Long distance love

[Confused]

I was in a long distance relationship since August of last year and things were going great. My girlfriend called me everyday and we talked for hours on the phone. She even told me she wanted to marry me. Then in December things just changed. She cancelled her trip to see me twice, she stopped calling as frequently and it just seemed I wasn't important to her anymore. The worst thing was, she never gave me her phone number, so I thought she didn't trust me. I felt like i was being pushed away. Well by March I grew fustrated by the whole situation and had a one night stand. I was lonely and I needed someone. The relationship continued its downward spiral until mid june. I was finally able to get her to open up to me and she appoligized for treating me the way she did. She said she still loves me and in fact loves me more than ever. That blew my mind since I thought she was trying to get rid of me. My question is should i tell her about the one night stand? It was just sex for and nothing more, but i feel guilty since now she says she truly loves me and always has. I thought she didn't care so I just slept with this girl because i was lonely. Do you think I did the wrong thing? Should I confess? I know it would break her heart and she probably wouldn't trust me anymore.

[Tony T]

You probably got more loving from your one night stand than you will ever get from your long distance lady.

 

Have you ever met her in person? If you haven't, there are many reasons why she went sour on you as it got closer to the time she was supposed to visit you. Either she is married, way older or way younger than she's telling you, looks like an old Phyllis Diller without teeth, or she has a boyfriend or husband. If she sent you a picture, it was probably one she got from a friend.

 

Get wise. Forget this long distance crap. Seek psychological counselling to see why you are able to get so much satisfaction from talking to someone on the phone every day, getting jacked around by her, getting depressed, having a one nighter, getting back with her, etc....and never even seeing her. That's nuts. Your counsellor can get to the reasons why you would get more satisfaction out of a poor quality long distance relationship than you do with an in person situation.

 

If you haven't learned from this experience already and are willing to continue it without seeing her in person, you deserve every minute of hurt and pain you create for yourself. This is an absolute dead end deal.

 

Ninety-eight percent of long distance relationships are FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY, especially with cheap long distance rates and the Internet!!!

 

To answer your question, you should absolutely tell this gal you had sex with someone else. That will open things up so she can tell you the truth about what she was up to when you didn't hear from her.

 

If you can't make arrangements to see this lady within 10 (ten) days IN PERSON, you should cease all contact with her forever. I think enough time has passed.

[wombat]

you dated for almost a year and all that time you didn't have her phone number? get with the program, i would say. she didn't give you her phone number because she was either living with someone or dating someone else. guess things with that other guy didn't work out and now she's back and all nice and attentive to you. you are being played like a fiddle. find a girl who lives locally and trim your nasal hair.

I was in a long distance relationship since August of last year and things were going great. My girlfriend called me everyday and we talked for hours on the phone. She even told me she wanted to marry me. Then in December things just changed. She cancelled her trip to see me twice, she stopped calling as frequently and it just seemed I wasn't important to her anymore. The worst thing was, she never gave me her phone number, so I thought she didn't trust me. I felt like i was being pushed away. Well by March I grew fustrated by the whole situation and had a one night stand. I was lonely and I needed someone. The relationship continued its downward spiral until mid june. I was finally able to get her to open up to me and she appoligized for treating me the way she did. She said she still loves me and in fact loves me more than ever. That blew my mind since I thought she was trying to get rid of me. My question is should i tell her about the one night stand? It was just sex for and nothing more, but i feel guilty since now she says she truly loves me and always has. I thought she didn't care so I just slept with this girl because i was lonely. Do you think I did the wrong thing? Should I confess? I know it would break her heart and she probably wouldn't trust me anymore.

[Alex]

I am in a long distance relationship but, graciously I am moving so that we can be together. I don't ever recommend them. I intend to never been in one again! If this woman cannot even give you her phone number, that is a clue, that she has something to hide. Get out while you can. You have already violated the relationship with a one night stand. Long distance =pain, loneliness, heartache, phone bills, air fare, plus the regular $$ of a normal relationship!!!!!! You need to communicate and share time and grow! You say she loves you, what about you? Do you love her? If she loved you so much and missed you dearly she wouldn't even think of refusing to see you or talk to you. I know, I love my boyfriend, if he wants me to get on the plane and go be with him, I do, regardless of the costs. PLEASE talk to her, communicate, that is what a healthly relationship consists of. I honestly think you should let your feelings out and just let her know that this long distance is not working for you.

You probably got more loving from your one night stand than you will ever get from your long distance lady. Have you ever met her in person? If you haven't, there are many reasons why she went sour on you as it got closer to the time she was supposed to visit you. Either she is married, way older or way younger than she's telling you, looks like an old Phyllis Diller without teeth, or she has a boyfriend or husband. If she sent you a picture, it was probably one she got from a friend. Get wise. Forget this long distance crap. Seek psychological counselling to see why you are able to get so much satisfaction from talking to someone on the phone every day, getting jacked around by her, getting depressed, having a one nighter, getting back with her, etc....and never even seeing her. That's nuts. Your counsellor can get to the reasons why you would get more satisfaction out of a poor quality long distance relationship than you do with an in person situation.

 

If you haven't learned from this experience already and are willing to continue it without seeing her in person, you deserve every minute of hurt and pain you create for yourself. This is an absolute dead end deal. Ninety-eight percent of long distance relationships are FOR ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY, especially with cheap long distance rates and the Internet!!!

 

To answer your question, you should absolutely tell this gal you had sex with someone else. That will open things up so she can tell you the truth about what she was up to when you didn't hear from her. If you can't make arrangements to see this lady within 10 (ten) days IN PERSON, you should cease all contact with her forever. I think enough time has passed.