Did I do something wrong ?

[xRikka]

Sorry if it’s not in the right topics if not feel

Free to move the topic to where it belongs .

 

I wanted to see what  others think of this situation , Me and my partner fight a lot and I’ve been trying to not talk to him much about my day at work because we always end up fighting .

 

So I was at work today I work in a pub so right now with the covid 19 all pubs need someone at the door to sign everyone in and that was my job all day at the door. There was this group of regular that drink here some came in order there regular beer but later this other guy came late order the beers but came back later with the beers and said it was flat and was wondering if he can change it . There was three beers and he said if we can’t his happy to pay I was at the bar passing by  and I heard and the manager was there but she was occupied I heard what he said so I told the manager he wanted to swap 3 for something and get extra beer( mind you the staff at the bar serving is kind of lazy don’t care and careless not very attention to detail but she was the one serving) so I let the manager deal with it. Later I had to make sure the staff was doing the correct thing I said so you swapped the beers did you write them up that it was given away she said yes then I asked did you charge them for the fourth one and she said she didn’t . So I said ok you’re suppose to and I was gonna leave it and explain to the manager if she wasn’t gonna get the money but she went and got it. So we were doing our jobs with whatever they buy need to be paid and with the beers the friends knew the beer was flat but didn’t tell the guy so that why he made the mistake and bought it and came

Back and the thing is no one else complained about it beside them.

 

That the first part of the story now to the main story , I told my bf how my day was and said you’re friends not his close friends but people he see time to Time. I told him about this is what happens and after I told him he went crazy and said I didn’t know how to do my job I don’t know how to keep my customer , you’re staff made the mistake , who goes and chases someone for a beer they didn’t pay when there regular . And he went crazy at me when I told him it’s not me I was at the door , I can’t just give a beer away I’ll get Introuble I need to do the right thing follow the rules and whatever the manger and big boss says. And he says you know there my friend why are you being a tight ass over this and I’m telling you don’t ever do this again , this is not how you do business when they are regulars over a glass a beer you should let go . And I said I’m just a staff I can’t decide give free beers  and I’m not manager what do you want me to do ? And I said if you so angry about it talk to the boss. And he kept lashing at me and it really upset me and I want to know did I do anything wrong. I said to him I’m doing my job I don’t have the power And even if you’re friend it’s got nothing to do and I don’t even know them they don’t say hi or anything . And he kept saying I’m cheap skate and the work is cheap skate . I just want know everyone opinion on this 

[d0nnivain]

The fact that he "went crazy" and you always fight tells me this is a dysfunctional relationship.  He totally overreacted to his friend being charged for a beer.  He sounds like a hot head who doesn't respect you

[schlumpy]

Geez, you guys take the bar tab to a new level.

Why the heck is he this interested in one beer or your work policies? Doesn't he have work rules to follow also? How is he not seeing same and similar.

If this is who he is and you've been putting up with this then you need to reconsider.

If this was surprise event and not normal behavior then you still need to reconsider because something is going on outside your relationship that you know nothing about.

[Fletch Lives]

Some guys (and gals) don't know how to treat a partner. It would have been better if he would just listen to you instead of trying to change you. 

[Wiseman2]

Do you live together? What are all the fights about? Don't talk about work. However, it seems he just enjoys arguing, putting you down and being generally antagonistic and verbally abusive. Unless you enjoy this pain and humiliation, walk away.

[mark clemson]

I'm not disagreeing with other posters above. Consider that, possibly, if you talk a lot about issues at work he is frustrated in that it sounds to him like you have issues that you don't resolve that you could resolve if you tried harder or tried in a different way. IF that's the case, it doesn't excuse him venting on you about it, but possibly that is part of it. Possibly he is just mad and looking for an excuse to vent.

You might consider finding a female friend to talk to about "stuff from work" for a while. Do it with him only occasionally or balance it out with positive things.

[IndigoNight]

It sounds like you take your job very seriously. Did you serve the free beer to the customer? If not,  why was it your responsibility to handle it. If a manager was serving him, you might make mention of the mistake,  and then let her handle it.

I managed bars for over a decade, and from your post it sounds like you're doing more than your job. I get it. You want to do a good job. And avoid problems.  Learn this phrase "its above my pay grade" and "speak to the manager if you have a problem"

As for how your boy (I stress boy) friend handled it, he was more upset than the situation warranted. By far!

Seriously though,  if your job is causing so much stress at work, and home, consider working somewhere else. Preferably in a more laid back environment where your job duties are clearly defined. Trust me, one beer will never be worth the stress you exhibited in your post.  Something has to change. Either figure out how to do your job without babysitting other employees, or let them make their mistakes and deal with  the fallout.  Just nention "so and so should have been comped, or charged, for that beer." Then go back to your job at the door.  If you get any grief "I told so and so about it. I can't just leave my post  unattended to chase down someone, can I? How should i handle it in the future? "

At home, work gripes should have a time limit (5-15 minutes is usually plenty). You listen to one another,  then say "sorry you had a rough day" sincerely, and move on with your evening. 

If you or he need more time, or advice, ask for it. As soon as advice turns into a lecture, politely end the conversation. This is something you both must agree to, and actually to.. it helped my marriage, and kept work from destroying west little time we had together at home.

I have no doubt that you're a great employee, and loving girlfriend.  You might want to work on prioritizing you more.  Don't try to solve everything at work. Its above your pay grade

 Don't vent about work, and dubbe you'r boyfriend a chance to maybe you feel even wise about how things went at work.  

My days were often "Work sucked. How about we watch a movie tonight" on the really hard days,  he listened,  because he knew how bad it must have been if i needed more than a few minutes to vent.

Hope i made sense.  Lacking sleep and coffee.

[Pumaza]

But something dont add up.

You was at the bar,passing by?,🙄😄

And it wasnt you,but you was the one bringing this up to the manager and others.

What is your real job there? Is it part of your position to keep a eye on others and report it? Eventhou its business, if you are the kind of person who always have to """snitch", people will get annoyed.

This sound more like your boyfreind is annoyed about certain behaviour that he dont agree with and that he also see in his relationship. He doesnt think same as you about stuff.

If there is always fights,maybe its time to move on,breakup.

[spiderowl]

The OP was just doing her best to ensure the customers got a fair deal.  At the moment, due to covid rules, people in the UK are required to leave contact details with the pub if they want to go in.  This is not the pub's rule; it is a Government ruling.  This is what the OP was doing.  As the customer then mentioned to her that his beer was flat, she felt she ought to follow up (which is being responsible and good customer service).

OP, your boyfriend should not treat you like this.  He was rude and insulting.  He was also belittling, implying you didn't know how to do your job and that you were not taking responsibility for something that was not your responsibility.  If he dislikes the pub's policies, he should be haranguing the manager not you.  It sounds like he is an angry, frustrated guy for some reason.  Maybe he hates his job.

You haven't done anything wrong but your partner is by having a go at you.  If you cannot talk to your partner at the end of the day without there being an argument, then you need to consider whether he's the right guy for you.  Why should you have to put up with such treatment from someone who is supposed to love you?  If this is what he is like when he is only your boyfriend, what would he be like if you got married and had children depending on you?  It does not sound as though he'd be remotely supportive.