Letschill Posted July 31, 2020 Posted July 31, 2020 I see that my older friends get a lot of women? Why is this?
beentheredonethat77 Posted July 31, 2020 Posted July 31, 2020 (edited) *Some* older men exude a confidence that is born through wisdom and experience. Life experience gives them perspective with regards to what is important and what is a waste of energy (most things) and many are not afraid to be straight shooters, facing the potential of rejection or healthy conflict head-on. If they learned from their life experience, their priorities are straight and they understand that they cannot control other people, only their response. This is refreshing as many young men flap around learning these life's lessons the hard way, taking their partners for the 'fun' ride. I emphasized *some* as i havnt personally found a huge correlation between age and emotional maturity, but that was my unique experience with some men-children (some simply refuse to grow and remain stunted) -- but it certainly makes sense that older people are just more likely to have that growth and wisdom due to their experience, ideally resulting in them being more of a pleasure to date. I personally dont go for older men as like i said, my (purely anecdotal) experience has been they were no better maturity wise, and tended to have a lot of down-sides that made them less appealing to me (one being -- if they havn't learned by now, its hard to teach an old dog new tricks.. stubborn in their immaturity). That said -- every new man i meet is met with fresh and open mind as i dont like to generalize and risk missing out on someone wonderful of any age. Edited July 31, 2020 by beentheredonethat77 3
regine_phalange Posted July 31, 2020 Posted July 31, 2020 Well.. I had a friend during my studies, she was 24 and her boyfriend was 50. I think he simply treated her amazing and with a lot of respect. He grew up more traditionally (we are from south Europe) and with the notion that men are givers and take care of women. Once I was out with my friend and he came to meet us for a night stroll. He brought us both a fresh cut flower from his yard. Small gesture, but very gentlemanly! 2
smackie9 Posted July 31, 2020 Posted July 31, 2020 (edited) It's about motivation and expectations. When I was a teenager I dated guys in their early 20s, because they had a car, a job, a place of their own, money and could buy me alcohol. Lots of benefits there and a big one was freedom to party, etc. BUT when I started making my own money, got a car, etc. I didn't need to date older guys and had a new interest in dating guys younger than me. So your friends that date older men obviously are motivated by certain things, like traditional dating as you mentioned. More mature, maybe making them more of a priority which makes them feel more desired. Maybe are more financially established. Edited July 31, 2020 by smackie9
Blind-Sided Posted August 1, 2020 Posted August 1, 2020 I made a couple posts about this a while back. One was like this one... and one post was my after thoughts. The reason is... I'm 47, and recently divorced. I was worried about my age, and what kind of girl I may be able to find who would want to go out with an "Old Guy." Well... it turns out... I was in the right age group. I'm established, and have my act together. Also, at my age, I'm not too old that I'm not active... but I'm not a kid anymore either. With that said...The majority of the girls who I was introduced to were 8~10 years younger... but my current GF is 21 years younger. (shes 26) Every one of these girls said I was hansom, and from my observations... they liked that I could make a decision and be confident in what I was saying and doing. I've been with my GF now for 6 mo and I have asked her a few times about WHY she is with me... and she says I'm everything that the "Boys" her age are not. She has had BF's in the past who used her as a play thing... or they were looking for a new mom, and someone who could take care of them. She comes to my house, and see's it's clean, and my kids are happy. In turn... she feels wanted, and secure... and happy. 2
Ruby Slippers Posted August 1, 2020 Posted August 1, 2020 Generally they've learned better how to treat a woman. More money can be a factor as well. 1
Shining One Posted August 2, 2020 Posted August 2, 2020 On 8/1/2020 at 9:38 AM, Ruby Slippers said: Generally they've learned better how to treat a woman. I'm not so sure about this. I used to treat women "better" when I was younger and I had far less success back then. Ever since I started treated women as replaceable (prior to commitment), I started getting better results. When I was in my late 20's, I received the most sexual attention from women in their late 30's. Now that I'm in my late 30's, women in their late 30's largely ignore me or signal their disinterest. However, the last few women I picked up were under 25. If this trend keeps up, I may stop approaching women my age unless they first signal their interest. 1
Ruby Slippers Posted August 2, 2020 Posted August 2, 2020 30 minutes ago, Shining One said: I'm not so sure about this. Of course I don't know you, but I've gathered from your posts that your thinking around relationships is more about meeting short-term needs for sexual gratification and companionship rather than having a view toward building a long-term partnership and family. Like attracts like. It makes sense that women who share your short-term focus on gratification and companionship would respond best to your mindset. Women in general are more desiring of long-term security and hence are looking for a man who at least suggests he's thinking bigger picture and making her feel that she fits into that. Of course, YOLO type of women don't think that way, which makes them a good match for you.
Woggle Posted August 2, 2020 Posted August 2, 2020 Older men are some of the most hateful misogynists I have met. Not saying all but I find that people become more and more bitter as they get older of both genders. Being put through the relationship ringer does a number on people. You got some older men and women that just outright hate the opposite sex and you can't tell them anything because they know it and you are naive. It goes for life in general which is why as I get older I am finding it harder and harder to relate to people my age. I have not lost youthful spirit yet. Some women just like older men because as much as many refuse to admit it many like the traditional dating roles and older men do tend to adhere to them more than the younger ones. 1
Shining One Posted August 2, 2020 Posted August 2, 2020 5 hours ago, Ruby Slippers said: Of course I don't know you, but I've gathered from your posts that your thinking around relationships is more about meeting short-term needs for sexual gratification and companionship rather than having a view toward building a long-term partnership and family. I would say that's a misinterpretation of my intentions. Yes, I do periodically look for ONS and casual flings when I'm single and not looking. I've been in that state since the end of my last long-term relationship. With that being said, I generally date for the purpose of finding a life partner. I don't want kids, but I certainly want a long-term partner. However, I'm willing to settle for casual flings with the person I'm dating if I determine she is not long-term relationship material. In any case, my point was that I objectively treated women better when I was a younger man. I didn't make sex a prerequisite to relationships like I do now and I was certainly thinking long-term. Now, as an older man, I treat women objectively worse, yet I get better results. By better results, I mean more dates, more sex, and more relationships. You were saying that older men learned to treat women better. Older me has learned to treat women worse (up to a point) than younger me. That's why I disagree.
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