zig Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 (edited) Recently a family member was involved in an accident. Thankfully, they are expected to make close to a full recovery. That's the most important part for sure. However, there are other issues like finances, loss of my work hours because I'm taking care of the person who was injured etc. I try not to worry about money but this will be a substantial financial setback. It's hard to get my mind off things, like what if, if only this was done different, you know, the little details of the day of the accident that would have made things different. I just want to move on and stop my mind from thinking in circles about the what if's. I don't feel happy lately and have been a little depressed. It's horrible because in general I'm a very satisfied and happy person. I know many, many people have been through a lot worse and made it through to the other side. I would love to hear some advice about moving on in life after something traumatic happens and how to get your mind to stop thinking about it. When I close my eyes at night all I see is a picture of what happened playing over and over again. Edited August 12, 2020 by zig Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 If you can't afford to take time off to help this person, you have to tell them this. Make other arrangements. Get the rest of the family involved. When the dark thoughts slip in, go back to your mantra that the person is OK & that's the most important thing. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 Sorry to hear this. Do you live with this family member? Do you or they have car/health insurance? Can you hire some nursing, home attendant, physical therapy help and go back to work, attending to things on your off hrs? Link to post Share on other sites
FMW Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 Are there no other options for the care of this person other than you and the resulting financial fallout that would bring for you? As for the rest, when we experience something traumatic it takes some time to get past that. I've had a few of those experiences myself in recent years, and although they could have turned out much worse, they still affected me deeply. The what if thinking and depression is a normal outflow of that traumatic experience. It will pass, it will just take some time. In the meantime, practice refocusing your thoughts, as d0nnivain suggested. Link to post Share on other sites
Happy Lemming Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 Many years ago, I was dating a woman that had a bad accident. Her mother was very sick and the father took care of the mother, so they couldn't help. I took her in. She stayed in my master bedroom, as there was a master bath very close. I couldn't afford to take time off of work. So, I made her breakfast, then stocked a cooler with drinks, sandwich, etc. for lunch, then made her dinner when I got home. I moved a TV and VCR into the bedroom and rented movies for her to watch, along with some over the air programs. I called from time to time during the day to check on her. It wasn't an ideal situation, but we made the best of it and she eventually recovered. She never complained about anything, and was thankful for all the help I had given her. Yes, her finances were destroyed from the accident, but her company kept her job open until she could return. Slowly but surely, she dug herself out of this financial hole. You can't fix everything. All you can do is your best with the resources at your disposal. In the end, it will all work out... give it time. Blue skies... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
usa1ah Posted August 12, 2020 Share Posted August 12, 2020 Work and talking it out is the best course. Get back to work if you can. Can others step in during the day to help out? No one can be a 24/7 caretaker with out ill effects. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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