Terrified to send my daughter to school

[princessaurora]

My daughter is going into 1st grade and her school will not be requiring masks since they only run pre-k-1st. I will still have her wear one, but if it's not mandatory, I know the teachers will not enforce it.  They were supposed to start this week but pushed beginning of classes to mid September. Covid is still widespread where we live and I am so scared she'll bring it home. My husband is pretty healthy, but he does have diabetes and slightly high blood pressure. They are offering Virtual School as an alternative, but they must login 4 hrs a day M-F which I can't do with her because I work full time. I looked into having someone keep her and make sure she does her schoolwork but they all want $30-50 an hour! That's more than I make in a month. I could quit my job, but it's been my career for 20 years and it would be very difficult for me to walk away. I thought about doing it for 2 hours in the morning before I go to work and 2 hours in the afternoon, but I can't see getting her to stay focused that late. I don't have any family members that live near me other than my parents and they don't have the patience to deal with making sure my daughter logs in and does her work daily. But i know i'm going to live in a state of stress wondering if every cough or sneeze that come from her is the virus. I just don't know what to do and if anyone can think of something I haven't yet, please let me know. 

[basil67]

@princessaurora if she was going to attend school remotely, perhaps your husband could be the one to reduce his hours.  There's no reason why the father can't do the caring duties.

[princessaurora]

20 minutes ago, basil67 said:

@princessaurora if she was going to attend school remotely, perhaps your husband could be the one to reduce his hours.  There's no reason why the father can't do the caring duties.

He works for the government, so unfortunately that is not an option. I wish it was. He works 8:30-5:30, just like I do.  

[clia]

Can your daughter wear a mask at home?

Or some of the parents in my area are putting together "learning pods" with 3-5 kids, and hiring someone to aid the kids with the virtual instruction.  That way, they can split the cost of the teacher among a few different families.  Maybe look into something like that?  You definitely aren't the only one with these problems.

[schlumpy]

Can you afford to sent her off to boarding school?

I know that sounds extreme but the only way to protect your husband is for her not to go back and forth to school each day. If you refuse to send her, the authorities will be knocking on the door and you could lose her anyway along with a legal bill that may be the same amount you would pay for boarding school.

I have to agree that your husband is in a higher risk category so your fears are not unfounded but there is a price to pay for safety. It may only last another year if a vaccine comes out. Can you swing that? Are you willing to borrow the money?

You have to decide if it's worth it or not.

[d0nnivain]

You have 2 choices as far as I can tell:  

1.  Get over your fear / concerns & hope for the best 

or 

2.  Get a different job.  Since you don't make the $30-$50 per hour the minders charge to watch your daughter virtually learn perhaps you can perform that function for another family.  Sounds like you will make more money 

[lana-banana]

You sound like a very responsible, loving, and dedicated mother. I would be scared too. Have you checked in with neighbors to see what they're doing? Like clia said, you might find families who are in the same boat and looking for solutions. 

[princessaurora]

4 hours ago, clia said:

Can your daughter wear a mask at home?

Or some of the parents in my area are putting together "learning pods" with 3-5 kids, and hiring someone to aid the kids with the virtual instruction.  That way, they can split the cost of the teacher among a few different families.  Maybe look into something like that?  You definitely aren't the only one with these problems.

My daughter is comfortable wearing a mask, but i'm afraid at school if noone else is doing it, she'll feel weird and remove it. And if she's wearing it all day I can't expect her to leave it on till she goes to bed every night, I'll have to look into the group thing. Thanks:)

[princessaurora]

4 hours ago, schlumpy said:

Can you afford to sent her off to boarding school?

I know that sounds extreme but the only way to protect your husband is for her not to go back and forth to school each day. If you refuse to send her, the authorities will be knocking on the door and you could lose her anyway along with a legal bill that may be the same amount you would pay for boarding school.

I have to agree that your husband is in a higher risk category so your fears are not unfounded but there is a price to pay for safety. It may only last another year if a vaccine comes out. Can you swing that? Are you willing to borrow the money?

You have to decide if it's worth it or not.

I can't do that. We adopted her and she has a lot of abandonment issues. I would quit my job and stay home with her before I resorted to that. 

[princessaurora]

4 hours ago, d0nnivain said:

You have 2 choices as far as I can tell:  

1.  Get over your fear / concerns & hope for the best 

or 

2.  Get a different job.  Since you don't make the $30-$50 per hour the minders charge to watch your daughter virtually learn perhaps you can perform that function for another family.  Sounds like you will make more money 

I've seen so many people get this virus and what it''s done to them, I won't get over my fear easily. 

I've actally thought about option 2, but I have great benefits and insurance and it would be such a drastic change. 

But definitely a,possibility. 

Thanks:)

[d0nnivain]

I don't have kids but I get your fear.  There are no good or easy choices.  

Maybe look into the pod thing.  

[princessaurora]

3 hours ago, lana-banana said:

You sound like a very responsible, loving, and dedicated mother. I would be scared too. Have you checked in with neighbors to see what they're doing? Like clia said, you might find families who are in the same boat and looking for solutions. 

Thank you:)

I have and they're all sending their kids. Most of them have the "everyone is going to get it eventually"attitude and don't think it's a big deal. 

 

[mark clemson]

The risk of hospitalization is low, the article linked below cites 8 in 100,000. Presumably, the risk of death is lower than that. I heard somewhere that 90 school age children have died in the US from COVID, although I'm not sure that's accurate. But, given the number that have likely been exposed, the risk appears to be low.

If it was me, I would be more worried about them bringing it home and transmitting it to an adult in your family, such as a grandparent. But by all means do what you see fit or necessary to ease your mind.

[mark clemson]

Forgot link - duh.

https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/volumes/69/wr/mm6932e3.htm?s

[thefooloftheyear]

When the lockdown took place and my kids school transitioned to "virtual" at home learning back in March, at the end of the year, I asked her what she thought of the program...She looked at me sideways, then said "you want to know the truth or do you want me to tell you what you want to hear"....I said I want the truth(obviously)...she quickly responded.. "complete joke"..😒

I think some are forgetting the other aspects of the school experience beyond classwork/studies...The getting up on time, getting dressed, meeting deadlines.. physical activity, the social interactions...etc...Even before the virus/lockdown younger kids are spending WAYYY too much time just staring at screens....This is just compounding what is already a serious  societal problem....

I just think the negatives staying locked in, far outweigh the negatives of going back to school in as safe as a way as possible.. If parents have prevailing conditions that may be reversed through different habits, diet and exercise, now is the time to get that in order..

I can't tell anyone how to raise their kids, that's their business, but maybe just try to see it from all angles instead of focusing on the one potential hazard, as limited as it is ...

Good luck..

TFY

[princessaurora]

39 minutes ago, mark clemson said:

The risk of hospitalization is low, the article linked below cites 8 in 100,000. Presumably, the risk of death is lower than that. I heard somewhere that 90 school age children have died in the US from COVID, although I'm not sure that's accurate. But, given the number that have likely been exposed, the risk appears to be low.

If it was me, I would be more worried about them bringing it home and transmitting it to an adult in your family, such as a grandparent. But by all means do what you see fit or necessary to ease your mind.

I am mostly concerned about my husband, and our parents.  My coworker's husband passed away 2 months ago from it. He had no preexisiting conditions and was ony 51. In this area, our death rate has been pretty high. My friend who is a diabetic just got over it and she had a very difficult time, She almost had to be hospitalized. I know it's nothing to play with it and don't want to do anything to put my family at risk. I wish her school required masks. It would make this decsion alot easier. 

[Ruby Slippers]

9 hours ago, clia said:

Or some of the parents in my area are putting together "learning pods" with 3-5 kids, and hiring someone to aid the kids with the virtual instruction.  That way, they can split the cost of the teacher among a few different families.

I like this idea. My other idea, if you're able to work from home, is to talk to your employer about working half days from home and half days in the office. Or you could see about switching her to a school with better practices in place.

[princessaurora]

25 minutes ago, thefooloftheyear said:

When the lockdown took place and my kids school transitioned to "virtual" at home learning back in March, at the end of the year, I asked her what she thought of the program...She looked at me sideways, then said "you want to know the truth or do you want me to tell you what you want to hear"....I said I want the truth(obviously)...she quickly responded.. "complete joke"..😒

I think some are forgetting the other aspects of the school experience beyond classwork/studies...The getting up on time, getting dressed, meeting deadlines.. physical activity, the social interactions...etc...Even before the virus/lockdown younger kids are spending WAYYY too much time just staring at screens....This is just compounding what is already a serious  societal problem....

I just think the negatives staying locked in, far outweigh the negatives of going back to school in as safe as a way as possible.. If parents have prevailing conditions that may be reversed through different habits, diet and exercise, now is the time to get that in order..

I can't tell anyone how to raise their kids, that's their business, but maybe just try to see it from all angles instead of focusing on the one potential hazard, as limited as it is ...

Good luck..

TFY

I don't keep them cooped up in the house all the time.  We ride bikes amd walk around the neighborhood. We wear mask and practice social distancing if we go anywhere. . We actually went on a trip over the 4th to the mountains, but we had our own cabin and avoided all the really busy areas. I don't want their social lives to suffer, but i don't want them to lose their parents or grandparents to something that should have never ravaged this world in the first place. My oldest daughter is only 19. I wouldn't want to put her in a position to raise her siblings though I know she would if it came to that. The school is not going to let them socialize from what we've been told. They'll be no recesses or after school care. It's just the idea of an entire school of kids running around with no masks makes me sick to my stomach when we know this virus is all around us. 

[princessaurora]

15 minutes ago, endlessabyss said:

Apologies.

I thought you said you could leave if you wanted.

I just feel for children.  They are left to the state to take care of, while the parents are out working, just making enough to get by.

Kids are very innocent; truly the only bright spot of this existence we live.

They need their parents; especially in these times.

I could but relying on one income in the state of the economy is a little risky imo. It's so sad our children have to live through these unprecedented times:(

 

[princessaurora]

4 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said:

I like this idea. My other idea, if you're able to work from home, is to talk to your employer about working half days from home and half days in the office. Or you could see about switching her to a school with better practices in place.

I am a banker so working from home is not an option, unfortunately. Right now, I meet with my clients through plexiglass at the branch. I'll have to look into the pod thing. I'm also going to reach out on fb and see if someone might be willing to do it for a more reasonable price. You never know. It's worth a shot. As for switching schools, none of them are mandating masks  under 3rd grade, so that won't help in this case. 

[pianomanwoman]

I don't have any children. As my mother's daughter, I talk to her often.  If I was 9 years old again, she would keep me out of school for as long as it took to find a vaccine.  You can get a private tutor or homeschool your children.  I wouldnt even hesitate or worry. Don't let your kids make the decision with their lives. Youre the momma. Be a parent and protect your kids until they are adults.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

On 8/14/2020 at 1:01 PM, mark clemson said:

 I heard somewhere that 90 school age children have died in the US from COVID,

 

Uh, that is data from times when mostly nobody was IN SCHOOL.

(schools here closed on March 12, back when the U.S. had 1050 confirmed cases, and near when all deaths in all of The Americas were connected to a 3-mile radius in a small city on the west coast)

Much like the entire Covid data from around the world now is data from when mostly nobody is TRAVELING around the world.

 

All of the clowns out there haven't even given any thought to what happens when they really return to "normal life".

[QuietRiot]

You know, they've shut down some schools as soon as they started due to an outbreak, yes?  I think Georgia was one of them.  I guess you could say the kids are sadly the guinea pigs for what is about to occur.

[Wiseman2]

You could give a senior HS or college student a great job by having them come over to baby-sit/tutor.

Look into it because you seem opposed to every other alternative.

[schlumpy]

You either sacrifice something in your life for your fears or you send her off to school with a hope and prayer.

The odds are on your side.