Starrrrynight Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 I'm not sure if this was the appropriate topic or if this is suppose to go in the divorce section. I have been divorced since 2015. Then a year later my ex took me back to mediation over our then almost 5 year old child. He wanted just weekends and ended up with every other weekend, alternating breaks and holidays and then every other week during the summer. I was advised to give him the maximum time possible. We live in two different counties, 40 minutes apart. Nothing has changed since mediation in 2016 except that we both have remarried and each had another child. Work schedules haven't changed. He has now decided that he wants all year, alternating weeks. Claims that he can drive the 40 minutes to get our son to school every day even though during the last mediation that was something he absolutely refused to do. He said it was too hard. Before then he only had himself and our son to worry about. Now he has 3 more kids to juggle not including our son. So he's saying he can get them all to school in his hometown and also drive our son to school 40 minutes away. Also, our son's school start time is 7:45am. He has a history of threatening court whenever he doesn't get his way on something. Or just wants to fight. His parents have money so he likes to use the court system like that. Last time l asked him to pay his share of the medical Bill's and he threatened to prevent me from taking our son to the doctor at all, by exercising his right to equal " medical decision making". So he never paid. Anyway, I feel like there hasn't been a material change for him to start mediation again. And even so, there's nothing to change because he lives so far away it would be burdensome on our son to attend school and his other after school programs during the weeks he would be at his dad's house. Anyone else dealt with this? Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 You've mentioned nothing here which would be grounds for not giving your ex equal custody. 40 mins sitting chatting with his dad while travelling to and from school is hardly 'burdensome'. Rather, it could well be a good time to connect 1:1. Yes, your son would have to get out of bed at 6:15 or 6:30 but he's hardly the only student who gets up at this time. And plenty of parents have more than one child to get ready for school. I would also advise that you discuss and come to an agreement about your son's medical concerns. Decide on a split for costs and and come to an agreement on which issues a parent should be able make a decision on with the doctor's advice and which issues should be a shared decision. Or agree on a doctor who you both trust and you both do what the doctor says. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Starrrrynight Posted August 4, 2020 Author Share Posted August 4, 2020 I would be more willing to agree to him takin him to school more often if he wasn't late to school on the one day a week his dad takes him. Also, they were refusing to allow our son to do his homework at their home. As far as the medical decisions, his dad has no problem with him going to the doctor for a sick visit as long as I don't ask for payment for his share. Otherwise, he said that he will not allow me to take him to get medical treatment at all. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 All these issues should be raised in mediation as things you're concerned about. Hopefully the mediator can help you find resolution which keeps you both happy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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