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At wits and hearts end


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I am not sure what to do. My wife of 5 years (together for more than 10 years) wants a divorce. There’s obviously a lengthy back story that for the sake of this post I won’t delve into; but suffice it to say that while we’re cordial there is no hope for reconciliation. Here’s the rub: we live out of state, under the same roof, and share co-parenting responsibility for our young son. 

I’m still heartbroken over her desire to leave me and move on. I realize that there are no words or actions I could take to undo her emotional departure. We’re trying to coordinate a cross-country move to relocate closer to both our families (a move I support) but this being in addition to a separation. I know I need to move on and it’s so difficult when it feels like we’re stuck together. Moving across the country with a small child while simultaneously divorcing (diving assets, debts, etc) just seems so insurmountable. Has anyone experienced anything quite like this? I’m at a total loss for how to proceed..

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Type "cheater 180" into your browser. The 180 program will help you detach from your feelings so you can make decisions that are in your best interest.

Since everything is decided you will have to grieve and endure until time has put some distance between you and this terrible life event.

Sorry you are here.

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One of my childhood friends experienced this with her parents.  They moved her and her brother back to where their families were on the opposite side of the country and even bought houses just a few blocks from each other.  She was still upset about her parents splitting but having her parents living close by helped her maintain close relationships with them both and being near her immediate families helped.

I'm sorry you have to deal with a move and divorce at the same time.  I wish I could give you better advice on how to handle both at the same time but maybe you can discuss what you and your spouse want to do first - take care of the divorce and then move or move and then take care of the divorce.  Having  a plan may take a little stress off you.

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Have you consulted an attorney regarding advice about how to manage the move, division of assets and child support? Have you enlisted the help of your family to assist with your move?

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I’m no help at all, just want you to know your not alone. I’m basically going through the same thing. My husband asked for a divorce but is will to wait until we get to our next location At the beginning of the year to actually file for divorce. But In the mean time we are coexisting in the same household. To say the least it to hard. 

Edited by Mackenzie12
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