Ruby Slippers Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 7 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said: But when the subject came up, I was quick to lie, then bail. But you didn't answer the question: why? If you were going to bail anyway, why not just be honest? Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 Just now, Ruby Slippers said: But you didn't answer the question: why? If you were going to bail anyway, why not just be honest? So I could continue to sleep with them until I found a replacement or moved. I was nomadic in my youth, so if I was planning on moving in 2-3 months, just lie, continue to have sex, then move. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 That's very hard for me to understand. I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror. I'm not trying to judge - I just truly don't understand how your conscience could withstand that. 3 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 2 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said: I just truly don't understand how your conscience could withstand that. I was dumped a number of times for a bigger wallet, so I have no problem extending the same courtesies. Never had a problem with my conscience or looking in the mirror. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 But the women who brought up marriage didn't dump you for a bigger wallet. That's like saying my neighbor on the left is rude, so I'm going to be rude toward the neighbor on the right. 5 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 48 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said: But the women who brought up marriage didn't dump you for a bigger wallet. That's like saying my neighbor on the left is rude, so I'm going to be rude toward the neighbor on the right. What you say is 100% right but I have heard from women who feel that every man is obligated to pay the price for what bad men do. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 Those women are wrong, of course. I suppose it's as they say: Hurt people hurt people. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Veronica73 Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 I took a large financial hit when I got divorced. And I don’t even regret marrying him or not getting a prenup first. I was very much in love and we were quite happy for awhile. I took a leap of faith. Which I think is what most people do when they get married. Doubt I’ll ever do that again though. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 19 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said: Those women are wrong, of course. I suppose it's as they say: Hurt people hurt people. There are a lot of hurt people. I honestly think if it weren't for sexual attraction a lot of men and women wouldn't even deal with each other these days and that is really sad. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 21 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said: Those women are wrong, of course. I suppose it's as they say: Hurt people hurt people. Or "you're no better than they are" Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 1 minute ago, Woggle said: There are a lot of hurt people. I honestly think if it weren't for sexual attraction a lot of men and women wouldn't even deal with each other these days and that is really sad. We've got a whole thread on why more women (particularly older ones) are choosing to stay single..... Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 4 minutes ago, basil67 said: Or "you're no better than they are" By moral and ethical standards, honesty is better than dishonesty. It's not my place to judge. I just see it as faulty logic. I suspect at the time it wasn't logical, but emotional. 4 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 1 minute ago, basil67 said: We've got a whole thread on why more women (particularly older ones) are choosing to stay single..... True. I got a bit off topic but at least on the internet there is so much animosity between the genders these days. Anyways marriage can be a beautiful thing if a couple actually values it and lives up to the vows but many don't. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 I still want to get married again, but only if the relationship has the qualities that make a good marriage. I've had plenty of chances, but I guess I wasn't ready. It all starts with you/me. I'm pretty sure I will get married again someday. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 I swore after my first marriage ended that I would rather pour acid down my throat than do it and today my wife and I are truly happy and more in love than ever so anything can happen. If we never crossed paths though I would probably still be single. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 I was married once. We were very much in love, but young and clueless. We stayed friends for many years after. I've come close a few times since, but won't do it again unless I feel very confident it has lifetime staying power. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 My first marriage was actually great until we moved to New Jersey. I met her when we were both still living in NYC then we bought the house in NJ, she took a liking to hard drugs and everything went to hell after that. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 42 minutes ago, Woggle said: True. I got a bit off topic but at least on the internet there is so much animosity between the genders these days. Anyways marriage can be a beautiful thing if a couple actually values it and lives up to the vows but many don't. The internet is a festering wound of animosity - gender, politics, religion....it's where all the crazies live. Real life still has crazies, but far less of them. It's really not so bad. And I agree that marriage can be a beautiful thing. We may not be technically married, but we consider ourselves married and life is good. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 3 hours ago, Ruby Slippers said: But the women who brought up marriage didn't dump you for a bigger wallet. They just hadn't found a bigger wallet, yet. As soon as they did, poof they'd be gone, too. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 13 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said: They just hadn't found a bigger wallet, yet. As soon as they did, poof they'd be gone, too. It sounds very far from my own experience. I've had relationships with men at every income level, from low to high and in between. I've never once been tempted away from a man by another guy with more money. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 13 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said: I've never once been tempted away from a man by another guy with more money. You are a rare unicorn among women. I hope you find a gentleman that appreciates that fact. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 4 minutes ago, Happy Lemming said: You are a rare unicorn among women. I hope you find a gentleman that appreciates that fact. I appreciate the compliment - but I don't think I'm that rare in this respect. All my close friends are the same way, have never been motivated by money in love. Of course, they are exceptional ladies, I must say. 3 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 6 hours ago, Ruby Slippers said: I've never once been tempted away from a man by another guy with more money. 6 hours ago, Happy Lemming said: You are a rare unicorn among women. I hope you find a gentleman that appreciates that fact. I'm with @Ruby Slippers & I don't think she's all that rare. When I married DH, he probably had less money then all but one guy I ever dated as an adult. You need some money, obviously. You can't live on love but the size of his wallet alone doesn't make somebody a suitable partner. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 @Ruby Slippers As a point of clarification, didn't you ask your ex-boyfriend to pay for some lawn equipment?? Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 (edited) No. When springtime came, I was about to call my yard guy and ask him to start up again. My ex offered to do the yard work if I'd buy the equipment. I pay $30 every 2 weeks, the equipment was $300, so he calculated I'd be "in the money" after him mowing 10 times. I bought the equipment. I even offered to pay him the $30 each time, but he refused. He put it together and started doing the yard work, though never all that well. He only edged and blowed the first time, subsequent times left the edges a shaggy mess. He'd only mowed a few times when the letter from the HOA came in saying the work wasn't sufficient and if it wasn't done right I'd be fined, which is when he changed his mind and offered to pay me back for the equipment. One thing I never clarified in the other thread is that our discussions about sharing expenses for yard and housework help were based on a future scenario of being married, my suggestion to counteract his poor cleaning habits. Also, while when we met he made 4 times my salary, he said I paid more of the dating expenses than anyone he's ever dated, and I'm the only woman from a dating site who didn't request an expensive restaurant for our first date. Edited August 12, 2020 by Ruby Slippers Link to post Share on other sites
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