Happy Lemming Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 2 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said: offered to pay me back for the equipment. If memory serves, you dogged him for the check after he was gone. Is the equipment still in your possession?? If so, throw it up on craigslist as used, sell it and send him the money. Fair is fair. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 (edited) No, I didn't "dog him." I don't feel like having strangers come over to buy stuff during the pandemic, but once I sell it, he will be reimbursed. Clearly I offended you with my commentary on the way you treated women in the past, given your little counterattack here. I apologize for offending you, and will leave it at that. Edited August 12, 2020 by Ruby Slippers 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 2 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said: No, I didn't "dog him." Why even ask?? After all you have this great and wonderful new job, but because he earns more, he should be forced to pay for the lawn equipment. Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 9 hours ago, Happy Lemming said: You are a rare unicorn among women. Not saying that Ruby's not fabulous, but no - she is not a unicorn for not chasing after the man with the most money. Just curious Happy Lemming, do you think your current girlfriend would move on to another guy if she had the opportunity with someone with more money? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 1 minute ago, FMW said: Just curious Happy Lemming, do you think your current girlfriend would move on to another guy if she had the opportunity with someone with more money? Oh yea... without a doubt... no hesitation. I've been called "cheap" (by her) so many times that I'm beginning to think it's my middle name. Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 Sorry you feel that way Happy Lemming. Sounds like you actually DO a lot of things for her. Calling you cheap doesn't necessarily mean she would choose someone else over you just for the money. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 Just now, FMW said: Calling you cheap doesn't necessarily mean she would choose someone else over you just for the money. She's told me repeatedly that she can do better (richer guy). I've told her to "go for it", even volunteering to help her with the computer aspects of an on-line dating account, but she never follows through. At one point, her sister tried to fix her up with a new guy (while we have been dating) but apparently this guy was "poor as a church mouse" and he was dismissed. If she wants to leave, she can... I've never tried to stop her from finding that "rich guy" or at least one with more money than me, but nobody is "knocking on her door" so I guess we will continue. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 Well I'm thinking it's YOU that can do better then. I can't see myself spending another moment with someone who told me once, much less repeatedly, they could do better. 7 Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 1 minute ago, FMW said: I can't see myself spending another moment with someone who told me once, much less repeatedly, they could do better. It doesn't bother me one bit. I've been dating just shy of 40 years... I've seen it all, heard it all and had it done to me. I've got plenty of "war stories" about dating and my skin has gotten quite thick through the process. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
poppyfields Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 True commitment comes from the HEART. There are married couples who are not committed and unmarried couples who are committed. My bf and I are discussing, but I don't see the relevance of it. If you have children, that's different. Let your commitment come from within your hearts not from vows or a certificate that many couples don't take seriously anyway. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
rjc149 Posted August 13, 2020 Share Posted August 13, 2020 Nearly half of all marriages end in divorce. 70% of divorces are initiated by women, who are then entitled to half their husband's assets, often leaving the man both financially destitute and heartbroken. An iron-clad prenup requires both parties to have their own attorneys draw up a contract together. Before you're even married, you and your fiancee are hiring separate lawyers to negotiate a potential divorce. It's an ominous and really, really unromantic way to start a marriage, but any other prenup can be sunk. In the modern, socially-interconnected era, commitment is more difficult. Options are more abundant. Divorce is more acceptable -- even the norm in some circles. Then again, it's always the salaciousness of a bad marriage, the cheating and abuse and sh-tty behavior, that gets our attention. There is no thread on LS titled "I'm in a loving marriage and want to share the details!" It's always important to keep in mind that 50% of marriages don't fail, and that at least some of those marriages are home runs. Marriage shouldn't be the goal. The goal should be a true companionship and a true commitment. Then, if it makes sense to put a ribbon on it, go for it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ThereSheGoes Posted August 13, 2020 Share Posted August 13, 2020 I don't believe in marriage. I believe in love and monogamy. But I don't believe in marriage. Its a concept constructed by society and has nothing to do with love. Thats my take on it. Link to post Share on other sites
schlumpy Posted August 13, 2020 Share Posted August 13, 2020 10 hours ago, ThereSheGoes said: But I don't believe in marriage. Its a concept constructed by society and has nothing to do with love. Thats my take on it. I agree that rationally it is a construct of society and it's roots are in legal protection and not love, but It goes back thousands of years. I am not willing to put up the small amount of wisdom I have gained during my limited life time against the accepted practice of the billions of people that have come before me. Beliefs are fine but are only an act of faith untested by the future. I've read too many stories from women who have also not believed in marriage and been left high and dry when their SO abandoned them and the kids. But you are free to sacrifice yourself to whims of chance. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted August 13, 2020 Share Posted August 13, 2020 On 8/11/2020 at 7:39 PM, Happy Lemming said: I lied when the subject of marriage came up. I didn't bring it up. If it was a woman I only went out with once or twice or a one night stand, of course the subject of marriage didn't come up. I was talking about the women that did bring the subject up. Some women brought the issue of marriage up at 3 months, some at 6 months, some at a year and some at two years. I've only had two relationships that exceeded two years. But when the subject came up, I was quick to lie, then bail. NEXT! This is sociopathic behavior. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted August 13, 2020 Share Posted August 13, 2020 On 8/11/2020 at 8:06 PM, Happy Lemming said: I was dumped a number of times for a bigger wallet, so I have no problem extending the same courtesies. Never had a problem with my conscience or looking in the mirror. What is/was your relationship like with your mother? Just curious. Link to post Share on other sites
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted August 13, 2020 Share Posted August 13, 2020 On 8/11/2020 at 9:43 PM, Veronica73 said: I took a large financial hit when I got divorced. And I don’t even regret marrying him or not getting a prenup first. I was very much in love and we were quite happy for awhile. I took a leap of faith. Which I think is what most people do when they get married. Doubt I’ll ever do that again though. Sounds like things were good at one point. What happened? Just wondering how things end up going from great to time to divorce in marriages. Link to post Share on other sites
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted August 13, 2020 Share Posted August 13, 2020 On 8/11/2020 at 10:08 PM, Woggle said: I swore after my first marriage ended that I would rather pour acid down my throat than do it and today my wife and I are truly happy and more in love than ever so anything can happen. If we never crossed paths though I would probably still be single. What qualities does your wife have that made you change your mind on getting married again? Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted August 13, 2020 Share Posted August 13, 2020 2 hours ago, schlumpy said: I agree that rationally it is a construct of society and it's roots are in legal protection and not love, but It goes back thousands of years. I am not willing to put up the small amount of wisdom I have gained during my limited life time against the accepted practice of the billions of people that have come before me. Beliefs are fine but are only an act of faith untested by the future. I tend to agree. The appeal to me is that it's a spiritual union telling the entire world that you've vowed to love one another through thick and thin for eternity. It's a high ideal to strive for, and I'm all about high ideals. In more practical terms, for most, it's a sensible arrangement for raising children, because most people don't want "bastard"/illegitimate children, want to provide a stable framework in which children can thrive. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GeorgiaPeach1 Posted August 13, 2020 Share Posted August 13, 2020 On 8/11/2020 at 10:48 PM, basil67 said: The internet is a festering wound of animosity - gender, politics, religion....it's where all the crazies live. Real life still has crazies, but far less of them. It's really not so bad. And I agree that marriage can be a beautiful thing. We may not be technically married, but we consider ourselves married and life is good. With all due respect, shacking up is not the same thing as married. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 13, 2020 Share Posted August 13, 2020 15 minutes ago, GeorgiaPeach1 said: With all due respect, shacking up is not the same thing as married. Married does have legal ramifications but people who have lived together for a long time -- years -- without being married but otherwise function as a single unit & are committed aren't exactly "playing" house. Shacking up is such a loaded antiquated phrase. Although I wanted to be married to my EX whom I lived with for 10 years because he didn't believe in marriage, we were committed. People treated us like one unit. We interacted with family & nobody treated me as anything less than an in-law even though we didn't have the piece of paper. I was included in holidays, invited to weddings, expected to pull my weight etc. Somebody who wants to be married -- like I did -- that is a valid choice but not wanting to be married is also valid. It's only a problem when the two people involved have opposite views. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 13, 2020 Share Posted August 13, 2020 36 minutes ago, GeorgiaPeach1 said: What qualities does your wife have that made you change your mind on getting married again? Where do I begin? She is just a genuinely all around great person. If I listed the things that make her great I would be here all day. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
pepperbird2 Posted August 13, 2020 Share Posted August 13, 2020 I've been married a long time now, an d it's certainly had its ups and downs. Would I get married again? Probably not. Not because I'm not happy, but because I see marriage as being such a strong commitment, not just a piece of paper. When we got married, we were piss ass broke. Right out of uni., not much sense of direction in life. In some ways, we grew up together. I know it might not make sense to anyone else, but we really are a unit of "one". I don't think I want to do all that again. I don't think I'd even date. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted August 13, 2020 Share Posted August 13, 2020 Yes - in marriage you figuratively sacrifice your individual self in service to the fully bonded union. In other words, the needs of the relationship trump your own personal needs. Two become one. I guess most marriages fail because most people don't get this and don't live up to it. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted August 13, 2020 Share Posted August 13, 2020 2 hours ago, GeorgiaPeach1 said: This is sociopathic behavior. And where did your degree in psychology? 2 hours ago, GeorgiaPeach1 said: What is/was your relationship like with your mother? Just curious. Pretty average through my childhood. I talked to her this morning, as a matter of fact. I did leave home on my 18th birthday, but that was based on my desire to be nomadic. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted August 13, 2020 Share Posted August 13, 2020 (edited) It very much is possible to be happily married and still remain an individual. Edited August 13, 2020 by Woggle 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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