BentOverTheGrass Posted August 9, 2020 Share Posted August 9, 2020 Hey, The guy I exclusively dated for 5 months ended it with me 2 days ago. We had dated intensely had already went for a trip together, met the parent/siblings, friends and all of these "couple" things and had a lot of talks of the future just days before he ended it. He recently lost his grandfather and also went through some economical issues.. and expressed feeling stressed and unhappy. He also found us having some issues like me being sensitive during some minor conflicts made him feel it was too much right now.. But at the same time he wasn't sure If it really was me or just everything else.. I tried to talk and listen, since I thought we could figure it out together and make a plan. But he had made up his mind. Before he decided to just end it I had giving him time (like 2 weeks) and he made sure that I shouldn't worry.. Anyways to not make the story long - When he ended it he said he wasn't sure he made the right decision, we cried, he wanted to keep in touch "talk tomorrow?", I told him I need to delete him from snapchat.. That seemed to make him sad.. When he left and came home he texted me how bad this felt for him and later same night he texted that he wont be able to sleep one bit and sad emoji.. He also sent me a message yesterday that he felt "more confused now than before :(" I later replied and said that I didn't really know how to reply and said so you feel more confused? and he said "I have no f***ing clue of what I am doing right now really " and I replied "you mean it feels wrong..?" which he read last night but haven't replied.. why does he text me these stuff knowing i am hurt and then don't follow?... What should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 9, 2020 Share Posted August 9, 2020 Sorry to hear that. Give yourself the gift of peace and quiet reflection. Stop talking to him. Don't date "confused" people. Stop listening to his self serving drivel. For all you know he found someone else and wants to assuage his guilt. Or just wants to demote you to FWB. People who care about you aren't "confused" or "stressed" . And they certainly don't dump you and then try to make you feel sorry for them 3 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted August 9, 2020 Share Posted August 9, 2020 8 hours ago, BentOverTheGrass said: why does he text me these stuff knowing i am hurt and then don't follow?... because he's using you to help him feel better about ending things with you... he needs to be talking to his boys or to a therapist if he needs help feeling better about ending things with you... it's not fair to you if, as you say, he said he's made up his mind. If he's making it harder for you, tell him to not contact you anymore. If he refuses to do that, you'll have to block him til the sting isn't so intense for you and you can stand to hear him talk about his new girlfriend. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Fox Sake Posted August 9, 2020 Share Posted August 9, 2020 8 hours ago, BentOverTheGrass said: Hey, The guy I exclusively dated for 5 months ended it with me 2 days ago. We had dated intensely had already went for a trip together, met the parent/siblings, friends and all of these "couple" things and had a lot of talks of the future just days before he ended it. He recently lost his grandfather and also went through some economical issues.. and expressed feeling stressed and unhappy. He also found us having some issues like me being sensitive during some minor conflicts made him feel it was too much right now.. But at the same time he wasn't sure If it really was me or just everything else.. I tried to talk and listen, since I thought we could figure it out together and make a plan. But he had made up his mind. Before he decided to just end it I had giving him time (like 2 weeks) and he made sure that I shouldn't worry.. Anyways to not make the story long - When he ended it he said he wasn't sure he made the right decision, we cried, he wanted to keep in touch "talk tomorrow?", I told him I need to delete him from snapchat.. That seemed to make him sad.. When he left and came home he texted me how bad this felt for him and later same night he texted that he wont be able to sleep one bit and sad emoji.. He also sent me a message yesterday that he felt "more confused now than before :(" I later replied and said that I didn't really know how to reply and said so you feel more confused? and he said "I have no f***ing clue of what I am doing right now really " and I replied "you mean it feels wrong..?" which he read last night but haven't replied.. why does he text me these stuff knowing i am hurt and then don't follow?... What should I do? He’s trying to nurse you through the breakup in case he changes his mind and also to appease his own guilt of hurting you. it’s quite a common thing to happen. He doesn’t want to be seen as the bad person. He might not have a clue what he’s doing , but you can show him what he’s lost out on by taking a big chuck of self respect and not contacting this guy. Not giving in to his constructed and guilt ridden texts. Do not allow him to make you feel like this. He left you on read so he’s full of sh*t. I bet he try’s contacting you again with some BS excuse about sorry he didn’t reply but he was depressed bla bla bla. The best thing you can do is be grateful that he ended it now and you found out what a flake he is. Then continue on to be the best version of you that you can be 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted August 10, 2020 Share Posted August 10, 2020 Don't let him play with your emotions while he figures out what he wants. Just leave him alone, give him some time, don't talk to him for a while. If he decides that he really does want to try again with you, he needs to be sure and not still "confused" and not expect you to be his lap dog that will be there waiting for him anytime. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 10, 2020 Share Posted August 10, 2020 What you should do is leave him alone. He's had 2 big life shaking events: death of his grandfather plus economic problems, all in this time of Covid which is making everybody nuts. Your short term relationship wasn't strong enough to withstand all of that. He really doesn't know which way is up right now but you can't be his compass. He's too much of an emotional mess to be a good partner to you. Your connection is too new for you to be of any real help to him. Just let him be. Move on. He has to sort himself out. By the time he does, he will have moved on to a new woman because you will remind him of the bad times. Link to post Share on other sites
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