ExpatInItaly Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 (edited) 27 minutes ago, MalBA said: Our communication also included friends, politics, social justice etc Do you mean you shared political viewpoints, or? You've mentioned causes a couple times, so I am curious to hear how that factors into this. Edited August 2, 2020 by ExpatInItaly Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 1 minute ago, ExpatInItaly said: You've mentioned causes a couple times, so I am curious to hear how that factors into this. They broke up. He's with his dream girl from 4 yrs ago. They are all students with "causes" at that age and on campus. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 Just now, Wiseman2 said: They broke up. He's with his dream girl from 4 yrs ago. They are all students with "causes" at that age and on campus. Yes, I realize that. I ask because I have another follow-up question for OP, depending on how she responds. Link to post Share on other sites
Author MalBA Posted August 2, 2020 Author Share Posted August 2, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, elaine567 said: Nor would I, he is 25, she is 25, he is highly attracted and has been since 2016, she also motivates him to be better, perfect wife material. She's actually older than him. She's 28. But looks very young which is even creepier coz he looks older. Edited August 2, 2020 by MalBA Link to post Share on other sites
Author MalBA Posted August 2, 2020 Author Share Posted August 2, 2020 1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said: Do you mean you shared political viewpoints, or? You've mentioned causes a couple times, so I am curious to hear how that factors into this. Yes shared political viewpoints Link to post Share on other sites
Author MalBA Posted August 2, 2020 Author Share Posted August 2, 2020 (edited) 1 hour ago, stillafool said: The reason he could barely talk around her was because he's so smitten and anxious in her presence that his mind won't think. He was more comfortable with you because his feelings were more casual and he wasn't trying to impress you. This girls sounds like his dream girl and if she agrees I wouldn't be surprised if he married her. Its infatuation right? Eww why marry her? Edited August 2, 2020 by MalBA Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 Just now, MalBA said: She's actually older than him. She's 28. OK so she is likely ready to get married in the next few years Link to post Share on other sites
snowcones Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 I'm sure all of this is very hurtful for you MalBA and I really do feel for you (been there before) but you have to accept that it's over and move on. Please try to be kind to yourself and not diminish what you had (don't let others do that either) and diminish your self-worth too. You must just move on. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 11 minutes ago, MalBA said: She's actually older than him. She's 28. But looks very young which is even creepier coz he looks older. Again, their relationship is none of your business. You need to stop obsessing over your ex boyfriend and his new girlfriend. WHO CARES why he is with her, and the details of their relationship... it doesn't matter as far as you are concerned. You need to get over it and move on. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 What are you doing to help yourself move on, OP? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 29 minutes ago, MalBA said: Its infatuation right? Seems like more than that. He's not coming back and even if he did, would you still always want to be his second best? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MalBA Posted August 2, 2020 Author Share Posted August 2, 2020 31 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Seems like more than that. He's not coming back and even if he did, would you still always want to be his second best? Second best? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MalBA Posted August 2, 2020 Author Share Posted August 2, 2020 44 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: What are you doing to help yourself move on, OP? I already have moved on Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 5 minutes ago, MalBA said: I already have moved on This thread is a clear indication that you have not moved on at all. No judgement here, as it takes time to really detach, but you're going to need to be honest with yourself if you ever want to get over him. You need to deal with the facts as they are (that it hurts he's with her) rather than what you wish they were (that you have moved on from him) 2 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fresh_Start Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 (edited) 13 minutes ago, MalBA said: I already have moved on If that was true, you wouldn't be coming here to make a post about your ex and his new girlfriend, then carried on and on about it for 4 pages. Once you have well and truly moved on, you won't care what your ex is doing. Edit: Beat me to it @ExpatInItaly. Edited August 2, 2020 by Fresh_Start 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 19 hours ago, MalBA said: You didnt answer this? You were a FWB. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MalBA Posted August 2, 2020 Author Share Posted August 2, 2020 7 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said: This thread is a clear indication that you have not moved on at all. No judgement here, as it takes time to really detach, but you're going to need to be honest with yourself if you ever want to get over him. You need to deal with the facts as they are (that it hurts he's with her) rather than what you wish they were (that you have moved on from him) 6 minutes ago, Fresh_Start said: If that was true, you wouldn't be coming here to make a post about your ex and his new girlfriend, then carried on and on about it for 4 pages. Once you have well and truly moved on, you won't care what your ex is doing. Edit: Beat me to it @ExpatInItaly. I just want to know if I was replaced or she was a replacement? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MalBA Posted August 2, 2020 Author Share Posted August 2, 2020 Just now, smackie9 said: You were a FWB. no? Cos we were officially known as a romantic pair. Fwb don't meet families or add them on socials? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 (edited) 4 minutes ago, MalBA said: no? Cos we were officially known as a romantic pair. Fwb don't meet families or add them on socials? Sure they can. Either that or your relaitonship wasn't as romantic or intense as you thought it was. It ran it's course. Someone became available whom he had way more interest in. Many people get dumped for that. It is what it is. Edited August 2, 2020 by smackie9 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MalBA Posted August 2, 2020 Author Share Posted August 2, 2020 8 minutes ago, smackie9 said: Sure they can. Either that or your relaitonship wasn't as romantic or intense as you thought it was. It ran it's course. Someone became available whom he had way more interest in. Many people get dumped for that. It is what it is. Are you seriously suggesting fwb meet families and are exclusive and use photos of each other as screensavers, go on holidays, take pics?? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 13 minutes ago, MalBA said: I just want to know if I was replaced or she was a replacement? She's his GF now & you are his EX. That is all there is to it. He broke up with you & moved on to her. Why doesn't matter as much as the fact that he did this. You are out of the picture. If you have truly moved on, stop trying to figure out how she compares to you in his life. She won. She is is GF Link to post Share on other sites
Author MalBA Posted August 2, 2020 Author Share Posted August 2, 2020 1 minute ago, d0nnivain said: She's his GF now & you are his EX. That is all there is to it. He broke up with you & moved on to her. Why doesn't matter as much as the fact that he did this. You are out of the picture. If you have truly moved on, stop trying to figure out how she compares to you in his life. She won. She is is GF She won? She didn't have him for 4 years. I had him and she saw us together many times im sure whike we were on campus. So how she won? She was the loser for the last 4 years. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 1 hour ago, MalBA said: Its infatuation right? Eww why marry her? No he's in love with her. That is why he will try to marry her if she will have him. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fresh_Start Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 (edited) 29 minutes ago, MalBA said: I just want to know if I was replaced or she was a replacement? Again, it wouldn't matter if you'd actually moved on. Rather than driving yourself nuts asking these types of questions you should start focusing on what you can do for yourself to move forward so that you don't have to be asking them. Your relationship with your ex has run its course and he has moved on to a new relationship. Whether it's a rebound, a replacement, or he's so smitten with her he's already thinking about proposing to her is not relevant to you and your current situation. There is nothing you can do to change it, but there are plenty of things you can do to change your thoughts about it. Physical exercise and activity can be a welcome distraction that boosts your endorphins to promote a better overall sense of wellbeing and positivity. You can also write about your feelings and frustrations in a journal, as poetry, etc. Immerse yourself in an existing hobby that you're currently putting off or find a new one to also preoccupy your thoughts so that you aren't spending so much time perseverating about your ex and his new girlfriend. Talk to friends, talk to family members, talk to yourself or to anyone else whom you feel comfortable expressing your thoughts, feelings, and emotions to. The list could go on. The point is, there are a lot of things you can be doing to generate some forward momentum in your own life and redirect your thoughts elsewhere until you've put all of this behind you and can move on to a relationship of your own. Edited August 2, 2020 by Fresh_Start 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 You may have had him for 4 years but that is in the past. She has him now & for the foreseeable future. If she marries him, what does that make your 4 years of dating? Not much by comparison. Losing him doesn't mean you are a bad or lesser person. It just means he's not your future. Your true love is still out there but you won't find him if you stay focused on your EX & his new GF 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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