Faded by a woman I really liked. Was it the distance or bad timing?

[goodlife88]

There's this amazing woman whom I have gone out with a few times -- simply the best I've met. We got along well, have many similarities, share philosophies and perspectives. Everything had been going extremely well, until one day, she abruptly started responding less, to the point that it seemed she was trying to cut communication and fade. She eventually said she just wanted to be friends.

I asked her why but she wouldn't elaborate. However, I think we've met under unfortunate timing:

- We live in different continents and the few times we've met are during annual work trip.

- During that same time, she was let go from her job and has had a difficult time looking for another one.

Do you think these could be the trigger for her? I truly like her and a part of me really hope that one day I'll have a chance to get to know her again, if we somehow end up in the same place and if circumstances are better.

[Wiseman2]

8 minutes ago, goodlife88 said:

- We live in different continents and the few times we've met are during annual work trip.

Let it go. This alone is a great reason to let this fade out so you can meet local women. Are either of you already in other relationships?

[mark clemson]

7 hours ago, goodlife88 said:

Do you think these could be the trigger for her?

Yes, either one or both are reasonable.

Generally speaking, chasing a woman who's not interested (particularly if she had a chance to be with you) is a waste of time. The chance of it "working out" is very low and you can waste months of your life hoping for something to work that simply isn't going to, instead of moving on to a better relationship.

Many women have an easier time finding new partners than men if they really want to, so there's a decent chance she's already with someone else (or working on it), while you are plan B (or C ... or Z) and yet hoping for this to somehow work out. Recommend you recognize and accept the situation  and begin to move on. IF she surprisingly contacts you then there might be some chance. Otherwise, thinking about her is almost certainly just a waste of your time and mental energy and a distraction from finding someone new who's actually available to you.

[Trail Blazer]

You live in different continents?  She's a pipe dream, my friend.  It's time to focus on local women.

[Mystery4u]

From all the times you met how many times were you intimate? If none then that's probably why.

[Trail Blazer]

23 minutes ago, mark clemson said:

Yes, either one or both are reasonable.

Generally speaking, chasing a woman who's not interested (particularly if she had a chance to be with you) is a waste of time. The chance of it "working out" is very low and you can waste months of your life hoping for something to work that simply isn't going to, instead of moving on to a better relationship.

Many women have an easier time finding new partners than men if they really want to, so there's a decent chance she's already with someone else (or working on it), while you are plan B (or C ... or Z) and yet hoping for this to somehow work out. Recommend you recognize and accept the situation  and begin to move on. IF she surprisingly contacts you then there might be some chance. Otherwise, thinking about her is almost certainly just a waste of your time and mental energy and a distraction from finding someone new who's actually available to you.

Exactly this!  Chasing women who aren't interested, or pining for a love lost, is a massive waste of time.  The quicker one moves on, the better he is in the long run.

That Disney/Hollywood illusion of chasing that damsel until she evenutally stops in her tracks and suddenly realizes your worth is utter falsehood.

Women know very quickly if they're attracted to you or not.  My more recent experience has taught me that women know what they want and they (generally) won't sit back and wait.

Conversely, they absolutely know what they don't want, too.  However, they're more subtle in conveying this (i.e. not so blunt), but they really hope you get the hint to save them having to hit you ovet the head to get the message.

Every day wasted wishing for a woman who's not interested in you is another day wasted when it could have been used to attract someone new, someone better, and  someone better suited to you.

[ShyViolet]

I'll never understand why people start up long distance relationships with people who live on another continent.  What kind of future could that relationship really have?  How much effort, not to mention money, would have to be put in to make an arrangement like that work?  Endless hours on the phone..... it just makes no sense.  I don't blame her for ending it.  Why don't you try to find someone who is actually in your area?

[d0nnivain]

Between the distance & her no longer being employed she doesn't have the emotional wherewithal to date right now.  Plus her ego & identity took a hit with the job loss.  She may no longer feel equal to you.  With Covid international dating is even more precarious then ever.  It's unlikely that you can bridge the gap any time soon.  She probably found somebody local