michelana Posted July 29, 2020 Share Posted July 29, 2020 How to accept that he wants to break up with you? Not because he doesn't love you (as he admitts), but because he thinks it is the best for both of you? How to let your feelings go and all the memories? Everything is destroying me Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted July 29, 2020 Share Posted July 29, 2020 Sorry to hear that. How long were you dating? What was the breakup about? Link to post Share on other sites
Author michelana Posted July 29, 2020 Author Share Posted July 29, 2020 Just now, Wiseman2 said: Sorry to hear that. How long were you dating? What was the breakup about? A year and a half. We had an argument because he got jealous, he made me cry, he tried to apologise by posting a picture of us. I said I just wanted some time, I would have text him later that dya (because it wasn't the first time), but he did it first by saying, "I hope I don't disappoint you, but I think it is better to go our separate ways, it is better for you and for me too" An that hit me hard. I find it so hard to accept it. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted July 29, 2020 Share Posted July 29, 2020 I’d ignore him. First he gets jealous then he makes you cry and then he breaks up with you. It sounds like he was overwhelmed by his own emotions and rather than face them and grow he ended it with you. Yeah, I’d totally let him walk away. Link to post Share on other sites
Author michelana Posted July 29, 2020 Author Share Posted July 29, 2020 1 minute ago, amaysngrace said: I’d ignore him. First he gets jealous then he makes you cry and then he breaks up with you. It sounds like he was overwhelmed by his own emotions and rather than face them and grow he ended it with you. Yeah, I’d totally let him walk away. Yeah, I would want to but I find it hard, because I love him. And all the memories makes it even harder Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted July 29, 2020 Share Posted July 29, 2020 The only memory should be how he treated you in the end. Why do you want to be with someone who takes all his bad feelings out on you? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 29, 2020 Share Posted July 29, 2020 This happened 1.5 years ago. It's time to accept that he's not coming back. Most times love is not enough. You need to have trust & confidence. Jealousy & drama will ruin a relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author michelana Posted July 29, 2020 Author Share Posted July 29, 2020 1 minute ago, amaysngrace said: The only memory should be how he treated you in the end. Why do you want to be with someone who takes all his bad feelings out on you? I don't want to be with him. I want to forget him, which I can't Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted July 29, 2020 Share Posted July 29, 2020 Start a new hobby, go out with friends, get a makeover, exercise.. Make sure you keep busy doing things you enjoy doing. Don’t allow him to take up any more of your energy than he deserves. Just try to shift the focus onto yourself as much as possible. And no matter what you do don’t contact him or stalk his social media. Save that energy for you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
DarrenB Posted July 29, 2020 Share Posted July 29, 2020 It sounds as if he's not emotionally invested like you are. There's an abundance of reasons as to why he's giving an ultimatum, some of the more common ones being influenced by indifference, incompatibility, expiation or another person in the equation. However, this is not something for you to dwell on and trying to reconcile. Regardless of the issues within the relationship, his decision was clear and concise and the last thing you want to be doing is to 1) try and reason with his decision or 2) contacting him to gain closure. Take some time for yourself and focus on self-love and solace, perhaps in time reconciliation could happen but you need to acknowledge the loss but don't consider it a fundamental loss. Keep us updated Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 29, 2020 Share Posted July 29, 2020 You probably won't forget him but you can mitigate the problem & have it hurt less. If you haven't already taken these steps start now: 1. Go NC. Disconnect from him on all platforms social media, text, phone, email, everything. 2. Purge. Get rid of all the stuff, the mementos, the photos everything. If you can't bring yourself to throw it all out, save the photos to a flash drive. Put everything in a box. Tape the box shut . ..like really tape it. . go OCD crazy so it's a real p.i.t.a. to reopen. Put the box in the back of a closet & leave it there. 3. Redecorate. Move the stuff in your space around so it's not a constant reminder of him. 4. Keep busy. When you find yourself thinking about him, remind yourself that he's bad for you & redirect your energy. Good luck. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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