ExpatInItaly Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 Just now, MalBA said: I still think its only coz of looks because they didn't know each other when they first met. Unlike us , they were strangers who saw each other and got infatuated right after seeing one another? Again, you are welcome to think whatever you want. You aren't campaigning here and won't benefit from convincing anyone that you are right. You would be better served by understanding why you are fixated on this, and how to let it go. What they do or don't do is not your concern. Maybe you need to look into getting some new hobbies? New friends? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 Just now, MalBA said: I feel replaced because I thought she was my rebound or replacement And???? I'm sorry you feel that way but what does it matter? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MalBA Posted August 2, 2020 Author Share Posted August 2, 2020 1 minute ago, Redhead14 said: And???? I'm sorry you feel that way but what does it matter? Because now I feel I'm the replacement? Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 1 minute ago, MalBA said: I mean he came along with his brother to meet me and we add each other so I thought its legit? There's more to it than that. How old are you? It seems to me that you need a little more dating experience under your belt and wisdom. Take this as a learning experience and just move on. When you meet a guy who is truly invested in you and in love with you, you will know it. I think with this guy you were making love out of nothing at all. You two were about a step above FWB, I'd say. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 1 minute ago, MalBA said: Because now I feel I'm the replacement? You were the placeholder until he could be with her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 4 minutes ago, MalBA said: Because now I feel I'm the replacement? Posters here have weighed in on this question already, OP. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MalBA Posted August 2, 2020 Author Share Posted August 2, 2020 10 minutes ago, Redhead14 said: There's more to it than that. How old are you? It seems to me that you need a little more dating experience under your belt and wisdom. Take this as a learning experience and just move on. When you meet a guy who is truly invested in you and in love with you, you will know it. I think with this guy you were making love out of nothing at all. You two were about a step above FWB, I'd say. I'm 22. Why would you say that step above fwb? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MalBA Posted August 2, 2020 Author Share Posted August 2, 2020 10 minutes ago, Redhead14 said: You were the placeholder until he could be with her. but why date me in the first place? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 I think you were the friend turned long distance friend with benefits. You said your relationship was mainly sexual and the emotional attachment was poor, your communication consisted of sexting and sending nudes... Men like that, but they don't often want to get serious in relationship where sex is almost the be all and end all. You were obsessed with sex, and how hot he was, but you neglected the rest of what makes a relationship, and forgot to take any notice of his long term crush. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 Just now, MalBA said: but why date me in the first place? Because he wants sex and someone to be with at least until that happens. You think he would be a hermit if he can't have the woman he loves? He wants to live life in spite of her not being around. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 2 minutes ago, MalBA said: I'm 22. Oh, boy. You have a lot to learn, Sweetie Way more than my watch can accommodate. Move on from this guy. Stop obsessing and face facts. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 You & this guy were friends. Then you dated. While you were together it sounds like he was a good BF-- you had common interests, friends & a great sex life. Then you broke up. You had fun but it's over. He has now moved on & has a new GF. You may not understand how he can have a GF so different from you but you don't have to understand. Frankly it's none of your business. You are his EX GF & your opinion about his life no longer matters. Whether what they share is superficial & based only on looks or if it's the beginning of happily ever after, it's about them not you. Stop obsessing about it. Yes, you still have friends in common but that just means you need to work harder to avoid them. Do yourself a favor block him on all social media & tell your mutual friends you are not interested in talking about them. Live your life. You are only 22; your future awaits. This is guy is your past. Accept that & move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 16 hours ago, MalBA said: No ironically she is poc, brown. What is " poc brown". Are they from the same country, culture or language? Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 1 minute ago, Wiseman2 said: What is " poc brown". poc - person of colour. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 How old was the "boyfriend"? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MalBA Posted August 2, 2020 Author Share Posted August 2, 2020 10 minutes ago, elaine567 said: I think you were the friend turned long distance friend with benefits. You said your relationship was mainly sexual and the emotional attachment was poor, your communication consisted of sexting and sending nudes... Men like that, but they don't often want to get serious in relationship where sex is almost the be all and end all. You were obsessed with sex, and how hot he was, but you neglected the rest of what makes a relationship, and forgot to take any notice of his long term crush. Our communication also included friends, politics, social justice etc Link to post Share on other sites
Author MalBA Posted August 2, 2020 Author Share Posted August 2, 2020 (edited) 1 minute ago, Redhead14 said: How old was the "boyfriend"? he was 25 when we broke up. Met his now gf at 21 though. But also knew me since he was 21. I will be turning 23. Edited August 2, 2020 by MalBA Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 Just now, MalBA said: Our communication also included friends, politics, social justice etc Ok but it wasn't enough. What was the "ugly fight" about? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author MalBA Posted August 2, 2020 Author Share Posted August 2, 2020 11 minutes ago, Redhead14 said: Because he wants sex and someone to be with at least until that happens. You think he would be a hermit if he can't have the woman he loves? He wants to live life in spite of her not being around. but wouldn't he think his relationship could escalate into serious if he dates? Link to post Share on other sites
Author MalBA Posted August 2, 2020 Author Share Posted August 2, 2020 Just now, elaine567 said: Ok but it wasn't enough. What was the "ugly fight" about? argument over not listening to what the other person has to say. We both had this issue. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 Just now, MalBA said: Our communication also included friends, politics, social justice etc Typical for any students, but he's into her romantically now, so that also includes sexual and other connections 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 1 minute ago, MalBA said: he was 25 when we broke up. Met his now gf at 21 though. But also knew me since he was 21. I will be turning 23. LOL. You ain't seen nothing yet as far as dating goes. Please do yourself a favor and find something to do to keep your mind of things. You'll feel better. I'm out. All the best to you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 8 hours ago, MalBA said: how can you say I was a place holder? He himself chose me after his issue with her? He could seldom speak to her on his own while with me hw was comfortable. His friend told me how he would get blank and stare at her hopefully , waiting for a chat. And she has asked him out again which is how he got together. I dont get it. Can't even talk properly but place holder? The reason he could barely talk around her was because he's so smitten and anxious in her presence that his mind won't think. He was more comfortable with you because his feelings were more casual and he wasn't trying to impress you. This girls sounds like his dream girl and if she agrees I wouldn't be surprised if he married her. 1 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 1 minute ago, stillafool said: This girls sounds like his dream girl and if she agrees I wouldn't be surprised if he married her. Nor would I, he is 25, she is 25, he is highly attracted and has been since 2016, she also motivates him to be better, perfect wife material. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 2, 2020 Share Posted August 2, 2020 12 minutes ago, MalBA said: he was 25 when we broke up. Met his now gf at 21 though. Sorry to hear that. He's had a crush on her for a long time. Link to post Share on other sites
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