JDavisPDX Posted August 18, 2020 Share Posted August 18, 2020 Hey Group, I got a really weird situation that has me baffled, looking for a little insight on this. Quick backstory... Meet her in 2018, shes immediately interested. Takes me time to warm up to her because I am pretty cautious after crap in prior relationships. We spend two years talking extensively and in 2020 at an event we made things official on Aug 1. She was hardcore into me literally for two years and we basically went into this knowing each other pretty well after talking extensively over the last two years. She lives a couple hours away, which isn't a huge deal since I can always move closer since I am self employed and work from home anyways. On Tuesday I make a Facebook post that I am going to one of two beaches to photograph a sunset. She messages me letting me know shes going camping (shes an Army vet) at one of the beaches so naturally I make plans to go up and see her. We end up camping out, shes super lovey dovey and very open about the future and what not, what she hopes for and wants, ect. On Thursday we exchange a few messages, but she goes quiet and isn't reading my messages anymore. On Friday, she makes a Facebook post about how shes leaving the state and moving to Alabama from Washington and looks forward to being close to family. However she also hid this Facebook post so I couldn't see it. I found out when a number of mutual friends messaged me asking what was going on. There was zero red flags, no warnings. She isn't the type to get into a relationship if shes got other plans. Essentially, there was nothing to even slightly suggest she had planned on leaving. So here I am, blindsided. I called and texted her, left a voicemail, nothing in response. Shes been on Facebook, no response. Posted pictures of the camping trip, including with me in them and her status still shows as in a relationship with me but shes been totally dark. She knows I know too based on the voicemail I left. Now i'm left wondering, did I manage to screw this up somehow? I feel like this was an impulsive decision made last minute as shes always been the hardcore straight shooter type. A mutual friend said he thinks shes afraid of the confrontation that will follow. At this point I am 99% sure this relationship is toast, but I need some answers from her atleast. Over the years I have seen alot of crazy things in relationships but have largely managed to avoid problems yet here I am at age 31 and we weren't even one full month into a relationship before some crazy stuff happened, lol. I'm really disappointed in her and her inability to communicate because when we started this, the two main things were to be honest and upfront, as well as be loyal and don't cheat. Anyone else have insight on this? Anyone else out there experience something insanely crazy like this? 🤣 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 19, 2020 Share Posted August 19, 2020 Is there someone else back home? Is she homesick? Link to post Share on other sites
Indestructible1991 Posted August 19, 2020 Share Posted August 19, 2020 Sounds weird but if she posted you both and kept the relationship up seems odd why she wouldn’t unless she needs some time to herself but hmmmm. id give it 3-5 days and if nothing, write her a short message and tell her you aren’t mad but you need to know where you stand.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author JDavisPDX Posted August 19, 2020 Author Share Posted August 19, 2020 18 hours ago, Wiseman2 said: Is there someone else back home? Is she homesick? Her mother lives out there, whom she has a good relationship with. Her mother is the only family she has that she is connected to. 14 hours ago, Indestructible1991 said: Sounds weird but if she posted you both and kept the relationship up seems odd why she wouldn’t unless she needs some time to herself but hmmmm. id give it 3-5 days and if nothing, write her a short message and tell her you aren’t mad but you need to know where you stand.. Its very weird and its totally abnormal for her as well. My last text that I sent her on Sunday was that I was essentially that i'm pretty confused and upset but I will give her some space for now until shes ready to talk and figure out where we stand on things. It was a pretty neutral message overall. If she wanted to be friends because she made the sudden decision to move, she should have just told me and I could have accepted that. Sure I have liked her alot, but being so fresh into a relationship its totally different than if we had been dating for over a year or something to that effect. Her Facebook still shows us in a relationship too. I really hope that she is willing to talk to me soon. Being stuck speculating and wondering about this is pretty negative honestly and if she wants to be friends I need to know so I can focus on other things instead of keeping her on my mind. Link to post Share on other sites
ShyViolet Posted August 20, 2020 Share Posted August 20, 2020 She's only been your girlfriend for like 3 weeks. This relationship has not even gotten off the ground. To do something like this, she must have some personal issues or something else going on that has nothing to do with you. Her lack of communication with you is a major red flag. Even if she does respond to your messages and talk to you about this, I would be very wary of continuing a relationship with this girl. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JDavisPDX Posted August 20, 2020 Author Share Posted August 20, 2020 Quick update: She and I ended up speaking last night and had a long conversation about what was going on and the future. We both decided that being friends would be the best route to go since she is leaving on October 1st. This relationship, while good in its intention and long in the making ended up being the victim of bad timing. I speculate that had I acted sooner, things might have turned out differently. Honestly, i'm pretty bummed because we meshed and clicked so well. But at the same time, I can see that this is something that she needs to do. Part of me suspects that after the honeymoon phase wears off of being closer to her mother again, she will realize what she had and gave up when she decided to move away. We agreed though that if she ever returns up here and we are both single, maybe we can see where things lead us but a long distance relationship isn't in our own personal best interest. Normally with a relationship, if it ended so soon i'd be inclined to simply shrug it off and move along without issue but I think what makes this tough is that after two years of constant flirting back and forth and having that intense dynamic between us, it feels more like something that was long term is coming to an end. But i'm glad we will still be able to talk and keep in contact and now I have a sense of direction in life. At this point now that I know I have no obligations to a relationship, i'm exploring the idea of joining the National Guard if my business doesn't really pick up over the next three months. She is an Army veteran, served 6 years before being medically discharged and she did not want me to enlist when I floated the idea around the time we started talking originally. I'm just glad we have a resolution because all of that wondering and speculating I was stuck doing before she and I spoke kind of sucked. Link to post Share on other sites
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