gcp Posted August 13, 2020 Share Posted August 13, 2020 Here's the link to my break up post. I am struggling tonight. It's been 7 days since she left and since we last talked. As she was leaving she mentioned that would could talk about it the next day, but I declined. I told her I didn't really feel the need to hear how I crappy boyfriend again. But tonight I am having second thoughts. I want to talk to her, see where shes at. I know I shouldn't and I won't, but its just one of those days. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 13, 2020 Share Posted August 13, 2020 I'm sorry. I wasn't on 9 hours ago when you reached out. Talking isn't going to fix this. She doesn't have the words to ease your pain. If she did you might not have broken up. It's hard but every day is a step forward in your healing process Hang in there 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author gcp Posted August 17, 2020 Author Share Posted August 17, 2020 After 11 days of NC I am feeling more embarrassed and ashamed in myself for not walking away months before. i should have walked away when I saw her insecurities and jealousy were draining me. The constant reassurance or defending myself when I did nothing wrong. I should have walked away when she lashed out and told me maybe I was too broken to love. i should have walked away when she told me she can see why my ex cheated on me. i should have walked away when she actually admitted that I wasn’t a bad boyfriend but she just “needs more” hind sight is 20/20 2 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 18, 2020 Share Posted August 18, 2020 You did eventually walk away. So good for you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author gcp Posted August 18, 2020 Author Share Posted August 18, 2020 Well, she is the one who left, I just didn't chase or beg. I am proud of that. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted August 18, 2020 Share Posted August 18, 2020 It sucks. I'm 2 months post breakup, doing well, but sometimes I miss that grump. Hang in there. Time is the great healer. Don't beat yourself up about it. You're a loving person who tried to love. What more can we do? Get your mind right and the rest of your life falls into place. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 18, 2020 Share Posted August 18, 2020 You really dodged a bullet. Every day wake up and thank yourself for this. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author gcp Posted August 18, 2020 Author Share Posted August 18, 2020 Is there a term for when someone makes you feel so much like a terrible person you actually start to believe them? When very issue in the relationship is your fault or short comings according to them? Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 18, 2020 Share Posted August 18, 2020 5 minutes ago, gcp said: Is there a term for when someone makes you feel so much like a terrible person you actually start to believe them? When very issue in the relationship is your fault or short comings according to them? "Gaslighting" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
NC-Thomas Posted August 19, 2020 Share Posted August 19, 2020 (edited) You need to move on and accept what is. Edited August 20, 2020 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Removed commercial link Link to post Share on other sites
Author gcp Posted August 21, 2020 Author Share Posted August 21, 2020 I am working on that, I still have my ups and downs but we have only been apart for a couple weeks. She only seemed to be caring when she broke me down to the point where I felt like a complete piece of sh*t. Only then would she be somewhat empathetic. God it feels like I can finally breathe. I just gotta remind myself, there's two people in a relationship. I own my short comings and definitely could have handling my own actions better, but it was not all my fault. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted August 21, 2020 Share Posted August 21, 2020 2 minutes ago, gcp said: I am working on that, I still have my ups and downs but we have only been apart for a couple weeks. She only seemed to be caring when she broke me down to the point where I felt like a complete piece of sh*t. Only then would she be somewhat empathetic. God it feels like I can finally breathe. I just gotta remind myself, there's two people in a relationship. I own my short comings and definitely could have handling my own actions better, but it was not all my fault. Based on the part I italicized and some of your other stuff I read, I doubt it was even mostly your fault. Cut yourself a lot of slack and understand that you dodged a bullet, indeed. There are loads of great women out there; she doesn't sound like one of them. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted August 21, 2020 Share Posted August 21, 2020 it is what it is... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Watercolors Posted August 21, 2020 Share Posted August 21, 2020 52 minutes ago, gcp said: I am working on that, I still have my ups and downs but we have only been apart for a couple weeks. She only seemed to be caring when she broke me down to the point where I felt like a complete piece of sh*t. Only then would she be somewhat empathetic. God it feels like I can finally breathe. I just gotta remind myself, there's two people in a relationship. I own my short comings and definitely could have handling my own actions better, but it was not all my fault. She's 25 years old. That's very young. Hardly enough time in the real world as an independent adult. You are 32 years old. Have you considered dating women in their 30s instead of women in their 20s? Women in their 20s can be extremely immature. Maybe stay away from younger women than yourself and try dating older women who are more mature and independent. Link to post Share on other sites
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