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ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend?


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His new relationship is not a popularity contest.  The only vote that counts is his & he likes his new GF.  That is why he is dating her & calling her pet names.  

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Are you the same person as the user June2017 posting from another account from the point of view of the girlfriend? The circumstances you guys met, the old/new old girl, the political causes, description of being good-looking, down to the nitpicking of meaning behind having met family (specifically younger brother) and adding each other on Facebook. Even the way you obsess for answers on specific points from posters is very similar.

If not, it sounds like there's another guy on this forum frequently making threads about his situation which you should check out. The responses on those threads could possibly be helpful to you too.

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ExpatInItaly
3 hours ago, assertives said:

Are you the same person as the user June2017 posting from another account from the point of view of the girlfriend? The circumstances you guys met, the old/new old girl, the political causes, description of being good-looking, down to the nitpicking of meaning behind having met family (specifically younger brother) and adding each other on Facebook. Even the way you obsess for answers on specific points from posters is very similar.

If not, it sounds like there's another guy on this forum frequently making threads about his situation which you should check out. The responses on those threads could possibly be helpful to you too.

That's precisely why I asked a question about the political causes. The two threads are quite similar. 

 

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On 8/4/2020 at 2:08 AM, d0nnivain said:

His new relationship is not a popularity contest.  The only vote that counts is his & he likes his new GF.  That is why he is dating her & calling her pet names.  

What do you mean by pet names? His gf is 28/29. Pet names for that old?

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3 minutes ago, MalBA said:

What do you mean by pet names? His gf is 28/29. Pet names for that old?

Pet names at any age. Just because you were not important to him and it was just a filler relationship you both agreed to, doesn't mean you can't move on and be happy with someone who does care about you 

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21 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Pet names at any age. Just because you were not important to him and it was just a filler relationship you both agreed to, doesn't mean you can't move on and be happy with someone who does care about you 

Filler relationship?

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4 hours ago, MalBA said:

What do you mean by pet names? His gf is 28/29. Pet names for that old?

You posted that he calls her venus & moon.  I am labeling those as "pet names."  

Terms of endearment do not have an age limit.  

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11 hours ago, d0nnivain said:

You posted that he calls her venus & moon.  I am labeling those as "pet names."  

Terms of endearment do not have an age limit.  

But they have? Shes literally a cougar. A 25 year old and a 29 year old and calling moon venus sounds weird.

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Why should he worry about you?

Once he's done with the "cougar" you will be waiting to welcome him back.

It's called cake eating.

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20 hours ago, MalBA said:

Filler relationship?

A filler relationship  is one where a person enters into a relationship with no intention of really taking it further. 

It can be a "proper" relationship,  like any other gf/bf, it may be a live in arrangement too, but the difference being that they really do not see any long term future.
It is a relationship that suits them for the moment, and fills in the time before they feel the need to start looking for "the one" and settle down.
Mr or Miss RightNow as opposed to Mr/Miss Right...

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ExpatInItaly
5 hours ago, MalBA said:

But they have? Shes literally a cougar. A 25 year old and a 29 year old and calling moon venus sounds weird.

 Do you know what the term cougar actually means?

A woman in her 20s dating a guy in his 20s isn't it. 

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8 hours ago, MalBA said:

But they have? Shes literally a cougar. A 25 year old and a 29 year old and calling moon venus sounds weird.

 

3 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

 Do you know what the term cougar actually means?

A woman in her 20s dating a guy in his 20s isn't it. 

What will you say when she turns 30? She's already 29

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4 hours ago, elaine567 said:

A filler relationship  is one where a person enters into a relationship with no intention of really taking it further. 

It can be a "proper" relationship,  like any other gf/bf, it may be a live in arrangement too, but the difference being that they really do not see any long term future.
It is a relationship that suits them for the moment, and fills in the time before they feel the need to start looking for "the one" and settle down.
Mr or Miss RightNow as opposed to Mr/Miss Right...

no intention of taking it further but meeting family?

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ExpatInItaly
12 minutes ago, MalBA said:

What will you say when she turns 30? She's already 29

Nowhere near cougar territory. 

You need to find something more constructive to do with yourself than stew over this woman.

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48 minutes ago, MalBA said:

no intention of taking it further but meeting family?

Yes, the whole bf/gf experience including meeting family, friends etc., but they already know that this is not for life, it is only a stopgap.
 

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1 hour ago, MalBA said:

no intention of taking it further but meeting family?

Why are you so obsessed with this and why won't you let it go?  Your relationship with him is over.  You don't have to like his new relationship.  Your opinion of them literally doesn't matter now.  You need to get a hobby, find something else to do.  

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12 hours ago, MalBA said:

But they have? Shes literally a cougar. A 25 year old and a 29 year old and calling moon venus sounds weird.

No she is not.  To be a cougar the older woman has to be a generation older then her young cub BF, meaning she needs to be old enough to be his mother.  There is a 4 year age gap between them.  Even when she turns 30, he will turn 26.  No where near cougar.  

While the calling of moon & venus sounds weird to you, it doesn't matter.  It sounds romantic to them.  They are free to structure their relationship any way they want.  You are not  part of their romance so it doesn't matter if you think it sounds weird.  Lots of people have pet names that sound odd to outsiders.  The names my husband & I call each other are ridiculous but they make us happy.  

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After going through this thread....there is no mention of "love" or being "in love", "we were in love" or the BF told OP he was in love with her. Sounds to me it was FWB, like I had said before...you hung out, got along and had sex. The definition of FWB varies from situation to situation. Some keep it very casual, while others act like BF/GF.

Edited by smackie9
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It doesn't matter if they were BF/GF or just FWB.  They had some type of interaction that included sex but it's over now.  The end of their interaction is the only important thing & the part that the OP doesn't seem to grasp.  

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1 hour ago, d0nnivain said:

The end of their interaction is the only important thing

Yes, it doesn't matter if he is now dating a guy, a granny or a gorilla
That is HIS choice and no amount of thinking it is wrong or it isn't fair or he shouldn't be doing that, will make one whit of a difference.

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He isn't coming back... and at the end of the day, that is "what is" here. "What you wish it would be" is out past the Oort Cloud.

Google it.

Edited by kendahke
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20 hours ago, elaine567 said:

Yes, the whole bf/gf experience including meeting family, friends etc., but they already know that this is not for life, it is only a stopgap.
 

How is this stop gap?

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17 hours ago, smackie9 said:

After going through this thread....there is no mention of "love" or being "in love", "we were in love" or the BF told OP he was in love with her. Sounds to me it was FWB, like I had said before...you hung out, got along and had sex. The definition of FWB varies from situation to situation. Some keep it very casual, while others act like BF/GF.

We always wrote love you 

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