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30 and STILL single


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Okay...so...here's the thing..I'm a 30 year old (bi..mostly gay) guy...physically attractive if I say so myself (or at least in my opinion), I have a decent job  great friends.....and I've been through some awful stuff when I was a teenager. Sexual abuse, seeing my friends die in a fire, addiction....sure, I've been through therapy, worked on all of that...

But I'm still single...I think I've tried everything I can think about...dating apps, blind dates, friends introducing me to people...I've worked on myself (a LOT, there was a ton of crap inside) but I've never had a serious (or semi serious...or even regular) partner. And it's not like I need one, but I think I've been missing out that part of life....as a teenager, as a young adult....now as a full blown adult...still single. For the past 5 years I've tried dating...but every single person I tried to date stood me up (and it's a sizeable number) on the supposed first date. It's like I'm missing a huge chunk of life experience...to share ups and downs with someone...waking up with someone...having fun, going on dates, etc. It doesn't overtake my whole thoughts, but it's the nagging thing inside...like a festering wound.

Am I really that wrong for wanting someone to share, at least for a while, parts of my life? Sure, I'd love to have a long lasting, perhaps even life partner, but even for a while? I mean if I really, really think about it, it really pains me, because it makes me feel unwanted...

 

Sorry guys, I just wanted to rant a bit...but if you have some advice, I'd greatly appreciate it

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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CAPSLOCK BANDIT

Gay bar?

I have a couple gay friends, they dont use apps for dating, only sex.

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It’s possible that some of the trauma you’ve experienced has led to an insecure attachment style, so although you want the kind of intimacy that comes with a relationship, you’re also afraid of being vulnerable. And fear is a great motivator.

In other words, it’s possible that you’re subconsciously behaving in ways that are preventing you from getting into a meaningful relationship. For example if every single time you’ve set up a first date, the other guy stands you up, it’s possible that you’re attracted to flaky guys that wouldn’t make good relationship partners. 

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On 7/30/2020 at 12:53 PM, Weezy1973 said:

It’s possible that some of the trauma you’ve experienced has led to an insecure attachment style, so although you want the kind of intimacy that comes with a relationship, you’re also afraid of being vulnerable. And fear is a great motivator.

In other words, it’s possible that you’re subconsciously behaving in ways that are preventing you from getting into a meaningful relationship. For example if every single time you’ve set up a first date, the other guy stands you up, it’s possible that you’re attracted to flaky guys that wouldn’t make good relationship partners. 

You might not wrong, but I wonder how could I know them before even a first date...I mean, I'd like to actually be able to know something about them 

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