Ellie30 Posted July 25, 2020 Share Posted July 25, 2020 I’m a MW seeing a MM. Our affair has been going on for 3+ years and is mainly work based with an occasional meet up outside of work. I’m completely in love with this man but lockdown has given me time to think differently about things. I’m now wondering if this amazing man is simply a clever manipulator. I’m left wondering if I really want to be a long term & possibly forever OW. Link to post Share on other sites
Mystery4u Posted July 25, 2020 Share Posted July 25, 2020 Glad you've come to your senses. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 25, 2020 Share Posted July 25, 2020 Lock down can take the thrill of sneaking around and lying to your spouse out of the equation and all you have left is some creep cheating on his wife rather than an exciting lover. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Amethyst68 Posted July 25, 2020 Share Posted July 25, 2020 (edited) Or some creep cheating on her husband. Let's not be sexist here. Sorry don't mean to be harsh but your both doing the exact same thing. Lying to and manipulating your spouses, stealing time from your families, even from your employer. Neither can claim the high ground. Edited July 25, 2020 by Amethyst68 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Bittersweetie Posted July 25, 2020 Share Posted July 25, 2020 As a former MW myself, ask yourself these questions: Why do I think that what I'm doing is okay? What am I telling myself to justify my choices? What kind of person do I want to be? One who is authentic and honest, or one who lies and cheats? What do you want for your future in terms of relationships? Because if you want a true, authentic relationship, you are not going to find it either in your affair or your marriage right now, because neither of them are on a solid, honest foundation. As someone who has gone through this, I realized my affair was just a hurtful, selfish band-aid for my own issues that I didn't want to examine or address. In the aftermath of my d-day I started doing all the hard work to grow and change and take responsibility for my choices. And even though my life is far from perfect, I am much happier now than I ever was in the affair. So think about the questions, and think about finding a counselor to talk through these things with. Good luck. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 25, 2020 Share Posted July 25, 2020 (edited) 5 hours ago, Ellie30 said: I’m now wondering if this amazing man is simply a clever manipulator. Amazing men don’t typically carry on workplace affairs and cheat on their wives for three years... Edited July 25, 2020 by BaileyB 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Amethyst68 Posted July 25, 2020 Share Posted July 25, 2020 3 hours ago, BaileyB said: Amazing men don’t typically carry on workplace affairs and cheat on their wives for three years... Again this is a married woman in the affair too. We often forget there is another marriage, another spouse in play here. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BaileyB Posted July 25, 2020 Share Posted July 25, 2020 (edited) 43 minutes ago, Amethyst68 said: Again this is a married woman in the affair too. We often forget there is another marriage, another spouse in play here. Thank you, but I have not forgotten that fact. I chose not to comment on that aspect of the situation in my post. After all, that is what was asked, she is trying to change her mindset... I was merely pointing out the obvious, that a man who engages in a long term workplace affair is no catch. A different mindset than the one she has had for all these years... Edited July 25, 2020 by BaileyB 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 25, 2020 Share Posted July 25, 2020 9 hours ago, Ellie30 said: I’m left wondering if I really want to be a long term & possibly forever OW. You may not get the chance, affairs like any other relationship can end. One, other or both can want to end things or a Dday can unexpectedly occur, throwing a huge spanner into the works... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Amethyst68 Posted July 25, 2020 Share Posted July 25, 2020 23 minutes ago, BaileyB said: Thank you, but I have not forgotten that fact. I chose not to comment on that aspect of the situation in my post. After all, that is what was asked, she is trying to change her mindset... I was merely pointing out the obvious, that a man who engages in a long term workplace affair is no catch. A different mindset than the one she has had for all these years... But she's not considering changing her mindset because of the impact of her own actions on her husband, family and marriage. Rather it's because of the effect of MM's actions on her, it's still selfish behaviour and won't do anything to prevent it happening again in the future. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LaceyMcAntire Posted August 19, 2020 Share Posted August 19, 2020 On 7/25/2020 at 5:03 AM, Ellie30 said: I’m a MW seeing a MM. Our affair has been going on for 3+ years and is mainly work based with an occasional meet up outside of work. I’m completely in love with this man but lockdown has given me time to think differently about things. I’m now wondering if this amazing man is simply a clever manipulator. I’m left wondering if I really want to be a long term & possibly forever OW. Just curious, how are you doing now? Have you been able to get on the road to getting over him? Link to post Share on other sites
Beentheretoooften Posted August 21, 2020 Share Posted August 21, 2020 On 7/25/2020 at 8:33 AM, Amethyst68 said: Or some creep cheating on her husband. Let's not be sexist here. Sorry don't mean to be harsh but your both doing the exact same thing. Lying to and manipulating your spouses, stealing time from your families, even from your employer. Neither can claim the high ground. Absolute truth right here Link to post Share on other sites
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