dancingrose523 Posted July 27, 2020 Share Posted July 27, 2020 I am 21 years old and my boyfriend of seven years ended things suddenly just a few weeks ago. Devastated can not even begin to describe my feelings. Just a few weeks before the breakup, he told me he was so happy with me, felt like we were in a great place in our relationship and said he "couldn't wait to marry me." I just fail to understand what changed so quickly. Our relationship was happy, healthy, and full of love. I just want to know if I should hold out hope for us. We had plans for our future. Plans of where to live, work, travel, etc. He told me several times in the past that he even knew how he wanted to propose to me. We go to university about 20 minutes away from each other and are about to enter our final year of undergraduate work. We have balanced school and our personal lives very well and I can't fathom losing him. I want to know - is it wrong to hold out hope for us to reconcile? I still love him with my entire heart. How can I learn to trust him to commit should we get back together? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted July 27, 2020 Share Posted July 27, 2020 Sorry this happened, OP. It's not wrong to hold out hope. You're human, after all. It's a natural reaction to an unwanted break-up. However, given how young I imagine both of you were when you started dating, the odds are higher that you will move on from each other. You likely don't know anything but each other (in terms of dating) and it is rare for people to settle down with the same person they started dating as very young teens. People change and grow up, and frequently realize they're not really ready to be committed forever and want to see what else might be out there. It doesn't necessarily mean he already has his eye on someone specific, but it likely does mean he can't make big promises to be with you forever at this point in is life. But to clarify, what were the reasons he gave you for ending it? Link to post Share on other sites
HeartSquash Posted July 27, 2020 Share Posted July 27, 2020 How old is your exbf? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 27, 2020 Share Posted July 27, 2020 Sorry to hear that. What was the breakup about? You were dating since you were 14? Take this time to reflect on what you want in life. Being together for way too long and way too young can stunt your social and psychological growth. Talk to your parents about things. Consider that this break may be an opportunity to think about things. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted July 27, 2020 Share Posted July 27, 2020 Seven years together just means you were treading water. Where was the destination? Another seven years? were you too happy with status quo? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 27, 2020 Share Posted July 27, 2020 You have been dating this boy for 7 years since you were 14 years old He's all you know. That said, most people don't spend their whole lives with their childhood sweethearts. It's not wrong or evil for you to hold out hope but it is unrealistic. He's probably moving into adulthood & jettisoning all things from childhood, which includes your relationship. I'm sorry for the suddenness but your guy has probably been thinking about this even though his words to you were still about the 2 of you. Don't chase him. Nurse your wounds. In time you will be ready to go forward without him Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted July 27, 2020 Share Posted July 27, 2020 Did he give any reason for the breakup? Link to post Share on other sites
TeddyBundy1993 Posted July 27, 2020 Share Posted July 27, 2020 Yes its wrong to hold Hope like that. In most cases it's a false hope which doesn't let you move on. He might come back in future or maybe no is it justified for you to wait for him ? Why you wanna wait for such a guy? Break up means split, emotional split as well as physical split and that guy isnt into you anymore. I would highly suggest stay no contact and give up on this hope. This is the worst of all you can do to yourself. You are 21 only life has just begun. If this guy is destined to be yours he will return someday. But dont put your life on a hold for him or no one else. Yes you are hurting bad and cant see things clearly. Grieve for a while, it seems to be a wonderful ride for you but it has came to an end now. Link to post Share on other sites
sheithappens Posted July 27, 2020 Share Posted July 27, 2020 Seven years is a long time ! It’s only natural to hold onto hope , but while you are doing that try to work on yourself. Do things you haven’t had time to do , try new hobbies and more importantly focus on your studies ! Good luck ! Everything will be good regardless if he returns or not . I promise Link to post Share on other sites
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