Author nospam99 Posted July 26, 2020 Author Share Posted July 26, 2020 elaine said ''and since you have been on OLD the whole time too, are you looking for a unicorn? '' Us 'old guys' have to be satisfied if we can connect with ponies ;) I'm being realistic to assume that the unsolicited contacts a woman like my example gets are far more numerous and of higher quality than what I've gotten (I average about two unsolicited, undesirable (age, location, body type) contacts per month, though, probably due to covid, this May was an 'o-fer'.) Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 26, 2020 Share Posted July 26, 2020 (edited) Just block/delete her and move to a better match. You'll get burned out worrying about all the weirdos on dating sites Edited July 26, 2020 by Wiseman2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted July 26, 2020 Share Posted July 26, 2020 I take a dim view of anyone who games their age (or anything else) on OLD. Men are just as guilty as women and I immediately bypass any profile that includes an explanation of why that person's real age is older than what's listed. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted July 26, 2020 Share Posted July 26, 2020 10 minutes ago, introverted1 said: I take a dim view of anyone who games their age... I could understand this if the OP were looking for a woman to have children with, but in the case of nospam99, what does it matter what age she is. He has raised his children and isn't looking to have anymore. If he enjoys her company what does it matter if she is 50 or 80... Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted July 26, 2020 Share Posted July 26, 2020 28 minutes ago, introverted1 said: I take a dim view of anyone who games their age (or anything else) on OLD. Men are just as guilty as women and I immediately bypass any profile that includes an explanation of why that person's real age is older than what's listed. Same. When I do online dating, every word and detail on my profile is the truth. If I get any hint the man doesn't have the same degree of integrity, I lose all interest. Any fudging of age is a problem. Those guys always turn out to be disingenuous in general, not serious and just looking for a quick fix. Waste of time. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
introverted1 Posted July 26, 2020 Share Posted July 26, 2020 14 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said: I could understand this if the OP were looking for a woman to have children with, but in the case of nospam99, what does it matter what age she is. He has raised his children and isn't looking to have anymore. If he enjoys her company what does it matter if she is 50 or 80... Are we talking about the same thing? I am referring to people who post their age (or height or weight or picture or whatever) as something other than what is accurate. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted July 26, 2020 Share Posted July 26, 2020 58 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said: OMG!! Do you get a gold star if you never lie?? Everyone tells a little white lie here and there when dating. Nope, not everyone. The way I see it, a person with confidence and integrity has no reason to lie about anything. Lies always come out somehow, and often cause relationships to break down as trust breaks down. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted July 26, 2020 Share Posted July 26, 2020 It's not only of concern during childbearing age. Other concerns come into play during retirement and golden years. It's every person's choice how important age is to them. You don't get to manipulate somebody's decision making because you wish you were younger and could attract younger people. If you do, in my book, you're not someone I'd ever want to date. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 26, 2020 Share Posted July 26, 2020 Female interest in nospam, as soon as he turned 65, fell off a cliff and he hit a very dry spell, which if anything has got worse. By all accounts he is super fit and healthy. he does not really physically match with most women in his age group. Fitter women in their fifties are not interested as he is "too old".... Had he decided to shave 5 years off his age to find better matches then what really was the harm? It is not as if he is decrepit, trying to turn back time, he just wants to find a woman who can keep up with him... He wears the badge of honesty, so instead of luxuriating in a fertile valley, he has been out there braving the elements in an arid desert... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted July 26, 2020 Share Posted July 26, 2020 13 minutes ago, elaine567 said: Had he decided to shave 5 years off his age to find better matches then what really was the harm? It is not as if he is decrepit, trying to turn back time, he just wants to find a woman who can keep up with him... He wears the badge of honesty, so instead of luxuriating in a fertile valley, he has been out there braving the elements in an arid desert... The harm is he would be LYING and manipulating the situation, robbing the woman of her free choice. Any relationship built on a lie is bound to fail. Who needs the drama and pain? There are single women in their 60s who are active and could keep up with him. My mom (while not single) is in her 70s and super fit and active. She still mows her own half acre yard herself because she's not satisfied with the way anyone does it. Her best friend is widowed, in her 60s, absolutely radiant, vibrant, and gorgeous. She goes to the gym almost every day, wears these adorable skirt suits out doing her ministry work, during non-Coronavirus times travels the globe doing ministry. I had lunch with her one day and she told me she'd love to date and marry again - but of course, she has high standards, as she's quite happy on her own and is only going to get involved with someone who can add something to her life, not take away. The HONEST path is always more difficult than the lying, cheating path - in the short term. But in the long run, being true to yourself and others pays off. Link to post Share on other sites
Weezy1973 Posted July 26, 2020 Share Posted July 26, 2020 1 hour ago, Ruby Slippers said: There are single women in their 60s who are active and could keep up with him. Exactly. Like attracts like. If he is in a super rare tier of fitness, then a similar woman would be equally rare. Just need to be patient. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted July 26, 2020 Share Posted July 26, 2020 2 hours ago, elaine567 said: He wears the badge of honesty, so instead of luxuriating in a fertile valley, he has been out there braving the elements in an arid desert... 100% agree... and if the OP had been a little less honest with "Natalie", she'd still be with him. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted July 26, 2020 Share Posted July 26, 2020 54 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said: 100% agree... and if the OP had been a little less honest with "Natalie", she'd still be with him. The truth would come out eventually. Then she'd leave anyway, and he'd be another year older. Link to post Share on other sites
CAPSLOCK BANDIT Posted July 26, 2020 Share Posted July 26, 2020 On 7/25/2020 at 10:28 AM, nospam99 said: @capslock bandit. I disagree with the premise that you can arbitrarily assign people to pre and post technology just based on age. I'm 66, a Boomer. I was programming computers in '71 How are you keeping up today? Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted July 26, 2020 Share Posted July 26, 2020 1 hour ago, Happy Lemming said: 100% agree... and if the OP had been a little less honest with "Natalie", she'd still be with him. I just reviewed the OP's thread about Natalie. I think if he was "the one" for her, she would have tried to be more understanding about the porn confession. But we don't how the conversation happened and what else was going on. Likely it was an accumulation of issues for her, and this was the final straw. My last boyfriend had a more crude view of online titillation than I liked, but I stomached it for his other good qualities. The final straw that made me finally throw up my hands was him being lazy about basic yard work he had promised to do. I had a vision of my future home, with the lush gardens and sparkling swimming pool. I thought to myself: Here's a guy who's too spoiled and lazy to ever put in the kind of effort that will be required to maintain the lovely home I want. Not only that, he's cheap and refuses to pitch in to pay people to do the work to maintain our oasis that he's too lazy to do. What's the point? The disappointments were mounting and my respect and attraction took a nosedive. It probably wasn't just about the porn thing - that was just the final straw in a series of issues that weren't doing it for her. Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted August 10, 2020 Share Posted August 10, 2020 (edited) Men do the same thing and usually lie about it - "my age is wrong on here but I couldn't change it". While I can see that people don't want to be excluded from searches because of standard cut-offs, e.g. 40, 50, lying is just pointless. Having a specific age group is ok, as long as it is reasonable and close to your own age group. It looks silly for your profile to say you are looking for women aged between 20-50 when you are 58 yourself! Another thing people do is to put age categories on their profiles and then contact people outside those categories, e.g. they say 20-30 on their profile and then contact someone aged 35. That 35-year is then prevented from responding by the sender's age exclusions. Just be honest about your age. I personally do not trust anyone who lies about their age. If I found out after dating for a while that they were older or younger than they had said, I would seriously consider dumping them. It would take a lot for me to trust them again. Edited August 10, 2020 by spiderowl Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted August 18, 2020 Share Posted August 18, 2020 On 7/26/2020 at 10:03 AM, nospam99 said: I am 'judging' her (although I didn't in my OP) for dishonesty on OLD, something that many LSers seems to think is okay for women but wrong for men. As someone else said, she wasn't really being dishonest because she listed her true age in her profile. Most people, men and women, don't really know what they want. They have long laundry lists of things they supposedly want that go right out the window when they meet someone they're attracted to. First thing my now wife said to me when I told her how old I was? We can be friends but we can't date. She never in a million years imagined she would date, let alone marry, someone my age. But I didn't do what you do nospam. I didn't throw up my hands and say oh well, she doesn't want to date someone my age and get offended because she said that. Summoned the full force of my charm and went after her for a date. Entertained her, wooed her, romanced her, handled everything she could throw at me and didn't give two shts about any other guys who asked her out. The pediatrician, a partner in her old company who called her when he got divorced. She turned them all down and we ended up getting married. Honestly, if you want one of these top tier women you can't just expect them to fall all over themselves to answer your message and date you. If you're unwilling to put in the work you're not going to get the reward. Link to post Share on other sites
Angelle Posted August 18, 2020 Share Posted August 18, 2020 On 7/25/2020 at 8:18 AM, nospam99 said: Just an observation about OLD... I was swiping through my recommendations on Match this morning. Most are bad matches, either so young I have to assume they wouldn't want to date me or live too far away ... that has become 'business as usual'. But one photo caught my eye because I recognized the woman as one who I never met but with whom I exchanged friendly messages more than two years ago. Of course all I have to go on is her profile. But based on that, she is very attractive and has all sorts of other things (like economic success) going for her. One thing I noticed right away is that her profile age was listed as 52, much younger than I remembered her to be. But written right under her summary parameters were the first few lines of her essay. What she wrote in her essay is that she was really 57 but had set her profile age lower because she didn't want to date above 59 and didn't want to get messages from 'older' men. She's just a sample of one. But nevertheless an example of women having pretty 'hard' age criteria and having to game their OLD profiles in an attempt to enforce those parameters. I noticed this with men my own age, when I tried, only some of the men trying to hook up with me, were over 50, and didn't want to date anyone over 43. I was annoyed, so I set my requirements to my age, or lower, maybe a couple of years above. People told me that I should consider men a decade older, but I'd been turned off by their avoiding women their own age. I was 35/36, when I remembered I had an OKStupid account, and that's when I got to experience seeing men my age, start to lie about how old they were, in order to show up in the searches of younger women. Link to post Share on other sites
ssm617 Posted August 20, 2020 Share Posted August 20, 2020 (edited) IIRC people on Match can filter their emails so they wouldn't see emails from people that they aren't interested in for whatever reason. Whether it's age, height, body type etc. Thus they wouldn't need to put a different age on their summary at the top of the profile. Edited August 20, 2020 by ssm617 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 20, 2020 Share Posted August 20, 2020 Same old profile on Match for 2 yrs? That in itself is a red flag. Set the appropriate parameters and screen well, including people who are on the same old dating apps for years. Link to post Share on other sites
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