Searching for FWB easier than searching for a date?

[ZA Dater]

In my case finding this is about as probable as me jumping off a building an  amazingly being able to fly, however I am curious as to how guys get this type of "dating" right. Sure, a friend of mine is very good at it but is super successful never mind very fit.

For the average guy is this an easier option than dating or a more difficult one?

The same friend above mentioned to me "they all......."which I guess is true but then I go and read about value and it would seem again the values people want for this type of "relationship" are different to what they would want if they dated.

For me what I would want from a FWB would be exactly the same thing I would want from a date which I suppose is why I haven't really bothered to go down this road, apart from the fact that having no experience would make me fundamentally unsuited to FWB.

[Weezy1973]

The key to FWB is the “F” which is friends. So first you have to have some women friends, and then you have to have friends that you don’t see as relationship potential (and they see you the same way), that are single, and where you want to still have sex with each other.

 

Those are a lot of boxes to tick, and considering what you’ve told us about yourself, I don’t think it would be easier for you.

[ZA Dater]

3 hours ago, Weezy1973 said:

The key to FWB is the “F” which is friends. So first you have to have some women friends, and then you have to have friends that you don’t see as relationship potential (and they see you the same way), that are single, and where you want to still have sex with each other.

 

Those are a lot of boxes to tick, and considering what you’ve told us about yourself, I don’t think it would be easier for you.

Probably true. Seeing as I usually never get to date two.

The only reason I thought about this is maybe I might be a better friend than a date. But seeing as the only people I can seemingly befriend are those with bf's then I guess that does not really work either lol.

[Wiseman2]

FWBs are complicated and messy. Stick with dating. It sounds like your friend likes to brag.😎

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

It amazes me how many guys are still unaware of the nature of women; dating, she is available to see others... FwB, again, she is available to see others... Unless there is a commitment made on both sides, its FwB whether you are aware of that or not.

[Trail Blazer]

I accidentally had a FWB relationship one year ago.  I didn't go searching, but it just happened.  We did meet on PoF, so were we really friends?  No, so I guess we were just f**k buddies!

Alas, it got kind of messy as she grew feeling for me.  I also think she was somewhat mentally unstable.  She was hot, but crazy, so I got out of that situation before it got bad.

Unless you really do not want a relationship, I would stay well away from this kind of arrangement.  If you trust yourself to not fall.for her, then fine.  But, be prepared to leave at the drop of a hat, for whatever reason!

[chillii]

Wouldn't know , the thought of it or a woman that would go for it too, makes me feel kinda sick.

[Blind-Sided]

As kind of said above... you can't search for a FWB because the "Friend" part wouldn't be part of it.  Also... as said above... they almost always end up messy.

In my life... I've had a few of these relationships... but they girl's never started as a true "Friend."  They were generally a friend-of-a-friend.   The longest one lasted a few months, and it was a close friend of my cousin.  We met a few times when I moved across country, and one night at my cousin's house... this girl told me "No strings attached".  Since I was in my mid 20's and going to college... I thought... "Sure... could be fun."  It was, for a while. But eventually, she wanted more... and I didn't.  The reason was, we were on 2 different paths in life, and she really wouldn't have been a girl I would have "Dated" in the first place. It got ugly, and my cousin had to get involved to get this girl to back off. 

The other times were similar.   So... you really can't go and look for it.  If you do... you could destroy a real friendship... or you could hook up with a psycho. 

[QuietRiot]

On 7/28/2020 at 8:58 AM, ZA Dater said:

In my case finding this is about as probable as me jumping off a building an  amazingly being able to fly, however I am curious as to how guys get this type of "dating" right. Sure, a friend of mine is very good at it but is super successful never mind very fit.

For the average guy is this an easier option than dating or a more difficult one?

The same friend above mentioned to me "they all......."which I guess is true but then I go and read about value and it would seem again the values people want for this type of "relationship" are different to what they would want if they dated.

For me what I would want from a FWB would be exactly the same thing I would want from a date which I suppose is why I haven't really bothered to go down this road, apart from the fact that having no experience would make me fundamentally unsuited to FWB.

I have a good friendship with a woman that I had initially met via Plenty of Fish. Went out a couple of times, but after, she wasn't really feeling it. She walked away from online dating altogether, but she said she'd like to continue our friendship...so we'd hang out some times.

I'd sometimes would notice her figure and get a little turned on, so I was obviously kind of still attracted to her in a physical sense.

One day she revealed to me that she was doing a FWB thing with a married co-worker. I was  a bit irked and expressed why would she not consider me.

She says, "Well, you're a dear friend" and 2nd, a married man is someone she cannot have any obligation to since...well, he's married...so there would be no lingering attachments after bangin'.
 

So even if I wanted some action from her, she even has criteria for being a FWB.

I think a FWB occurs when there is an attration, but...there are deal breakers involved that would not make you pursue something long term with them. Like if they are a smoker, but they are smokin' in other ways. lol. 

Edited August 4, 2020 by QuietRiot

[Mysterio]

I don't understand why a single women would want a FWB with a Married man.  She should not be someone you should even consider anything romantic with.  Sh finds the Married Man better than you in someway.  Be it Physical/Personality.

[elaine567]

13 minutes ago, Mysterio said:

I don't understand why a single women would want a FWB with a Married man.

Single women who don't want commitment will enter into a FWB type arrangement with a MM because he is safe, he is not ever leaving his wife, and that suits her just fine.

[ssm617]

A person might be able to find a FWB on a swinger/sex website. When I had a FWB, it was with a woman that I met a party. We had some mutual acquaintances. A FWB isn't for everybody . But it can work for some people in the right situation. Both people need to be honest with intentions and follow whatever rules were set at the beginning. Some people will agree to a FWB secretly hoping it will lead to something more serious. A FWB won't work in that situation because that person wasn't being honest.

I also think a FWB has the best chance of working out when 2 people like each other. But there is a specific reason why they aren't interested in a more serious relationship. Perhaps there isn't enough long term compatibility because a large age difference, one person eventually wants kids and the other doesn't, one person is religious and the other isn't etc.