and I knew this friend pretty well) I asked him (he's married) about her. He said she is a friend of his wife's through work, but was mostly into wealthy, high highfalutin men. So struck that off my list before even trying. lol Another one is a candidate for a local election. lol Any gents here tried this as an option outside of online dating? Edited July 24, 2020 by QuietRiot Link to post Share on other sites
Blind-Sided Posted July 25, 2020 Share Posted July 25, 2020 Your suggestion is borderline creepy. Sure... keep all options open, but don't contact someone one FB for a date. If they are a friend of a friend... and you can see they are single... send them a friend request... and then ask your REAL fiend about that person. Link to post Share on other sites
Author QuietRiot Posted July 25, 2020 Author Share Posted July 25, 2020 7 minutes ago, Blind-Sided said: Your suggestion is borderline creepy. Sure... keep all options open, but don't contact someone one FB for a date. If they are a friend of a friend... and you can see they are single... send them a friend request... and then ask your REAL fiend about that person. So you're okay with sending them a friend request, but don't send them a message? Funny, there had been times where I asked a REAL friend about someone on their friends list, before I took ANY other action...they didn't care much for me even asking. Even to them that was creepy....the asking about them part. Something about them knowing about you trolling their list of friends....so it's better to leave that part be. Link to post Share on other sites
Blind-Sided Posted July 25, 2020 Share Posted July 25, 2020 If it's a friend of a fiend... then the first contact would be to just add that person to you list. OK... I don't understand the comment about "Real Fiends". I guess I have to assume that you are a person on FB who has hundreds of "Friends" who you have never met or talked to in real life. If that's the case... then no... don't ask them about the person you are interested in, since they aren't "REAL" fiends. But a real... IN LIFE fiend should want to help you with info on any single they know. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 26, 2020 Share Posted July 26, 2020 You could get blocked that way. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted July 26, 2020 Share Posted July 26, 2020 This is how all the kids do it these days according to my daughter, 19. All on sm , they don't care if they know someone or not they just say hi and off it goes, or may. Link to post Share on other sites
dangerous Posted July 26, 2020 Share Posted July 26, 2020 I'd always try and see which friend they are connected with and what the interaction looks like, you might learn something: I had the same things, all these incredibly beautiful women (I'm talking supermodel beautiful) from all over the world would crop up. When I checked, they all had one mutual friend. When I looked at who it was, it was this guy at the gym I knew, lets call him Gianni: He beleived he was the original "Italian Stallion" ... BUT... he was over 50, short, really fat, wore fancy patterned shirts with a gold medallion and a hairy chest showing, and this was his casual day wear! Oh and he had an orange tan too, and always had his sunglasses nearby! Anyway, this guy, told me he was only attracted to women under 35 and slim, beautiful. Any woman his age or figure was not his type he'd say He still lived at home with his mother btw.. All these women were international, and he was pen friends through FB with them all, and they told him they loved him and he loved them etc. One of them, he travelled to Romania (!) to meet and she became his GF in England, he spend a small fortune on treating her to clothes, hotels and champagne. After 6 months she asked him for £30,000 to set her up with a business venture. When he said no, she dumped him! So, no, I never connected with those FB Friend suggestions if they had a connection with Gianni. Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 I have thought about this idea before but there are numerous issues with it and I don't believe it is a good idea at all. I think what put me off the idea is the fact I knew I wouldn't have any chance with that sort of person. Added to which rejection would be even more awkward because of the mutual friend. Very little upside in this tactic UNLESS you have something tangible to offer. Link to post Share on other sites
Author QuietRiot Posted July 28, 2020 Author Share Posted July 28, 2020 4 minutes ago, ZA Dater said: I have thought about this idea before but there are numerous issues with it and I don't believe it is a good idea at all. I think what put me off the idea is the fact I knew I wouldn't have any chance with that sort of person. Added to which rejection would be even more awkward because of the mutual friend. Very little upside in this tactic UNLESS you have something tangible to offer. I was able to garner a lady that had recently moved to the area as I saw she had posted that she was looking for work on a local community board. Had been chatting with her too, and she added me back as a friend. So we'll see Had NO mutual friends, which is kind of interesting as I had no real lreason to approach her except to talk to her about what she had posted about. Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted July 28, 2020 Share Posted July 28, 2020 12 minutes ago, QuietRiot said: I was able to garner a lady that had recently moved to the area as I saw she had posted that she was looking for work on a local community board. Had been chatting with her too, and she added me back as a friend. So we'll see Had NO mutual friends, which is kind of interesting as I had no real lreason to approach her except to talk to her about what she had posted about. I guess something like that could work. For me the idea of dating someone who is a friend of a friend is very unappealing because when it goes wrong you have a complete mess on your hands, me, I could do without that sort of mess so no attachments like you describe above is probably the best low risk strategy. Link to post Share on other sites
Author QuietRiot Posted July 29, 2020 Author Share Posted July 29, 2020 21 hours ago, ZA Dater said: I guess something like that could work. For me the idea of dating someone who is a friend of a friend is very unappealing because when it goes wrong you have a complete mess on your hands, me, I could do without that sort of mess so no attachments like you describe above is probably the best low risk strategy. Well..the 'friend of a friend" thing is really no big deal if you're not that all close to them. "Friend" in terms of Facebook isn't really saying much and of little to no value. Link to post Share on other sites
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