Author Jamesones10123 Posted August 16, 2020 Author Share Posted August 16, 2020 1 hour ago, Prudence V said: You don’t mention how old the kids are, but I’m guessing that they’re at least old enough for you to explain in some age-appropriate way that the way your wife is treating you is making you unhappy and that you’d rather be a great dad than an unhappy one. You can probably get assistance from your local council to find somewhere to live, and some care, and in your position where your wife isn’t interested in changing, I’d simply go ahead and organise it and present her with the done deal when she’s no longer in a position to scupper it. The kids are 15. 13 and 10. The oldest knows the way she treats me is wrong. Hes picked up on it a few times. So he understands more than the other two. I do everything for the kids and would never upset them in any way. Hence why i've stuck it out this long. As i dont want them to have seperate parents. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jamesones10123 Posted August 16, 2020 Author Share Posted August 16, 2020 3 hours ago, Prudence V said: You don’t mention how old the kids are, but I’m guessing that they’re at least old enough for you to explain in some age-appropriate way that the way your wife is treating you is making you unhappy and that you’d rather be a great dad than an unhappy one. You can probably get assistance from your local council to find somewhere to live, and some care, and in your position where your wife isn’t interested in changing, I’d simply go ahead and organise it and present her with the done deal when she’s no longer in a position to scupper it. The kids are 15. 13 and 10. The oldest knows the way she physically and mentally treats me is wrong as he is older. Not quite sure about the other two tho. I adore them deeply and wouldnt want to hurt them in any way. Hence why im still here as i dont want them to have two seperate parents as i know the conflict can be difficult. Link to post Share on other sites
FudgeSwirl Posted August 16, 2020 Share Posted August 16, 2020 9 hours ago, Jamesones10123 said: Yes i could get help from the nhs. But the wife says that she can do it as shes my carer. But then expects me to do it. I have asked her about counselling. She said she didnt want anyone interfering in our marriage. Thats why we tried doing it ourselves online. She told me yesterday that "im boring" im not quite sure what she expects me to do or what she wants. As when i questioned it she didnt answer. No matter what she says since you are entitled to an aid through NHS go for it. You are the one with the disability and you have every right to extra help even if she is your carer. Resistance to outside help, lack of communication, and insulting you without it being warranted are not acceptable forms of behavior even if there was no disability involved. The fact that she couldn't explain why she said you were boring shows her intention was just to be hurtful without reason. Link to post Share on other sites
Veronica73 Posted August 16, 2020 Share Posted August 16, 2020 Maybe she finds him boring because he is bored. I find it hard to understand how a person can be bored. Link to post Share on other sites
CautiouslyOptimistic Posted August 16, 2020 Share Posted August 16, 2020 7 minutes ago, Veronica73 said: Maybe she finds him boring because he is bored. I find it hard to understand how a person can be bored. Same. I wish I had time and "everything caught up" so I could actually experience boredom! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Pumaza Posted August 22, 2020 Share Posted August 22, 2020 Tell her to go therapy with you because you have this concerns.And if she go.or no,you go to figure things out. And pray about it do God can guide you and your marriage Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jamesones10123 Posted August 22, 2020 Author Share Posted August 22, 2020 Update:: a few weeks ago we had an argument about me not helping around the house. Even tho i help with most things when i can. Anyway wife wanted to decorate during lockdown and as i cant do it i suggested we get in decorators. But wife said she will do it. So she started then said she couldnt paint the ceiling so i tried my best to try and paint it autting down on the floor with an extra long roller pole but i still couldnt do it.. then she wanted me to go to the diy store and get some gloss but as i was in isolation and it was not safe for me to go to the shops. I told her this but apparently i gave her back chat and she locked me out of the house when i was at the diy store. So i came back and had to leave the paint on the doorstep as i coudlnt get back into the house as she piled things up against the door. So i had to stay out 4 hours in the car until i could find somewhere to go. I then tried to come back home and she left me a bag of things on the doorstep so i had to try and find a place to stay overnight. The next day she wanted me to have food with the kids. So i had food with them and they told me that they was upset because they thought that i left them ( obvs what she told them). So i had to put them right and tell them what happened. But now i have stayed here since i feel as tho i still dont want to be here and i dont know what to do. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 22, 2020 Share Posted August 22, 2020 Can you get divorced? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Jamesones10123 Posted August 22, 2020 Author Share Posted August 22, 2020 53 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Can you get divorced? Not sure how to go about telling her tho. And dont know how to do it as im with her 24/7 Link to post Share on other sites
dangerous Posted August 29, 2020 Share Posted August 29, 2020 Your update, she is abusing you! I say, You must decide: are you going to be her doormat forever? Or stand up to her, and tell her this behaviour is unacceptable, and threaten to leave if it does not. Then you have to do it. it takes courage to make big decisions, but only YOU can decide what you can live with. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
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