He can't write me a recommendation

[mortensorchid]

I got a very strange response today from a guy who I had used as a reference for the last few years.  We had met when we were on an adult literacy organization fundraising committee, he was the chairman of the event as well as on the board of the organization.  I was on the committee myself for about five years, brought in some new clients / contacts for them in their basket / silent auction, then decided the time had come for me to move onto something different.  I asked him if he would be a job reference for me, he said sure.  I would send him a shout out when I was applying for a new position / job with organizations.  I am looking to get onto another school district's substitute list, and I wrote him an email through his regular contact email that I was looking for another reference.  I also contacted him for another business venture looking for a sponsor for a local theater company.  He said he would forward that to this other woman.  Today when I wrote him an email asking if he would write a recommendation for this substitute teaching gig, I got a response from someone at the adult literacy organization saying that he no longer worked there.  I wrote back to that woman saying "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't know that."  He and I are Facebook friends, so I wrote him an IM through there.  He wrote back to me that he and 12 others were laid off from the organization thanks to the virus shutdown.  I wrote him back through Facebook saying I didn't know that, did he have another email address where I could send the information to/from?  He then wrote back saying that he may or may not rejoin that adult literacy organization, but he can't do a recommendation at this point, sorry.  I said I was sorry to hear that, but hoped he would find something else in the meantime or move onto something else completely different between now and then.  He said he's learning Spanish, doing a lot of reading, and keeping busy, take care.

I read that as he is telling me good-bye.  Am I wrong?  

[d0nnivain]

He's probably flailing around in his own life & stressed over money.  He may not have the emotional bandwidth to help you right now.  

I don't think it's good bye but it's definitely not now.  

Sorry. 

[Caauug]

On 8/6/2020 at 2:51 AM, mortensorchid said:

I asked him if he would be a job reference for me, he said sure.

When writing a job reference it carries more weight with the author's title. i.e.: Chairman. He's unemployed now with no return date and looking elsewhere for employment. It would be misleading for him to put a title of chairman on a reference with a current date. 

In the past when I have been a supervisor and the workplace was nearing closure I have written references out for the employees or contractors that have requested them. I have never done so when I am unemployed. Written references I find are rare here, more chance of a phone interview.

In Australia, references are on the decline as you can no longer give a bad one. If they were dumb enough to use your name and number for a referee and you did not think they were good, all you can say in the interview is "No comment". I always prod the interviewer to ask "Would you hire him/her again?" That question is about me and I can answer that truthfully. 

[Dork Vader]

On 8/27/2020 at 4:47 AM, Caauug said:

When writing a job reference it carries more weight with the author's title. i.e.: Chairman. He's unemployed now with no return date and looking elsewhere for employment. It would be misleading for him to put a title of chairman on a reference with a current date. 

In the past when I have been a supervisor and the workplace was nearing closure I have written references out for the employees or contractors that have requested them. I have never done so when I am unemployed. Written references I find are rare here, more chance of a phone interview.

In Australia, references are on the decline as you can no longer give a bad one. If they were dumb enough to use your name and number for a referee and you did not think they were good, all you can say in the interview is "No comment". I always prod the interviewer to ask "Would you hire him/her again?" That question is about me and I can answer that truthfully. 

Similar thing in the US. I don't even look at references anymore, they hold 0 value. Previous employers or contacts can't be honest without the risk of getting sued. They can't even say I would not hire that person again. I won't even decline to write one anymore out of fear of lawsuits. So no matter who asks I give them a glowing review. The headaches involved with declining to write one or writing an honest one just are not worth it. 

Sure people say you can do this or that, but anyone can attempt to sue you for anything no matter how meritless the litigation might be. You ultimately have to pay for your defense in court, even if you win you'll still spend tens of thousands if not hundreds of thousands on legal defense. Just not worth the risk. 

I do not hire direct anymore. Everyone I bring on is through a temp. agency, they stay with the temp service for at least a year so I can gauge whether or not they'll work out. If things look great at a year I consider bringing them on as an employee of mine. When it's through a temp. agency I can let them go at anytime for any reason and face 0 liability.