Is it silly to feel absolutely outclassed by another guy?

[LivingWaterPlease]

7 hours ago, explosivetomato said:

He is obsessing about the guy. This was a throwaway non-incident in a nightclub that happened a year ago and from it he is fabricating stories in his head about the guy’s personal life. This kind of incident has happened to pretty much any man who has went out clubbing with the intention of meeting a woman, quite likely including the guy involved. It is not something r to be thinking of a year later.

I worked in a nightclub for 5 years and knew all the regular customers so indeed I am projecting my own experience. From what I saw, men who obsessed over this kind of thing - their “game” so to speak, their looks, their ability to get the attention of only the most conventionally attractive women and their fixation on the build and physical prowess of their male competition, usually had some sort of deep, underlying insecurity. This was not necessarily a latent attraction to men, but it was always to compensate for something. The OP seems to value himself solely on his looks and his writing style suggests a deep insecurity in the way he deals with women. Couple that with his fixation on the physique and attractiveness of another man and it’s just one of many possibilities. Absolutely nothing wrong with it if that is what he feels, though as you say, chances are it’s more about comparison.

It reminds me of one of my old friends from school. He’s slept with more women than anyone else I know and has thrown away happy relationships to chase after the type of woman discussed in this thread, usually regretting it once he is inevitably rejected. He is unable to hold down a relationship, has constant problems with erectile dysfunction and when he eventually got married to a trophy wife, his lack of interest in sex was one of the reasons he was divorced within a year. 

He chases after women not because he wants sex with them, but to provide a boost of ego and self-esteem he struggles to get elsewhere in his life. He is also obsessed with the male physique, much like the OP, and quite homophobic, which has led to myself and other friends having similar theories about him (we actually think he is largely asexual, but that’s another story).

I don't agree with your post. Don't have much time, but there is another type of person than you're familiar with. In fact, lots more types, not just one other! People are not all the same. I know lots of people, men and women both, who may involve in same type of discussion. Gotta run. Would like to write more!