Is it silly to feel absolutely outclassed by another guy?

[Azincourt]

Quote

In many cases you are correct but personally I’ve found it’s easier if you project the right attitude and you can find some sort of common ground.  I walked up to Michael Jordan in a bar one night and struck up a conversation with him based on the fact that I’m from North Carolina.  I spoke with him for probably 30 minutes. I could tell that people in the bar were thinking ‘ who the f*** is this guy.  He’s got  Michael Jordan laughing and joking?”  Now I am a salesman by profession and much of my job is engaging people and getting them to like me and to let their guard down.  The most useful tool is making someone laugh.  If you can make someone laugh whether it be a woman or a customer or the greatest basketball player of all time, you are half way home.  I’m naturally an introvert but I’ve learned these things from years of selling and it’s something that most anyone can learn.  There’s quite a bit on YouTube about this-some of it’s bad, but there is a lot of useful info to be had.

That's a good mentality to have, but wanting something is not enough to get it. And sometimes a guy is simply outmatched. Can I compete with Jeff Bezos for the acquisition of the washington Post?

Can I compete with Cristiano Ronaldo for the award of best scorer in the world?

I can't even score a goal when there's no keeper at the goalie.

In the same vein, sometimes a guy comes across a man who is so remarkably beautiful you wonder why this guy is wasting his time in a nightclub instead of moving to Hollywood to get rich making movies, and when that happens, there's really no amount of sense of humor, courage, and mental fortitude that will get a woman's interest away from that guy, and onto him.

Better a guy do is to accept it, go home, and go to another nightclub the next night and hope that dude ain't there.

[WesHightower]

17 minutes ago, Azincourt said:

That's a good mentality to have, but wanting something is not enough to get it. And sometimes a guy is simply outmatched. Can I compete with Jeff Bezos for the acquisition of the washington Post?

Can I compete with Cristiano Ronaldo for the award of best scorer in the world?

I can't even score a goal when there's no keeper at the goalie.

In the same vein, sometimes a guy comes across a man who is so remarkably beautiful you wonder why this guy is wasting his time in a nightclub instead of moving to Hollywood to get rich making movies, and when that happens, there's really no amount of sense of humor, courage, and mental fortitude that will get a woman's interest away from that guy, and onto him.

Better a guy do is to accept it, go home, and go to another nightclub the next night and hope that dude ain't there.

Yes, we’ll it is an odd, rare situation but the OP did bring it up for discussion so it’s all conjecture anyway.  In fact the only time I’ve ever seen anything like this- I used to go to a bar that was frequented by NFL players.  You’d see a huge guy like the OP describes come in and you could pretty much assume he was a football player.  In fact there were women who would go to this bar with the sole intent of snagging an NFL player.  I remember one time I tried to talk to this girl and she literally acted like I was invisible and she couldn’t hear me-at least she could have told me to f*** off.  But yes, probably best to just go home or at least another section of the club.

[explosivetomato]

8 hours ago, WesHightower said:

Yes, we’ll it is an odd, rare situation but the OP did bring it up for discussion so it’s all conjecture anyway.  In fact the only time I’ve ever seen anything like this- I used to go to a bar that was frequented by NFL players.  You’d see a huge guy like the OP describes come in and you could pretty much assume he was a football player.  In fact there were women who would go to this bar with the sole intent of snagging an NFL player.  I remember one time I tried to talk to this girl and she literally acted like I was invisible and she couldn’t hear me-at least she could have told me to f*** off.  But yes, probably best to just go home or at least another section of the club.

I don’t think it’s even the main thing to take from the OP’s discussion. That kind of thing happens in every nightclub in every city every night. It’s an entirely mundane and normal occurrence and happens with both sexes.

the OP witnessed it a year ago and became so obsessed with the man involved (not the woman) to the extent he’s fabricating stories in his head about the guy’s romantic life.

I’m unconvinced the OP isn’t a troll, but if not it looks to me more like a guy trying to come to terms with confusion about his sexuality, who is fighting it by trying to live and embrace a pickup artist lifestyle.

[basil67]

Wait....what?  This was a year ago?   I skimmed over that part.

@Peter1995 you need professional help.

[Azincourt]

Quote

Yes, we’ll it is an odd, rare situation but the OP did bring it up for discussion so it’s all conjecture anyway.  In fact the only time I’ve ever seen anything like this- I used to go to a bar that was frequented by NFL players.  You’d see a huge guy like the OP describes come in and you could pretty much assume he was a football player.  In fact there were women who would go to this bar with the sole intent of snagging an NFL player.  I remember one time I tried to talk to this girl and she literally acted like I was invisible and she couldn’t hear me-at least she could have told me to f*** off.  But yes, probably best to just go home or at least another section of the club.

Yeah, it doesn't surprise me that every sport has something like that. I've been to bars where women congregate to snag themselves a rich soccer player.  And I've been dumped myself for guys such as these ones. But as soon as people learn their weight class and stick to it, things don't get as dramatic as that, no.

There's even an acronym for it, 

Quote

 

WAGs (or Wags) is an acronym used to refer to wives and girlfriends of high-profile sportspersons. The term may also be used in the singular form, WAG, to refer to a specific female partner or life partner who is in a relationship with a sportsperson. The term and its use has been described as demeaning to women and sexist.

 

Quote

The term was first used by the British tabloid press to refer to the wives and girlfriends of high-profile footballers, originally the England national football team. It came into common use during the 2006 FIFA World Cup, although the term had been used occasionally before that. The acronym has since been used by the media in other countries to describe the female partners of sportspeople in general.

Quote

the OP witnessed it a year ago and became so obsessed with the man involved (not the woman) to the extent he’s fabricating stories in his head about the guy’s romantic life.

I wouldn't say the guy is obsessed per se. He wants to be this guy.

He's most likely fascinated by the guy and the lifestyle he leads, and yes, many young men are envious of men who lead such lives. It's normal for a man to feel outclassed and intimidated by someone. If you were walking down the street at night and you came upon a dude who is 2 times your size and built as Arnie: wouldn't you feel intimidated?

And after the fear vanishes, wouldn't you feel outclassed?

As a man who has spent most of his adult life in nightclubs and in the nightlife in general, I've come to understand that there are men who are as successful with women as Jeff Bezos is with his business, and for the most part these guys don't really have to try at all. Even when she looks like a 21 year old Princess Madeleine of Sweden.

I've experienced it myself. Had been talking to this woman for a week or so, wasting a lot of time talking to her(1 hour a day, everyday). She was well aware of what I wanted from her, and then we went to a nightclub, and some guy shows up that looked as good as a 25 year old David Gandy(world's most famous and popular fashion model) and I suddenly stopped existing to her.  She approached him and less than an hour she left the nightclub with him. Stopped talking to her because I can't compete with a guy who makes dozens of millions a year crossing a catwalk in his speedos.

Men like that have revolving door of women in their lives.  It's a whole different ball game.

Quote

@Peter1995 you need professional help.

Why does this guy need help?

There's something wrong with him because he came across a physical specimen that is so good-looking, hundreds, thousands of women in a given place in time can't take their eyes off, or is it because he's grown to admire and respect and desire to be like this guy? Who wouldn't?

To have that sort of sexual hold on attractive young women is something that not even Saudi Arabian Princes have. And these guys have the power of life and death. Money can buy a woman's time,  but it can't buy absolute physical desire.

 

[explosivetomato]

8 minutes ago, Azincourt said:

Yeah, it doesn't surprise me that every sport has something like that. I've been to bars where women congregate to snag themselves a rich soccer player.  And I've been dumped myself for guys such as these ones. But as soon as people learn their weight class and stick to it, things don't get as dramatic as that, no.

There's even an acronym for it, 

I wouldn't say the guy is obsessed per se. He wants to be this guy.

He's most likely fascinated by the guy and the lifestyle he leads, and yes, many young men are envious of men who lead such lives. It's normal for a man to feel outclassed and intimidated by someone. If you were walking down the street at night and you came upon a dude who is 2 times your size and built as Arnie: wouldn't you feel intimidated?

And after the fear vanishes, wouldn't you feel outclassed?

As a man who has spent most of his adult life in nightclubs and in the nightlife in general, I've come to understand that there are men who are as successful with women as Jeff Bezos is with his business, and for the most part these guys don't really have to try at all. Even when she looks like a 21 year old Princess Madeleine of Sweden.

I've experienced it myself. Had been talking to this woman for a week or so, wasting a lot of time talking to her(1 hour a day, everyday). She was well aware of what I wanted from her, and then we went to a nightclub, and some guy shows up that looked as good as a 25 year old David Gandy(world's most famous and popular fashion model) and I suddenly stopped existing to her.  She approached him and less than an hour she left the nightclub with him. Stopped talking to her because I can't compete with a guy who makes dozens of millions a year crossing a catwalk in his speedos.

Men like that have revolving door of women in their lives.  It's a whole different ball game.

Why does this guy need help?

There's something wrong with him because he came across a physical specimen that is so good-looking, hundreds, thousands of women in a given place in time can't take their eyes off, or is it because he's grown to admire and respect and desire to be like this guy? Who wouldn't?

To have that sort of sexual hold on attractive young women is something that not even Saudi Arabian Princes have. And these guys have the power of life and death. Money can buy a woman's time,  but it can't buy absolute physical desire.

 

Had this happened a few days ago I’d agree the OP wants to be this guy. It happened a year ago and he is so fixated on the guy that he is posting online about him and fabricating stories in his head about his potential love life.

Unril he stops defining his self worth by the amount of “hot” women he can attract, the OP will never be this guy or a happy guy in general. I worked in nightclubs myself and in general those that showed these values were crushingly insecure underneath, usually about either their social status, looks or sexual preferences.

[Azincourt]

Quote

Had this happened a few days ago I’d agree the OP wants to be this guy. It happened a year ago and he is so fixated on the guy that he is posting online about him and fabricating stories in his head about his potential love life.

Quote

 

It's been years since I met Cristiano Ronaldo and I still gush about him. I still show people the picture I took with him. People tend to keep it in their memories, meeting someone who is so extraordinary that you begin to question if he isn't a bastard son of Zeus.

I don't fan-boy over men like OP just described because I've encountered and befriended many of them over the decades, but the way the world and the way the hottest of women react to them has still left a lasting impression on me, for sure.

Why do you feel like he's fabricating stories about the guys' potential love life?

What stories sound improbable?

Quote

Unril he stops defining his self worth by the amount of “hot” women he can attract, the OP will never be this guy or a happy guy in general. I worked in nightclubs myself and in general those that showed these values were crushingly insecure underneath, usually about either their social status, looks or sexual preferences.

He's not defining his self-worth by the amount of hot women he can attract. He simply wants to have sex with those hot women. When I first arrived in Europe, I was befriended by a bunch of lads who took me to a beach. Now this was a family-oriented beach. Lots and lots of grandmas and parents with their kids.

How surprised I was when I feel droplets of sea water falling onto my lap, and I look up, and I see a gorgeous early 20-something woman wearing nothing but a g-string bikini. She was topless, and she was easily the most attractive woman I'd ever seen until then, which is remarkable considering I was raised in Santa Monica Beach. 

I looked at her, and as my jaw went unhinged, I wasn't really basing my self-worth as a man(a man's worth is measured on how much money he has) on getting to have sex with this woman, as first of all it would have been impossible as she was on an weight class far above  my own, but  I was looking at her because I felt a huge, huge desire to have sex with her.

I felt sad for a bit because I would need to look like Brad Pitt to have a chance at taking her home with me for the day/night,  but then I got over it, and over the years I've come to realize that there are women who are a waste  of time to even glance at for a second because the chance to get her ain't there and it's never gonna be there.

OP is reaching that conclusion himself, and it can be a daunting experience. 

Being insecure is perfectly normal when a guy is surrounded by men who look like they wouldn't look out of place in the Siege of Ancient Troy.  Is a guy supposed to feel confident and self-assured when there are men who could easily get the role of Superman or Batman if they had an inkling for acting?

Is a guy supposed to feel like he's not outclassed when he keeps losing role after role to Ryan Gosling and Chris Evans despite how much work you put into making yourself a better man?

OP will happy when he comes to the understanding that there are some women who are 'reserved' for the gods.

Rich soccer players, rich basketball players, Hollywood A-list stars, and rich old men who can buy the presidency of a given Country.

Or he can just head out to Germany and rent himself a super hot escort for the entire day.

Men need to figure out their weight class and to stick with it.  Floyd Mayweather jr might be the best defensive boxer of his generation, but prime age Mohammed Ali would've destroyed this guy in one single round.

Edited September 8, 2020 by Azincourt

[explosivetomato]

2 hours ago, Azincourt said:

It's been years since I met Cristiano Ronaldo and I still gush about him. I still show people the picture I took with him. People tend to keep it in their memories, meeting someone who is so extraordinary that you begin to question if he isn't a bastard son of Zeus.

I don't fan-boy over men like OP just described because I've encountered and befriended many of them over the decades, but the way the world and the way the hottest of women react to them has still left a lasting impression on me, for sure.

Why do you feel like he's fabricating stories about the guys' potential love life?

What stories sound improbable?

He's not defining his self-worth by the amount of hot women he can attract. He simply wants to have sex with those hot women. When I first arrived in Europe, I was befriended by a bunch of lads who took me to a beach. Now this was a family-oriented beach. Lots and lots of grandmas and parents with their kids.

How surprised I was when I feel droplets of sea water falling onto my lap, and I look up, and I see a gorgeous early 20-something woman wearing nothing but a g-string bikini. She was topless, and she was easily the most attractive woman I'd ever seen until then, which is remarkable considering I was raised in Santa Monica Beach. 

I looked at her, and as my jaw went unhinged, I wasn't really basing my self-worth as a man(a man's worth is measured on how much money he has) on getting to have sex with this woman, as first of all it would have been impossible as she was on an weight class far above  my own, but  I was looking at her because I felt a huge, huge desire to have sex with her.

I felt sad for a bit because I would need to look like Brad Pitt to have a chance at taking her home with me for the day/night,  but then I got over it, and over the years I've come to realize that there are women who are a waste  of time to even glance at for a second because the chance to get her ain't there and it's never gonna be there.

OP is reaching that conclusion himself, and it can be a daunting experience. 

Being insecure is perfectly normal when a guy is surrounded by men who look like they wouldn't look out of place in the Siege of Ancient Troy.  Is a guy supposed to feel confident and self-assured when there are men who could easily get the role of Superman or Batman if they had an inkling for acting?

Is a guy supposed to feel like he's not outclassed when he keeps losing role after role to Ryan Gosling and Chris Evans despite how much work you put into making yourself a better man?

OP will happy when he comes to the understanding that there are some women who are 'reserved' for the gods.

Rich soccer players, rich basketball players, Hollywood A-list stars, and rich old men who can buy the presidency of a given Country.

Or he can just head out to Germany and rent himself a super hot escort for the entire day.

Men need to figure out their weight class and to stick with it.  Floyd Mayweather jr might be the best defensive boxer of his generation, but prime age Mohammed Ali would've destroyed this guy in one single round.

if you’re still showing your Ronaldinho photo years later, I imagine you have a similar approach to the OP. A desire for status based on the hotness of women you interact with, hanging around in nightclubs for 20 years and comments like “a man’s self worth is determined solely by the amount of money he has” suggests a worldview quite different to the norm (or what I interpret as normal). Hence I really don’t understand his thread in general or why he’s even giving this all a second thought.

[mark clemson]

Quote

Walking up and striking a jovial conversation with a stranger in a club will get him earmarked as either a weirdo or hitting on the person involved. That’s utterly dreadful advice.

look at the way the OP writes. I don’t imagine he can swagger up and pull off the kind of charismatic showing you are suggesting.

21 hours ago, WesHightower said:

In many cases you are correct but personally I’ve found it’s easier if you project the right attitude and you can find some sort of common ground. 

 

I actually like Wes' suggestion, although it takes more than a bit of acting ability. Part of it depends on the reaction of the uber-Chad. If he's cool and/or plays along, then it's fine. If he thinks you're trying to hit on him or horn in on "his wealth" it might not. Or if he is simply a "solo artist" and uncomfortable with you being in his space.

If one is up for a ONS, sometimes if the uberChad leaves with one girl, the others may be left feeling a bit insecure and start looking for the next best thing (which might be you), esp. if you were (perceived as) a "cool friend" of the uberChad. Personally I wouldn't want to do more than a ONS or brief fling with a woman I met that way, though, as it would seem likely that I'd become Plan B sooner or later.

[mark clemson]

On 9/2/2020 at 1:53 PM, Peter1995 said:

But I guess that I should expect that some men are exceptionally attractive and will easily steal all attention like that, even though I have always been considered very handsome myself?

Correct. You are a Chad. He is an uberChad. Learn your place, mortal!

[LivingWaterPlease]

On 9/7/2020 at 10:47 AM, explosivetomato said:

This all seems very odd.

You try to chat up a girl last year on a night out and another guy took her attention instead. We’re almost a year on and you’re still obsessed with this? How is this even something to worry about? It happens in every bar or nightclub in the world, every night.

You also seem to have an unhealthy fixation on the guy himself!

Several posters have mentioned this. To me, it doesn't seem like an obsession of OP's. To me, it seems as if he has a lot of depth and is analyzing many perspectives of the situation. It's interesting to me, too, and I didn't even see the guy. Human behavior and the intricacies of how it plays out, what influences it, etc., is fascinating to enough people that there are careers based on it. I also believe personal growth occurs when we can take a particular situation that affects us and analyze why, in depth.

[LivingWaterPlease]

On 9/4/2020 at 5:36 PM, Peter1995 said:

Yes, I guess the guy that I saw at the club would have a similar problem:
all the girls who had started hitting on him were definitely super-into him, and they seemed to compete for his attention and barely even notice each other.
Of course, they would be focused on his looks at that point, since they didn't know him, but they did look at him with a really tender a flirty gaze and gave him compliments, tried to find excuses to touch him, and were giddy in general, so it wouldn't surprise me if those who may have ended up dating him got a mad crush on him later.
Two of them also directly invited him to do something with each of them, but he seemed to mostly give a flattered laugh as a response.

I am not sure how he handled that situation, since he seemed to find all of them attractive, but maybe he dated each of them at a time.

To the bolded, "Or maybe he didn't date any of them."  It's possible he found it boring. The guy I know is a family member and there are a couple of other quite attractive guys in my family I hear a lot from. Mostly they aren't interested in settling down with a woman who chases them. Not because they don't think it's a woman's place or role. It seems to me they just enjoy the pursuit of wooing a woman. They treat women very well, btw. 

[LivingWaterPlease]

On 9/7/2020 at 11:42 AM, Peter1995 said:

 

 

On 9/7/2020 at 11:40 AM, explosivetomato said:

It honestly sounds to me like you’re fetishising him and aren’t sure how to say it. Is that actually what this is about? It’s nothing to be ashamed of if so.

 

On 9/7/2020 at 11:42 AM, Peter1995 said:

Not really that, I am more curious about what his relationship would be with women in general.
It seems like it would be quite complicated.

I don't understand why folks are pushing the idea that 1. you're obsessing about the guy and 2. you're latently attracted to him. To me, it's obvious you're interested in human behavior as many other people in the world are. I also don't think it's a narcissistic perspective you have. I really enjoy delving into relational aspects of behavior in real life and discussing them with others, too. IMO those who don't understand are simply wired differently and just not as interested in analyzing human behavior, what makes people tick, etc. 

I'm wondering if some of these who think you were possibly interested in him are projecting. But, that's a subject for another thread. It seems to me people tend to judge others from their own experiences and mindset.

OP, this is an interesting discussion to me and to some others, it seems. 

Edited September 9, 2020 by LivingWaterPlease

[WesHightower]

8 minutes ago, LivingWaterPlease said:

 

 

I don't understand why folks are pushing the idea that 1. you're obsessing about the guy and 2. you're latently attracted to him. To me, it's obvious you're interested in human behavior as many other people in the world are. I also don't think it's a narcissistic perspective you have. I really enjoy delving into relational aspects of behavior in real life and discussing them with others, too. IMO those who don't understand are simply wired differently and just not as interested in analyzing human behavior, what makes people tick, etc. 

I'm wondering if some of these who think you were possibly interested in him are projecting. But, that's a subject for another thread. It seems to me people tend to judge others from their own experiences and mindset.

OP, this is an interesting discussion to me and to some others, it seems. 

Haha, I enjoy studying this type of human behavior also.  I also sort of look at my whole online dating experience as a social experiment.  For example, I put certain pictures up and make note (just in my head, nothing official) of How many likes or whatever that I get.  I usually don’t wear glasses but I do sometimes wear computer glasses if it starts bothering my eyes.  I put up a photo wearing those glasses and there was quite an uptick in positive responses.  The biggest difference I noticed is when I put up what I call my ‘manly man’ photo.  I had been out in the sun a lot so I was very tan, wearing work type clothing, with sort of a smirk on my face.  It was astounding how much the positive responses increased.  I guess sometimes OLD gets a little bewildering so I have to find a way to have fun with it.

[basil67]

2 hours ago, LivingWaterPlease said:

I don't understand why folks are pushing the idea that 1. you're obsessing about the guy

I wouldn't say that he's obsessing about the guy, but how he's personalised this whole thing is certainly something outside of an interest in other people's behaviour.     Here are just handful of his many thoughts:

• so it felt hopeless
• it was a very strange and diminishing experience when the other guy simply showed up and immediately had dramatically more success in every possible way:
•  I appeared very average compared to him 
• he seemed to be so much more attractive than me.
•  really felt as if I would be totally invisible to most women whenever he was in my presence
• and makes me feel completely invisible.
• I had got used to always being considered one of the most good-looking guys in every situation
• made me feel totally defeated
• it felt pretty insulting
• it just felt strange to have had a lifelong experience of not feeling too much rivalry in terms of looks

Rather than obsessing about the guy, I think the OP is obsessing about himself in comparison.  He's likely never relied on qualities other than his looks and as such, is completely out of his depth compared to a more well rounded regular looking guy who's got it all sorted.

[WesHightower]

1 hour ago, basil67 said:

regular

Now that I think about it, I’m glad I didn’t show up.  The OP would have already killed himself.😜

[explosivetomato]

5 hours ago, LivingWaterPlease said:

 

 

I don't understand why folks are pushing the idea that 1. you're obsessing about the guy and 2. you're latently attracted to him. To me, it's obvious you're interested in human behavior as many other people in the world are. I also don't think it's a narcissistic perspective you have. I really enjoy delving into relational aspects of behavior in real life and discussing them with others, too. IMO those who don't understand are simply wired differently and just not as interested in analyzing human behavior, what makes people tick, etc. 

I'm wondering if some of these who think you were possibly interested in him are projecting. But, that's a subject for another thread. It seems to me people tend to judge others from their own experiences and mindset.

OP, this is an interesting discussion to me and to some others, it seems. 

He is obsessing about the guy. This was a throwaway non-incident in a nightclub that happened a year ago and from it he is fabricating stories in his head about the guy’s personal life. This kind of incident has happened to pretty much any man who has went out clubbing with the intention of meeting a woman, quite likely including the guy involved. It is not something r to be thinking of a year later.

I worked in a nightclub for 5 years and knew all the regular customers so indeed I am projecting my own experience. From what I saw, men who obsessed over this kind of thing - their “game” so to speak, their looks, their ability to get the attention of only the most conventionally attractive women and their fixation on the build and physical prowess of their male competition, usually had some sort of deep, underlying insecurity. This was not necessarily a latent attraction to men, but it was always to compensate for something. The OP seems to value himself solely on his looks and his writing style suggests a deep insecurity in the way he deals with women. Couple that with his fixation on the physique and attractiveness of another man and it’s just one of many possibilities. Absolutely nothing wrong with it if that is what he feels, though as you say, chances are it’s more about comparison.

It reminds me of one of my old friends from school. He’s slept with more women than anyone else I know and has thrown away happy relationships to chase after the type of woman discussed in this thread, usually regretting it once he is inevitably rejected. He is unable to hold down a relationship, has constant problems with erectile dysfunction and when he eventually got married to a trophy wife, his lack of interest in sex was one of the reasons he was divorced within a year. 

He chases after women not because he wants sex with them, but to provide a boost of ego and self-esteem he struggles to get elsewhere in his life. He is also obsessed with the male physique, much like the OP, and quite homophobic, which has led to myself and other friends having similar theories about him (we actually think he is largely asexual, but that’s another story).

[elaine567]

On 9/2/2020 at 10:47 PM, LivingWaterPlease said:

One time a comment was made to him about all the women who throw themselves at him and I heard him reply (i would write he said it longingly because he did,  but it sounds  too dramatic), "But I just want one, all I want is one." 

|He doesn't want these low value, superficial "floosies" that make a bee line for him, he wants a real, sincere and genuine person.

[Azincourt]

23 hours ago, explosivetomato said:

if you’re still showing your Ronaldinho photo years later, I imagine you have a similar approach to the OP. A desire for status based on the hotness of women you interact with, hanging around in nightclubs for 20 years and comments like “a man’s self worth is determined solely by the amount of money he has” suggests a worldview quite different to the norm (or what I interpret as normal). Hence I really don’t understand his thread in general or why he’s even giving this all a second thought.

Yeah, who would show a picture of himself taken with the greatest player in the world of his sport? It's not like there are people who took a picture with Stan Musial and cherished it well enough to show it to people. My family doctor was showing me and was showing his nurses the pictures of his newborn daughter.  Why? Anyone can make a baby. Easiest thing in the world, but to meet and to handshake, and to take a picture with a guy who became a billionaire before he was even 35 years old?

How many men are like this guy? How many men are born into abject poverty and rise with the power of his unlimited soccer potential, his will to win,  and all that he has accomplished in soccer,  broken every record ever(only one to go) and is still sleeping and hooking-up with super fashion models that are 10+ years younger than him?

Not to mention the fact that he has A-List Hollywood good looks. You seen how some soccer players look like? Wayne Rooney at the age of 21 looked like a 45 year old alcoholic. I'd rather young men go on to admire and to want to emulate this guy,  over following some billionaire that is rich because his daddy was rich and left him everything.

Oh, a man's worth is based on his wealth, alright. That or on the social status that he was born to have. A middle-class man steals food to eat, he goes to jail. A billionaire who has messed up everything in his life becomes the leader of the most powerful nation in the entire of Mankind's existence.

All men are born equal.

 Sure, if the men we are talking about are Saudi Arabian Princes, Princes of England, or are billionaires on their own right or because they inherited their money, or because they divorced their cheating husband and took 60 billions with them.

 

[Azincourt]

Quote

|He doesn't want these low value, superficial "floosies" that make a bee line for him, he wants a real, sincere and genuine person.

First of all,  a woman ''throwing'' herself at a guy doesn't make her a floosie.

There is no such thing as a floosie.

Not unless the person who is saying that belongs to a conservative religion that defines a woman's value on how many guys she has slept with or hasn't. That's diluted Sharia Law mentality.

My mother saw my father for the first time at the local restaurant. Dad was talking to his friends and watching the game. Didn't see my mother because the place was crowded, but my mother sure saw my dad. She went up to him, struck a conversation, his friends gave my parents some space,  mom asked dad out, mom hooked-up with dad that very night, a month later they got married to each other, 40 years later they're happily married to each other, they have 11 daughters and 1 son.

Now show me how many of those ''high value'' women who make men work for it have a marriage half as good as that one. How many daughters? How many sons?

That's how I reckon a woman is into me or not. Does she pursue me? Does she make the first move by physically going up to me and saying hello? No, sending signals of interest at me don't really count as making the first move, at least to me.  

She expects me to pay for the date? Gold-digging.

She expects me to pursue her and wait months before she has sex with me? 

She's not sexually attracted to me and she's trying to milk me for free dates and free attention.  I'm in my 30s. I don't date like middle-aged and baby boomers do, bro.

Edited September 9, 2020 by Azincourt

[explosivetomato]

20 minutes ago, Azincourt said:

Yeah, who would show a picture of himself taken with the greatest player in the world of his sport? It's not like there are people who took a picture with Stan Musial and cherished it well enough to show it to people. My family doctor was showing me and was showing his nurses the pictures of his newborn daughter.  Why? Anyone can make a baby. Easiest thing in the world, but to meet and to handshake, and to take a picture with a guy who became a billionaire before he was even 35 years old?

How many men are like this guy? How many men are born into abject poverty and rise with the power of his unlimited soccer potential, his will to win,  and all that he has accomplished in soccer,  broken every record ever(only one to go) and is still sleeping and hooking-up with super fashion models that are 10+ years younger than him?

Not to mention the fact that he has A-List Hollywood good looks. You seen how some soccer players look like? Wayne Rooney at the age of 21 looked like a 45 year old alcoholic. I'd rather young men go on to admire and to want to emulate this guy,  over following some billionaire that is rich because his daddy was rich and left him everything.

Oh, a man's worth is based on his wealth, alright. That or on the social status that he was born to have. A middle-class man steals food to eat, he goes to jail. A billionaire who has messed up everything in his life becomes the leader of the most powerful nation in the entire of Mankind's existence.

All men are born equal.

 Sure, if the men we are talking about are Saudi Arabian Princes, Princes of England, or are billionaires on their own right or because they inherited their money, or because they divorced their cheating husband and took 60 billions with them.

 

You sound legitimately insane. Still clubbing when you’re nearly 40 and this fixation on billionaires isn’t healthy.

I’m never going to get you to change your views and I appreciate we’re all different, but the only multi-millionaire I know is the guy who I mentioned in my previous post. He’s slept with more attractive women than anyone else I know and he’s an absolute mess, constantly on antidepressants and practically undateable outside of short dalliances. He’s also quite self-aware and admits this, but finds the behaviour addictive.

Edited September 9, 2020 by explosivetomato

[mark clemson]

🏚️⬇️🌉

[Azincourt]

9 hours ago, basil67 said:

I wouldn't say that he's obsessing about the guy, but how he's personalised this whole thing is certainly something outside of an interest in other people's behaviour.     Here are just handful of his many thoughts:

• so it felt hopeless
• it was a very strange and diminishing experience when the other guy simply showed up and immediately had dramatically more success in every possible way:
•  I appeared very average compared to him 
• he seemed to be so much more attractive than me.
•  really felt as if I would be totally invisible to most women whenever he was in my presence
• and makes me feel completely invisible.
• I had got used to always being considered one of the most good-looking guys in every situation
• made me feel totally defeated
• it felt pretty insulting
• it just felt strange to have had a lifelong experience of not feeling too much rivalry in terms of looks

Rather than obsessing about the guy, I think the OP is obsessing about himself in comparison.  He's likely never relied on qualities other than his looks and as such, is completely out of his depth compared to a more well rounded regular looking guy who's got it all sorted.

Have you seen how far women go to be attractive?

The multi-billions a year the Beauty industry is racking up, all of that money because women are satisfied and happy with the looks they were given and with the aging process, right?

The Kardashian sisters became billionaires because they're a bunch of gorgeous women every young woman wants to be like, and the youngest Jenner sister became the world's youngest billionaire at the age of 21 thanks to her make-up and clothing brand.

It's perfectly natural for someone to feel outclassed, to feel like this person is better than this other guy, but you guys don't really understand the emotional impact it has on someone because you've never been in proximity to a super male model,  to a famous movie star(not the danny devito sort of movie star) and you have never seen a guy who makes 2 million euros a week playing soccer.

The thing to do is to not let this becoming a looming shadow over his emotional state and his life. Yes, there are men who are absolutely beautiful, and if you were to meet old Brad Pitt you would still be amazed by how beautiful he is. To want to be that guy, to want to be able to enter a nightclub and have gorgeous women wanting to go home with you, easily, is the fantasy of many young men. It's not a childish, teenager fantasy. It's a desire that comes from having something called testosterone.

You see a beautiful woman. You want to bring her home for the night. Unless you are rich, she ain't coming home with you if you are not as beautiful as she is, although there are cases when a 10 will sleep with a man who is only an 8, but it takes at least a few hours of conversation pretending to care about her interests, life goals, her family stories etc etc, whereas a movie star, a sports star, or a Brad Pitt-type guy can just have those women go up to him, offer him everything on a plate and booom, dude feels like a rockstar.

I don't think you quite understand what OP and other men are looking for when they go to a nightclub. A Bar. A music festival.

They are looking for sex. Casual sex. Rubbing feet without having to meet her parents for her hand in proposal.

''hey, my name's jack, what's yours? Rose? Great, let's smash and never see each other's again.''

That's what OP and many other guys are looking for when it comes to nightclubs, and having other qualities other than his looks don't mean much, because those women aren't looking for a boyfriend in that kind of enviroment. They're looking for the qualities that get's a man to star in the Men's Fitness magazine cover page.

But hey OP, next time you're standing next to a stud like that one, casually add to the conversation you're having with the woman you're interested in how you volunteer at the local kitchen soup for the homeless.

That will 100% make her lose all of her interest in that beautiful man, and she won't be able to get her eyes and hands off you.

PS: just hit the gym, bro, get you that Eric Bana body in Troy(2004) and things will get better.

And don't look for middle-aged and baby-boomer people to understand what it's like to be young, healthy, and looking for fun lol.

Edited September 9, 2020 by Azincourt

[explosivetomato]

27 minutes ago, Azincourt said:

Have you seen how far women go to be attractive?

The multi-billions a year the Beauty industry is racking up, all of that money because women are satisfied and happy with the looks they were given and with the aging process, right?

The Kardashian sisters became billionaires because they're a bunch of gorgeous women every young woman wants to be like, and the youngest Jenner sister became the world's youngest billionaire at the age of 21 thanks to her make-up and clothing brand.

It's perfectly natural for someone to feel outclassed, to feel like this person is better than this other guy, but you guys don't really understand the emotional impact it has on someone because you've never been in proximity to a super male model,  to a famous movie star(not the danny devito sort of movie star) and you have never seen a guy who makes 2 million euros a week playing soccer.

The thing to do is to not let this becoming a looming shadow over his emotional state and his life. Yes, there are men who are absolutely beautiful, and if you were to meet old Brad Pitt you would still be amazed by how beautiful he is. To want to be that guy, to want to be able to enter a nightclub and have gorgeous women wanting to go home with you, easily, is the fantasy of many young men. It's not a childish, teenager fantasy. It's a desire that comes from having something called testosterone.

You see a beautiful woman. You want to bring her home for the night. Unless you are rich, she ain't coming home with you if you are not as beautiful as she is, although there are cases when a 10 will sleep with a man who is only an 8, but it takes at least a few hours of conversation pretending to care about her interests, life goals, her family stories etc etc, whereas a movie star, a sports star, or a Brad Pitt-type guy can just have those women go up to him, offer him everything on a plate and booom, dude feels like a rockstar.

I don't think you quite understand what OP and other men are looking for when they go to a nightclub. A Bar. A music festival.

They are looking for sex. Casual sex. Rubbing feet without having to meet her parents for her hand in proposal.

''hey, my name's jack, what's yours? Rose? Great, let's smash and never see each other's again.''

That's what OP and many other guys are looking for when it comes to nightclubs, and having other qualities other than his looks don't mean much, because those women aren't looking for a boyfriend in that kind of enviroment. They're looking for the qualities that get's a man to star in the Men's Fitness magazine cover page.

But hey OP, next time you're standing next to a stud like that one, casually add to the conversation you're having with the woman you're interested in how you volunteer at the local kitchen soup for the homeless.

That will 100% make her lose all of her interest in that beautiful man, and she won't be able to get her eyes and hands off you.

PS: just hit the gym, bro, get you that Eric Bana body in Troy(2004) and things will get better.

And don't look for middle-aged and baby-boomer people to understand what it's like to be young, healthy, and looking for fun lol.

I think the OP’s obvious insecurities and general tone make it quite clear that a life of casual sex isn’t really what he’s after, or suited to. If  his birth year is 1995 as suggested by his username, he’s also approaching the upper end of the age bracket for clubbing.

This thread is weird. You seem to view bumping into Christiano Ronaldo in a nightclub as some sort of life achievement, when in truth you were likely just another one of the many sycophants he has to deal with daily. You also, going by the “soccer” terminology you use, clearly have no clue whatsoever about his job.

You say you’ve been clubbing nightly for 20 years. You must be approaching middle age yourself? How does it feel clubbing regularly in your 30s? Is it what you aspire to?

Edited September 9, 2020 by explosivetomato

[LivingWaterPlease]

5 hours ago, elaine567 said:

|He doesn't want these low value, superficial "floosies" that make a bee line for him, he wants a real, sincere and genuine person.

Yep! He has dated two women who were very average (in my opinion) in appearance and actually, those were the two he liked the best because they seemed to have more depth. Nothing against beautiful, just that there are plenty of guys who are just as interested in depth and character as in beauty! Don't mean to derail the thread but the subject matter is appearance of opposite sex, it seems so this may fit in.