Erica_2 Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 (edited) Hi, I have two Male best friends who are in a relationship together. I’ve considered these my close friends, they are protective of me and look after me and I love them dearly. Ive been with my boyfriend for 3 years, my boyfriend has no problem with my two fiends and tries to get along with them when they all meet. Each time has been out drinking mainly. Two years ago we were at a party of a friend and my boyfriend asked me if he could meet his brother for a drink, the party had been on a while and it was in a tiny flat where he didn’t really know anybody. My friends have since told me that they thought he should have done what I wanted to do, rather than leave the party to meet his brother. At the party, my bf said to play a song as Hannah (me) likes it. The song gets played and someone asked who wanted it on, one of my two Friends said my bf wanted it on, my bf replied “no I never”. skip to the next occasion a few weeks back. One of the two Male friends asks my bf what part of town he’d most like to live should Me and him move in together soon. I come back from the bathroom and my friend says “joe* says that part of town would be too far” which again my bf replies “no I never”. My boyfriend stated he said that we hadn’t reached a conclusion about what part to live yet. anyway, since then my friend has told me that he felt embarrassed when my boyfriend replied “no I never”. My bf had a drink and I know he didn’t say this to upset my fiends and it wasn’t said in a mean way, it’s drink and he’s forgotten what he’s said. my bf doesn’t do anything to upset me and my friends don’t hear me complain about him or anything he does. It just seems to be getting worse each time they meet, my bf was on his best behaviour the last time we all met and yet something upset my friend. I don’t know if my friends are being too sensitive or harsh on my bf as they’re relationship is far from perfect themselves. my bf is lovely to me, but now my friends seems to dislike him. now my friends won’t let it go, they’ve invited me for a day out this weekend. Them two and another couple, they said they Hope I wasn’t offended, theyre just taking one car and have one space left. i know this is so I can’t bring my bf along. I’ve explained to my bf how horrible I feel about going without him, but he says to go because my fiends are important. I don’t know what to do. we have a great relationship and I adore my bf, but hate the way social events go down with him and my two friends. I now want to keep the two parties separate, as I can’t lose my friends or my bf if I’m happy. Any help for what to do going forward and about this upcoming trip would be massively helpful! Thank you Edited August 4, 2020 by Hannah90 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 Stick up for your BF or your friends will think they can run your life. Take a car with you & your BF to meet your friends where ever they are going this weekend. You don't all have to go in the same car. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Erica_2 Posted August 4, 2020 Author Share Posted August 4, 2020 Thank you, I explained to my fiends that my bf has a drink and had forgotten what he had said. My bf isn’t the brightest tool in the box sometimes! And especially after a drink. me and bf don’t drive, and tbh I don’t want to mix the two parties anymore. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 Don't force them to be together. See your friends alone . You don't need to be joined at the hip if some of your friends don't overlap or get a long. Learn to live your own lives with your own friends and interests. This way no one "has to" try to get along for your sake and you won't be putting yourself in the middle of drama or conflict. Enjoy your friends. They do no have to like your bf and your bf doesn't have to like them.. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 Then don't mix them. Skip this event with your friends & spend time with your BF, hopefully sober Link to post Share on other sites
Author Erica_2 Posted August 4, 2020 Author Share Posted August 4, 2020 (edited) 7 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Don't force them to be together. See your friends alone . You don't need to be joined at the hip if some of your friends don't overlap or get a long. Learn to live your own lives with your own friends and interests. This way no one "has to" try to get along for your sake and you won't be putting yourself in the middle of drama or conflict. Enjoy your friends. They do no have to like your bf and your bf doesn't have to like them.. Thank you, I totally agree with you. I just feel a disloyalty going with my friends on this trip when my boyfriend hasn’t been invited or is intentionally being excluded. On the other hand, I don’t want to lose my friends and not enjoy this day out with them. I know that if anything happened down the line for instance we split up, then my two friends would be who I turn to. Edited August 4, 2020 by Hannah90 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 4, 2020 Share Posted August 4, 2020 1 minute ago, Hannah90 said: Thank you, I totally agree with you. I just feel a disloyalty going with my friends on this trip when my boyfriend hasn’t been invited or is intentionally being excluded. On the other hand, I don’t want to lose my friends and not enjoy this day out with them. I know that if anything happened between me and boyfriend then my two friends would be who I turn to. If you want to keep them apart do so but I would not attend anything where your BF is not welcome. Your choice to keep them apart is yours. You would be a disloyal GF to ditch your BF for two men who didn't like him & intentionally excluded him Link to post Share on other sites
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