Fletch Lives Posted August 17, 2020 Share Posted August 17, 2020 When you go away to work long distance - long distance relationships are bad news and promote breakups and cheating. You have to tell her that if she ever cheats again you'll leave. You will have to see if you can get over it - it will take time, perhaps a year or more - and she'll have to put up with your grumpy attitude...she made you that way.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
justbrowsing85 Posted August 17, 2020 Share Posted August 17, 2020 my goodness. i agree with another posted about not having another kid with her. the kid, in her view, will be a man made prison designed to keep her in this marriage. she will only resent you more as time passes. her faithfulness doesn't grow linearly with the number of children you two have or going to have. think long and hard not only about having another kid with your WW but the marriage. if she doesn't know why she strayed, how can she prevent herself from straying again. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted August 19, 2020 Share Posted August 19, 2020 Great story, you should be a cuckold writer. If this is true whatever floats your boat. No way in hell could or would I stay with someone that could do this to me. She doesn’t love you. No one could do what she has and love someone else. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Buffer Posted August 19, 2020 Share Posted August 19, 2020 There is no love here from her to you. You are her fall back guy. Brother no one wants to be a back plan B. She has a history of cheating long term. If things are that bad then why couldn't she travel for a week or two to see you? Too busy? Nah sorry what is going to stop her contacting her BF when you fly back to work? The issue of having another child is a manipulative tool to keep you on the books. Once you are checked for STDs and STIs, speak to a lawyer in you country of residence and have her served at work for infidelity. I am not sure I may have missed it but have you had a DNA check on your child? Also has he addressed why she finds it so easy to cheat, is she seeking IC for her issues of lack of being in a monogamist relationship when you have nop problem keeping Mr Happy in check when separated. One day at a time Buffer Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jazz_lost Posted August 21, 2020 Author Share Posted August 21, 2020 Update: She is moving back to me along with the kid. She has made all the arrangements regarding selling of house, car and other stuff. She has even given resignation letter to her job place. She is coming to my place in September. She has told me, I made mistakes in my life for which I’m remorseful and now I want to amend them by staying and caring you by my side. Now guys, what is your take on this ? Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted August 21, 2020 Share Posted August 21, 2020 This is your call. In my humble opinion if you take her back she will find a new lover where you are now when she thinks the scrutiny has lost focus. I'm am positive that for short period of time you can look forward to lots of sex. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Crazelnut Posted August 21, 2020 Share Posted August 21, 2020 This is only step 1. She has a LOT more work to do. If I were you, I wouldn't trust her yet, if ever. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Caauug Posted August 27, 2020 Share Posted August 27, 2020 On 8/6/2020 at 4:58 PM, Jazz_lost said: I went to the other room and turned the laptop as I had left the recording on before giving to her(can’t confront without proof). Out of curosity when I played it, she mentioned that my husband does’nt know That I travelled and had sex with you. After listening to this I felt my soul left me. So, i confronted her and she apologized and said won’t happen again. I forgave her and moved on. That was easy for her..... On 8/6/2020 at 4:58 PM, Jazz_lost said: She had told him that she was single mom. They were in affair from May 2018-June2020(i’m astonished how she hid it) They had sex alot during these times. She used pregnancy coil nov-2018-dec2019. She found how easy it was the first affair so you should expect more. She must be a hot looker as you let her walk all over you. It wasn't good leaving her behind in another country and expecting her to be faithful. On 8/6/2020 at 6:15 PM, Jazz_lost said: i forgot to tell one thing. During both confront situations she told me that please don’t tell this to your parents or mine. I’m having these secrets and haven’t shared with anyone. She doesn't want to loose face with family. Having to deal with you with these "Situations" is more than enough bother.... Why compound it and family might not forget as fast as you do? On 8/18/2020 at 2:53 AM, Jazz_lost said: -The only thing that bothers me is that she told me you want more kids but I don’t. As another kid will make your mind satisfied and at peace that i’m with you. Even if she is willing to go all through this for 9 months Is their any hidden agenda? I cannot even imagine if someone can have a hidden motive behind it. Is it because I have told her that it will make us closer or maybe she really doesn’t want more kids(am i forcing her for more kids). Am i overthinking too much? -Guys don’t worry about dad stuff the kid is gonna be mine. She has also gone through medical examination and everything is fine. This is really scary!!! Your marriage is in shambles and you are talking about more kids?? What would ever lead you to believe it would be your child? You are just a meal ticket for her and her child. Take away the money (or limit her spending or your income) and she will filing for divorce within a few months. She likes the status of being married to a doctor but does not respect you. You are a weak man and she knows how to manipulate you. You have taught her she can root who ever she wants, when caught out she only has to cry and say sorry and all is good.....until the next time... You are a cuckold. If you think I am wrong with the above paragraph? Limit her money she gets from you. Only give her and her child enough to live on including her wage in IT company. When she sells the car/house (if it gets that far) move that money out of her reach.... I think you will find out very quickly your only purpose is your money. Her love/lust is for whoever is pumping her full of sperm this week. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 27, 2020 Share Posted August 27, 2020 She cheated before when you were under the same roof. Being in the same location doesn't mitigate the risk in your case. Having another child doesn't either. You should expect that she will do this again, OP. Maybe not for a while, since she doesn't want to lose her support system (you), but when she thinks you're not looking over her shoulder all the time, when she thinks that you've relaxed your guard? That's when it will happen again. Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 Your not really taking her back?!?!?! Well if you do, can’t wait for the next installment of her cheating ways. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
WilyWill Posted September 1, 2020 Share Posted September 1, 2020 On 8/21/2020 at 6:56 AM, Jazz_lost said: he has told me, I made mistakes in my life for which I’m remorseful and now I want to amend them by staying and caring you by my side. Now guys, what is your take on this ? My take is that this is the same thing she told you in 2015. It wasn't true then, and it's not true now. Do not have another child with this woman. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jazz_lost Posted September 17, 2020 Author Share Posted September 17, 2020 Update: Guys I took time to process everything and understood in depth her thoughts. Even she has made her mind to come and stay with me keeping everything behind along with the kid. Use my IT skills and my resources I manage to get her call records and I found out that she called him daily till date. Today I asked in a way that everything is Ok and did he ever contacted you or likewise. She just said everything is finished between us and we don’t have contact anymore. I had those records in front of me, Oh My God, can’t believe she was so confident in hiding. My hope of continuing this marriage is on brink of divorce now. God why can a person just not stay sincere in relation. If not why just not tell that I don’t want this relation any further. Why on earth lie and continue on face. Today I’m telling you guys hope is lost. Feeling so s*** right now. Oh my God, why? Mental trauma of those lies are eating me within. I’m thinking of telling my brother everything she has done, I need to vent out. 11 years and this is what you get- emotional, physical and mental trauma. My fingers are trembling but I need to move ahead. Fill me in guys. I have all the evidences of her infidelity i.e., pics, audios, e-mails, msgs. Should I share everything directly to her parents? Or first I should show it to my brother and then proceed further. Broken from core of my heart. Suggestions please! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 1 hour ago, Jazz_lost said: Update: Guys I took time to process everything and understood in depth her thoughts. Even she has made her mind to come and stay with me keeping everything behind along with the kid. Use my IT skills and my resources I manage to get her call records and I found out that she called him daily till date. Today I asked in a way that everything is Ok and did he ever contacted you or likewise. She just said everything is finished between us and we don’t have contact anymore. I had those records in front of me, Oh My God, can’t believe she was so confident in hiding. My hope of continuing this marriage is on brink of divorce now. God why can a person just not stay sincere in relation. If not why just not tell that I don’t want this relation any further. Why on earth lie and continue on face. Today I’m telling you guys hope is lost. Feeling so s*** right now. Oh my God, why? Mental trauma of those lies are eating me within. I’m thinking of telling my brother everything she has done, I need to vent out. 11 years and this is what you get- emotional, physical and mental trauma. My fingers are trembling but I need to move ahead. Fill me in guys. I have all the evidences of her infidelity i.e., pics, audios, e-mails, msgs. Should I share everything directly to her parents? Or first I should show it to my brother and then proceed further. Broken from core of my heart. Suggestions please! Two ways to handle this. You expose her and "maybe" get great satisfaction with your revenge. The other way is to use the threat of exposure to get her to cooperate in a quick divorce that is in your favor. You probably want the first but I suggest the second as a better option. Sorry you are at this point. Make a decisive decision and you feel much better when you drop out of Limbo. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Crazelnut Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 How can you even entertain the thought of not divorcing her? She lied to you repeatedly. You will never trust her again or be happy with her. Just file and tell her parents that she cheated on you. No need to drag out pics and video. As long as SHE knows you have them, she won't fight you on it. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 I'm sorry that this has all come crashing down but better you learn now then after you have another child with her or worse raise the other guy's child thinking it is yours. Do talk to your brother. You need an outlet. But now after you take a few days to process get moving on the divorce. You know you can't trust her. Link to post Share on other sites
Milly May June Posted September 17, 2020 Share Posted September 17, 2020 I am so sorry this is happening to you. There is a great site called survivinginfidelity.com Check it out and post there. You will get good advice and great support on how to get out of infidelity no matter what road you choose to take (divorce or reconsiliation). People on that site are very helpful and have walked in your shoes. They Will give you great advice. Learn from them. One thing is clear. Your wife is in an active affair. She is a proven serial cheater. EXpose her to all and find support for your self from family and friends, talk to a lawyer to learn your rights, do the 180 to detach emotionally and most importantly eat well and drink lots of water. If the OM is married, let his wife know. Best of luck to you! Link to post Share on other sites
WilyWill Posted September 18, 2020 Share Posted September 18, 2020 One thing is certain: if you confront her with the call logs she'll say "I've made some mistakes but I'm finally ready to dedicate myself to you..." etc. I think this would be the third or fourth time she's promised this. I agree with the advice given by @schlumpy above. Tell her you want a clean, fair divorce where you don't have to reveal her behavior to her parents. Link to post Share on other sites
oldtruck Posted October 3, 2020 Share Posted October 3, 2020 paternity test your child expose the affair to her family and yours divorce her she has shown that she is a serial cheater that is incapable of change 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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