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My friend still thinks I'm lying even after explaining myself


SkylarForever

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SkylarForever

I'm 30F and I've had a female close friend of similar age for just over a decade. We are in the same friendship group.

A year ago I reached out to another male friend who she didn't know at the time to talk about how the friendship I had with her was changing. Long story short we have been with our husbands for 7 years but she kissed me once in 2016 very unexpectedly. Things were normal for about a year then she started paying extra attention to me for a few months and then since 2018 she has been a little standoffish and only would talk to me in a group environment. There were other incidental things such not replying to my messages, ignoring me on social media and displaying weird behaviour towards me (like not wanting to come see my new house) but I let all of it slide.

I told my male friend all this a year ago but not in great detail as my concern was both being okay for our weddings in 2020.

Five months later in November he editorialised this conversation to her best friend and then she confronted me. I am not exactly sure what version she heard but I had to explain how I wasn't gossiping or saying she's unfaithful and secretly in love with me. I was simply asking for advice.

This answer seemed to satisfied her and she believed me until March when I noticed she was acting strangely again and hadn't bothered to talk to me.

I found out from my best friend that she doesn't want to talk to me because I've had plenty of opportunity to explain myself. The thing is I did last year. So it's like now she no longer believes me even though we have all moved on from it.

I decided to write her a letter to reiterate what happened. And asking her what has happened and why she went back on her word.

When she replies, she might be irritated, hostile and angry. How do I approach this in the best way possible to not cause more trouble? How do I finally convince her I'm not lying?

 

Edited by SkylarForever
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  • 2 weeks later...

Two things I learned really late in my life... something very simple that was just not sinking into my head... “you cannot change other people... you can only change yourself” and also”If it no longer serves you or make you happy, let it go.”  Some people you cannot satisfy no matter what you do.  Especially if they behave in passive aggressive way. I wish you the best of luck...

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