d0nnivain Posted August 10, 2020 Share Posted August 10, 2020 I never thought you went around doing this. You made it clear from your 1st post that you felt comfortable with him . . .maybe too comfortable. If you genuinely feel you need to apologize do so. This is your life / relationship 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Trail Blazer Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 10 hours ago, ThereSheGoes said: So should I apologize then? I have been groped several times on a first date, and I wasn't trying to make him uncomfortable or make him feel like I was trying to take advantage. Donnivain answered it perfectly. I'd just sit back and let things play out naturally from here. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 Aggressive women often come off as desperate and masculine. It's not assault, it's just a huge turn off for a lot of guys. You can tell him you're usually not like that but don't apologise like he's a victim of assault or anything. It will only add to the appearance of desperation. I know there's a severe shortage of appealing men out there nowadays but if you want to turn one on it's much better to act like you're attracted but can do without him. That he's the one that needs to step up and drive. Rather than grabbing the reins and moving things forward yourself. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 3 minutes ago, gaius said: Aggressive women often come off as desperate and masculine. I don't really think the OP was aggressive or masculine, she seems more like an affectionate puppy... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 If I were a guy and you behaved like you were in heat like that with me, I'd assume you would be that way with any man you barely know. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 11, 2020 Share Posted August 11, 2020 23 hours ago, ThereSheGoes said: I spoke to him yesterday. Did he ask you out again? If not, he's just not that into you so let it go. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThereSheGoes Posted August 13, 2020 Author Share Posted August 13, 2020 On 8/11/2020 at 8:37 AM, Wiseman2 said: Did he ask you out again? If not, he's just not that into you so let it go. No, he didn't. But then again, he wasn't the one who suggested we hang out the first time. I invited him out for a movie the first time, and that fell through because of work, and then the second time I asked if I could just come by and we could chill and watch movies, and he agreed. He's been calling me, and texting first in the morning so far, so.....he's either just friend zoned me, or he wasn't bothered. Lol. Also, just for reference, this man isn't the most assertive. Just as an example, he has free internet through his apartment complex. They tack to bill on to his rent, so he has been paying for it since he's been there. But he needs to call the internet company so they could come out and set it up in his apartment. He hasn't done it because he hates calling customer service and interacting with customer service. So he's just been using the hotspot on his phone. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 13, 2020 Share Posted August 13, 2020 Unfortunately he doesn't seem that interested. Don't make excuses about his assertiveness. If you have to hunt and chase him down, things are too one sided. Your time and energy may be better spent on someone who is more enthusiastic and puts forth more effort. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ZA Dater Posted August 13, 2020 Share Posted August 13, 2020 On 8/9/2020 at 10:24 PM, ThereSheGoes said: Hi Everyone! So, yesterday, I went on two 'dates'. Because they felt more like a meet up to me. Which is fine. The first date: It was at the Boardwalk. It was someone I have been in contact with for about 3 months or so. He seemed like an Okay guy, though appeared flaky, which deterred me from scheduling a meet up. Anyway, I decided to give him a chance. What showed up was not what I was expecting? He turned out to be a Dude-Bro. Aviator glasses and all. I'm not attracted to that whatsoever. He was on his phone a lot, and wasn't talking to me that often. Let alone, showing signs of interest, like touching me or helping me get out of a ride. He did initiate a hug at the end, but....the connection was pretty none existent, and in a sense, I kinda felt like I was alone. We didn't even walk together, he was always lagging behind. He dropped me off at a restaurant, and I ubered home. Haven't heard from him today, and I kinda don't want to. Second guy.......known him for about three weeks. We've been talking every night, from midnight to sun up. So there's a huge connection between us. When I saw him, I just ran to him, lol. We had a great connection in person, did a whole lot of laughing, we were watching movies, listening to music. So I definitely liked him more than I liked the first guy. And he seemed to be more verbally emotive. But now it's the day after, I kinda feel like I was throwing myself at him? I was all over this dude. I was rubbing his chest, rubbing his thigh, stroking his face. I was playing with his hair, I was rubbing his fingers, scratching his back. At one point in time, my head was in his lap, and my hand was up his shirt. I was letting him know, that Hey. I'm attracted to you. Got nothing back. He never returned the gestures. He never even held my hand. He just sat there, with his hands by sides. The only time he touched me was to compare feet, to tickle my feet, and to give me a kinda stunned hug goodby and hello. So I kinda feel like I was molesting him or something. I even asked him, TWICE, if touching him was Okay. Because he was just sitting there like a mannequin, his feet flat on the floor, his hands at his side, and my body is just....draped across him. The first time I asked, he was like, yeah, it's cool. The second time, he was like, "What am I gonna say, get off me?" BUT HE NEVER TOUCHED ME. So.....a confusing day to say the least. I would meet guy number two again and see how that meeting goes, chances are he was simply shy. Link to post Share on other sites
jspice Posted August 13, 2020 Share Posted August 13, 2020 Guy 2 isn’t interested. At best, he’s lazy ( won’t even fix up his internet with a phone call). Has he initiated anything? Have you been the one to initiate calls, meetings and texting? Stop. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
dangerous Posted August 13, 2020 Share Posted August 13, 2020 On 8/10/2020 at 8:18 AM, ThereSheGoes said: Well....we were at his apartment. Lol. And no, I didn't want to sleep with him. Was I horny? Yes. But I would have preferred some making out. So in your male opinion, he just sees me as a slut now. tbh, if a girl was like this with me, IF I FANCIED HER, I would be delighted!! But if I didn't find her physically attractive then I would have cut the date short. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThereSheGoes Posted August 17, 2020 Author Share Posted August 17, 2020 On 8/13/2020 at 6:49 AM, jspice said: Guy 2 isn’t interested. At best, he’s lazy ( won’t even fix up his internet with a phone call). Has he initiated anything? Have you been the one to initiate calls, meetings and texting? Stop. He asked if I wanted to go to the book store with him on Wednesday. Sooo....I guess he's still interested? But I still feel like I have been friend zoned. Lol. So I went on another date with a guy that I have known for about 4 years, had a lot of pauses and ups and downs. I don't know how I feel about him, but what I can SAY is that he definitely was NOT afraid to touch me. At one point, he was grabbing my ass, and I'm still trying to figure out if I liked that or not. Link to post Share on other sites
jspice Posted August 17, 2020 Share Posted August 17, 2020 1 hour ago, ThereSheGoes said: He asked if I wanted to go to the book store with him on Wednesday. Sooo....I guess he's still interested? But I still feel like I have been friend zoned. Lol. So I went on another date with a guy that I have known for about 4 years, had a lot of pauses and ups and downs. I don't know how I feel about him, but what I can SAY is that he definitely was NOT afraid to touch me. At one point, he was grabbing my ass, and I'm still trying to figure out if I liked that or not. It doesn’t really matter what anyone says. You’re going to think he’s interested. You’re going on really weird dates. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThereSheGoes Posted August 17, 2020 Author Share Posted August 17, 2020 19 minutes ago, jspice said: It doesn’t really matter what anyone says. You’re going to think he’s interested. You’re going on really weird dates. I don't think he's interested in THAT way....I think he just wants to be friends. Because he hasn't given me a clue otherwise. So.....friends it is! Well, me and the guy I saw today used to be FwB's about 4 or 5 years ago. I moved and purposely lost contact until recently, so I guess he felt entitled to touching me, because of our past history. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 17, 2020 Share Posted August 17, 2020 Are you looking for FWB again? It seems you are looking for sex or some confirmation about desirability. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ThereSheGoes Posted August 18, 2020 Author Share Posted August 18, 2020 21 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Are you looking for FWB again? It seems you are looking for sex or some confirmation about desirability. Nope. I'm actually looking for a partner, lol. Link to post Share on other sites
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