Sexually abused by older sister

[log7]

My older sister sexually abused me when we were children. She was 7. I was only 4. It ended when she was 10 or 11. It ended when I was 7 or 8. She inappropriately touched me once a week. I told her to stop, she didn't listen. I was going to tell me, but she told me not to, fearing Mom won't believe me. I learned that she too was abused. This is making sick in my stomach. I hate myself for it. I'm lost and confused. I don't know what to do.  What should I do?

[Wiseman2]

Sorry to hear that. How old are you now? You need to talk to a trusted adult. A relative, teacher, doctor.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Your story is far more common than you can imagine.

 

And (somehow, your understanding  should evolve to include)

"of course"  a sister of the ages you described who sexually abused a younger sibling  was herself  sexually abused.

 

(that is essentially the only way  such a young person would learn to do such things)

 

(*** pause right here for the one or two clowns on LS who are sure to claim that they knew all about porn and sexuality at age 6, yet without they themselves having been sexually abused)

 

 

 

We can't tell what age you are now...    but it is quite normal that the effects OF the abuse you endured may show in your own sexual interests throughout later life...

 

Can't even tell whether you're male, or female...        but some of the effects could include a female attracted to other females because of this abuse, or a younger male attracted to older females romantically because of this abuse.

No matter in what way it understandably/visibly plays-out...  it is NOT "wrong" in any way.

(*** but you're not going to accept the words of some troll on the internet (that, too, understandably)...  SO it would be awesome if you could avail yourself of some therapy, to hear the same things/understandings from a professional)

 

IF you happen to be in high school...   GO to a  counselor to talk... be brave... and bring it up!

 

IF you happen to be in college...    Student Health Services  should have available people (when campus is open, I mean) who can provide therapy.

 

At the bottom line is merely better self-understanding  in a scenario where NOTHING that YOU did (or felt) was wrong.   (ultimately that last part is what you most need to {hear from persons you fully believe/understand}  )

 

 

[major_merrick]

I feel for you!

It is so often the case that those who were abused act out against their closest relatives.  My younger sister drugged me and tried to have sex with me last year, and I'm still dealing with it.  You are not alone! 

If you feel like talking about it, find someone you can confide in.  Maybe a professional, maybe just a friend.  If you don't feel like talking about it, that's OK too.  Not everybody handles issues like this in the same way.  Don't let others pressure you into a specific method of handling it, because that can actually increase the pain. 

[CautiouslyOptimistic]

1 hour ago, major_merrick said:

It is so often the case that those who were abused act out against their closest relatives. 

My sister and I were "abused" (mostly attempted....repeatedly and predator-ally) when we were young by an older cousin.  It was only about 8 years ago (when we were in our early forties) that we found out for the first time that he had been sent to some sort of experimental "program" through a university research project when he was like 3 or 4 for a few years (so this would have been in the mid to late sixties).  This was based on his lack of speech at that age.  When my uncle told us about this 8 years ago, he explained it with extreme regret and confusion -- like why the hell did we even agree to that?  (he doesn't know about the abuse we experienced).  Family secrets and dysfunctional communication aside, who knows what happened to my cousin while he was there unsupervised by his parents for at least two years, maybe more.

Edited August 7, 2020 by CautiouslyOptimistic