I feel like the Other Man

[mark clemson]

14 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

It's going to end in a spectacular garbage fire

I think it perhaps more IS a spectacular garbage fire.

My guess would be she has severe insecure attachment, with the 35 phone calls, but I of course could be wrong on that.

My thought would be to make it quick and make it stick. Phone call, some explanation for "closure" and then when she tries to reel you back in for more of her "crazy" (and she will), block her everywhere. Then take a breather and move on with your life.

I would also suggest a more age-appropriate partner next time.

[Amethyst68]

Try dating an adult and not a child!

[TaserTag]

On 11/6/2020 at 11:08 PM, AdamantyumKrystal said:

Anywayyyyyz, in these two months her "mask" started to fade.. and her true nature revealed....She is the most controlling & manipulative & remorseless girl i've had in my life till now. 

She is bat s*** crazy, literally.(schizo spectrum).

The last 2 months were aggresive man, she picked a lot of fights gradually, mostly coz i'm pretty independent and don't like being controlled , as she is obssesed with control this seemed to be a huge problem for her so she used all kind of threats and manipulations to make me submit to her will, which of course did not happen coz as i said, i do not like being controlled.

I started reading on psychopathy again and manipulation field in psychology coz she pretty much   displayed all of these red flags which started to annoy me lately and i don't like being annoyed by a 18 year old girl. Oh well , to my least surprise she displays too many traits of psychopathy

I had been too soft on her, i've let her do everything she wanted and she got too cocky and narcissistic. So now im gonna turn the page and tell her she has to change if she wants to be with me or i leave her . 

Her mother is a sociopath and her grandma was supposedly a witch. Pretty nice combo ayy????

She now has 2 choices. She either does everything i say or she becomes a single narcissist. Just recently i've found her weak spot and i'm gonna press it everytime i need to, no matter how many times she cries and tries to victimise herself. I've cried too many times for her and it was in vain, Now it's her turn.

If u guys think i'm being too rough or anything please don't reply here, First read and document yourself on the subject of female psychopathy then come and defend her but until then please don't try to take her side. I've studied 3 years on the subject of psychopathy and i devoured every information i've got in this field, i've still have much to learn , it's true but in 3 years i pretty much learned a lot. 

 

I've found this whole thread pretty disgusting, as someone who was sexually abused as a child and actually "dated" a 25-year-old "man" as a teenager, and he sounded about as mature and deranged as you do, looking back on it and rereading things that he wrote.  One day this female you are "dating" will become an adult herself and realize just how messed up you and this situation actually are.  She will hopefully grow to hate you and understand what a healthy relationship looks like.  Hopefully she doesn't let you slap labels on her, warp her sense of self, and control her.

You call her a "girl" and that is true.  She is a girl and you are a man (although not a good man or a mature man, from what I have read here).  Your age difference is enormous when it's comparing a 17-year-old with a 25-year-old.  You should be the one with the more developed brain and impulse control.  Should be.

You claim to be all up in psychology and throwing out words like "bats*** crazy," "schizo," "psychopath," "narcissist"... ranting about her and the other females in her family being "sociopaths" and "witches."  I highly doubt that you are qualified to diagnose anyone with any mental illness, but you definitely need to start worrying about diagnosing yourself and why in the world you are attracted to a teenage girl and so obsessed with figuring out how to manipulate and control her.  You talking about finding someone's weak spot and exploiting that to control them?  I've not read anything more sociopathic and pathetic than that.  Figure out why you're not dating someone your own age and instead grooming teenage girls and trying to mold them into a partner for yourself.

She does not need you to save her or save her from a toxic relationship. You are the toxic relationship.

[AdamantyumKrystal]

1 hour ago, TaserTag said:

I've found this whole thread pretty disgusting, as someone who was sexually abused as a child and actually "dated" a 25-year-old "man" as a teenager, and he sounded about as mature and deranged as you do, looking back on it and rereading things that he wrote.  One day this female you are "dating" will become an adult herself and realize just how messed up you and this situation actually are.  She will hopefully grow to hate you and understand what a healthy relationship looks like.  Hopefully she doesn't let you slap labels on her, warp her sense of self, and control her.

You call her a "girl" and that is true.  She is a girl and you are a man (although not a good man or a mature man, from what I have read here).  Your age difference is enormous when it's comparing a 17-year-old with a 25-year-old.  You should be the one with the more developed brain and impulse control.  Should be.

You claim to be all up in psychology and throwing out words like "bats*** crazy," "schizo," "psychopath," "narcissist"... ranting about her and the other females in her family being "sociopaths" and "witches."  I highly doubt that you are qualified to diagnose anyone with any mental illness, but you definitely need to start worrying about diagnosing yourself and why in the world you are attracted to a teenage girl and so obsessed with figuring out how to manipulate and control her.  You talking about finding someone's weak spot and exploiting that to control them?  I've not read anything more sociopathic and pathetic than that.  Figure out why you're not dating someone your own age and instead grooming teenage girls and trying to mold them into a partner for yourself.

She does not need you to save her or save her from a toxic relationship. You are the toxic relationship.

She was the one who started to like me first so u're wrong. I don't groom teenage girls. I don't groom girls at all tbh. I have sociopathic tendencies, i won't lie, i already told her this coz we had this conversation , she is into psychology too , she's not stupid.  

 

So you mean this"Just recently i've found her weak spot ". I actually did find her weak spot and i press it, let me give more details, when she tries to control me or manipulate me to her will, i stop the call and i tell her to call me when she is over with this b****y attitude, in other words, i demand respect! It actually worked and i see change in her. If trying to make her see the faults in her behaviour is a bad thing then i am guilty of it.

 

"She will hopefully grow to hate you and understand what a healthy relationship looks like." She carried baggage from the last toxic relationship and somehow she was trying to transform this relationship in the old toxic one aswell. If she will hate me for trying to open her eyes and make her a better person then so be it,but i'm not gonna lie to her like her ex did and abuse of her naivity. Im not that kind.

 

Besides, i told her from the beginning. I'm trying to make this relationship the best i can, if she is not happy within it she is free to go, i don't cage her down lol. I know how it feels like and i won't do it to anyone.  

 

(although not a good man or a mature man, from what I have read here). "/ I admit i'm not a kind person, not anymore. Life changed me. I had to change, im trying to become good again but it's hard, it's very hard..  

 

I was pretty angry that day when i wrote all of that. Now i'm more relaxed, and no im not controlling type. The only time i did it was to defend from her tryin to control me lol. 

 

I may be wrong tho, she may not be a psychopath, she might just schizoid but i dont know, she has many psychopathic tendencies anyways. I'm not going into detail about her childhood or personality but she is .. she is different from most of the girls. 

 

The age gap won't be a problem after she is 20+. I already stated, the start of our conversation was not for dating purposes. We were just chatting as friends. She started liking me and somehow i started liking her back.  

 

You're making a mistake Taser. Thinking women are all saints and men are evil? WHy do you empathise only from her point of view? You don't try empathising with my pov. And i admit i am pretty ******** and say dumb s*** sometimes when i get angry but i don't follow the "evil ideas" i get on the moment. I may think about 'em some time but i let it go after awhile. 

I told her pretty directly that if she keeps trying to be controlling of me i will break up with her and we will go our separate paths. You said u have in a abusive relationship. I'm sorry for that. It's normal for you to empathise more with her i know, u have been in her place, but try to empathise with the other partner too, Yes i had an abusive childhood, my mother was emotionally abusive my father was physically abusive, and sometimes i get those abusive tendencies aswell but i try my best to control them, this is what im trying to learn her also. To get to that point where she does not feel the need to control anymore. 

 

We will try to make this work, if it's not working we are gonna break up and go our own path. That is all. I know i'm f***ed up sometimes and i have my own demons to battle but that doesn't mean im like that all of the time. And slowly i believe i can let go of the toxic automatisms.

 

If any of you have any kind advices and point me to fix where i do wrong, im eager to hear and accept , have a good night everyone!

[AdamantyumKrystal]

On 11/7/2020 at 6:53 AM, ExpatInItaly said:

Dude, this is a mess. 

You are far too old for her, and you both display remarkable emotional immaturity. It makes sense at her age, but at yours? You're too old for this nonsense.  

It's going to end in a spectacular garbage fire, but since you also have unhealthy relationship habits and an odd sense of arrogance and self-righteousness, I suspect you will stick around until she leaves you for someone else. 

If i keep going with toxic habbits of course, It's meant to end in flames . We hadn't had fights anymore and seems to be ok for now. IF in the next months things get bad and nothing works im going to break up with her. I'm not staying in a relationship that doesn't make me happy  and neither will she (hope so). Ofc im too old for this bulls*** , exactly why i don't wanna continue bulls***ing lol. It's either gonna work or it's not ,pretty simple. 

[TaserTag]

14 minutes ago, AdamantyumKrystal said:

She was the one who started to like me first so u're wrong.

You're making a mistake Taser. Thinking women are all saints and men are evil? WHy do you empathise only from her point of view? You don't try empathising with my pov. And i admit i am pretty ******** and say dumb s*** sometimes when i get angry but i don't follow the "evil ideas" i get on the moment. I may think about 'em some time but i let it go after awhile. 

I told her pretty directly that if she keeps trying to be controlling of me i will break up with her and we will go our separate paths. You said u have in a abusive relationship. I'm sorry for that. It's normal for you to empathise more with her i know, u have been in her place, but try to empathise with the other partner too, Yes i had an abusive childhood, my mother was emotionally abusive my father was physically abusive, and sometimes i get those abusive tendencies aswell but i try my best to control them, this is what im trying to learn her also. To get to that point where she does not feel the need to control anymore. 

I don't believe that I am making a mistake and I certainly never said that all women are saints and all men are evil (in fact, I was sexually abused by both men and women and have seen plenty female abusers in my time, and I have worked with and relate to many males who were also abused as children).  What I am empathizing with is the young person who is being taken advantage of and abused by an adult who should just let them be and let them grow up without their adult drama and abusive nonsense, and I recognize that very clearly.  I do not have her side of the story, but I have yours, and that is alarming enough on its own.  What you said "in anger" is a lot of serious concerns.  You talk a lot about "control" and nothing of compromise or being an actual partner, which are the components of a real, healthy relationship.

It doesn't matter if an underage girl "likes" you.  If a 17-year-old boy were to tell me that he likes me (an adult), I would not sit there and go, "Huh. Maybe a potential relationship."  The difference in the brain of a teenager and a 25-year-old is significant (and I wish you'd stop throwing around sociopathy as a diagnosis for what is most likely just normal teenage behavior, immaturity, and being messed around with by someone who is old enough to know better; and unless you are licensed to make that diagnosis, just stop with the serious psychiatric labels).

"The age gap won't be a problem after she is 20+."  Maybe not, but that is not the reality of what you are doing and have been doing, because she is not even really close to 20 and has not been this whole time.

Nothing about any of this is healthy.  I'm sure you know that.  On some level, you must be enjoying or finding comfort in the drama, dysfunction and negative attention, and that's a pattern that you likely need to break for yourself.  You said that you are not a kind person and that is a serious problem.  I know a lot of people who have been through hell and are still some of the nicest people that you could meet.  A history of being abused is not an excuse to act poorly or say the things that you have.  You should really be working on yourself, not messing around with someone who is still trying to just grow up into adulthood.  Why damage another person?  A teenager does not need a partner who is not kind.  No one really does.

I hope that you do break your own patterns and overcome your own abuse.  The nicest thing that you could do is break up with this girl, let her date people her own age, and work on yourself.

[Timshel]

@TaserTag, energy/love is precious, spend it on worthy endeavors.

[AdamantyumKrystal]

7 hours ago, TaserTag said:

I don't believe that I am making a mistake and I certainly never said that all women are saints and all men are evil (in fact, I was sexually abused by both men and women and have seen plenty female abusers in my time, and I have worked with and relate to many males who were also abused as children).  What I am empathizing with is the young person who is being taken advantage of and abused by an adult who should just let them be and let them grow up without their adult drama and abusive nonsense, and I recognize that very clearly.  I do not have her side of the story, but I have yours, and that is alarming enough on its own.  What you said "in anger" is a lot of serious concerns.  You talk a lot about "control" and nothing of compromise or being an actual partner, which are the components of a real, healthy relationship.

It doesn't matter if an underage girl "likes" you.  If a 17-year-old boy were to tell me that he likes me (an adult), I would not sit there and go, "Huh. Maybe a potential relationship."  The difference in the brain of a teenager and a 25-year-old is significant (and I wish you'd stop throwing around sociopathy as a diagnosis for what is most likely just normal teenage behavior, immaturity, and being messed around with by someone who is old enough to know better; and unless you are licensed to make that diagnosis, just stop with the serious psychiatric labels).

"The age gap won't be a problem after she is 20+."  Maybe not, but that is not the reality of what you are doing and have been doing, because she is not even really close to 20 and has not been this whole time.

Nothing about any of this is healthy.  I'm sure you know that.  On some level, you must be enjoying or finding comfort in the drama, dysfunction and negative attention, and that's a pattern that you likely need to break for yourself.  You said that you are not a kind person and that is a serious problem.  I know a lot of people who have been through hell and are still some of the nicest people that you could meet.  A history of being abused is not an excuse to act poorly or say the things that you have.  You should really be working on yourself, not messing around with someone who is still trying to just grow up into adulthood.  Why damage another person?  A teenager does not need a partner who is not kind.  No one really does.

I hope that you do break your own patterns and overcome your own abuse.  The nicest thing that you could do is break up with this girl, let her date people her own age, and work on yourself.

So you're asking me to break her heart"hey babe let's break up coz this will never work and we should stop loving eachother coz an internet stranger told us so".

You know what? You're subjective. With this said. Thank you for your opinion but you don't know the full story.  

 

I have ptsd from my first/last relationship. My ex gf cheated on me with my bestfriend from childhood. My gf unknowingly acted like my ex gf by repeating some actions. I got angry and thought she will do the same. I dunno maybe its a women thing. Once i realised my mistake i apoligised and explained her the situation . 

My ex hurt me and changed me. People used me and mocked me and that made me very skeptical of ppl. 

My gf reminds me of myself. I was like her. Naive and kindhearted. This changed over time. Im aware of my current faults and im working on fixing them.  

 

There are truly evil men out there and they dont do anything about it. They keep hurting ppl and enjoy it. They dont control themselves.  Im evil too but im aware of it. But im not letting my darkside xontrol my life. It slips away sometime yeah but im slowly starting to get better at managing my emotions. 

 

I promised her i wont leave. I intend to keep my promise. We will marry and have a family and i will try my best to make her happy. 

If i fail she is free to leave. I always told her to demand respect of ppl. I try to learn her everything i know. She didn t have anyone to do it .her dad passed away when. She was 2.she was alone. Not anymore. What i said was selfish and stupid . i know. Im not gonna delete that comment as i must read it again and see what i must change. I told her she must break up with me if she sees i cross the line. 

 

She is free to leave. The only way im trying to "control" her is by trying to make her mature faster. Which is becoming more authoritary and independent. If i make too many mistakes .im out. She will leave. She wont let me disrespect her. She is starting to learn. Im proud of her.  If she leaves one day. Im ok with that. But i know ive did my best yo help her and she will be a mature woman ready for life and she wont do the mistakes i.did. im sure of it. She has potential. And she will become a strong woman. 

 

Did your ex abusive bf ever said these things? If u keep comparing me to. The trash u dated. That is ur problem not mine. Im not some lowlife f***er who abuses women or teens or s*** like that. Ive been single for 6 years and i had chance to relationships but i.declined. they were not for me. She seems the best choice so im not gonna lose her. If i lose her then its my fault and im gonna accept it. But stop comparing me to scum u dated coz u did not have the emotional maturity to choose better and u didnt. Had a real man by your side to show you what true love is. With these being said. Sayonara. 

[Acacia98]

20 minutes ago, AdamantyumKrystal said:

I promised her i wont leave. I intend to keep my promise. We will marry and have a family and i will try my best to make her happy. 

Sounds like a nice fairy tale ending. But I'm not sure it's wise for you to have that as your end goal for various reasons.

There are a few things that struck me about your relationship with her.

First is your age difference. It's not right. If she were 27 and you were 35, it would be different. Because then she'd have some grown-up experience under her belt. But right now, she's still a child who's gradually growing into an adult. By being in her life as a boyfriend (or whatever the label is) you are impacting her life trajectory and some of that impact is going to be negative.

Then there is the nature of your relationship/ how it started. When she was still in the relationship with the 19-yr-old, she was manipulating you similarly to the way in which he was manipulating her: I'm talking about refusing to allow the other person to set boundaries and distance themselves in order to remove themselves from an unhealthy situation. Her boyfriend refused to let her go and used emotional blackmail to achieve that. And this girl refused to let you go and used emotional blackmail to achieve that. The great irony is that you could see it was wrong when he was doing it to her, but you couldn't see it was wrong when she was doing it to you. And yet you are the older, more experienced guy. Ideally, you should be able to see further than she can and to recognize and avoid certain pitfalls.

You then went on to start dating her and to express surprise at her controlling and manipulative tendencies. But there was nothing to be surprised about. She had been controlling and manipulative before; and you chose not to see it. I'm not saying all this to make her look bad. I actually give her a pass on much of her behavior because she's a confused kid and a survivor of abuse trying to make sense of her life. I can't do the same for you because you're supposed to be the adult. A kid may have a crush on you, but it doesn't follow that you should entertain that crush and cultivate it until you're in a full-blown relationship. And you're not supposed to just passively go along with her unwise choices and let her carry the responsibility for them while you avoid taking responsibility because you "don't want to break her heart."

Let me illustrate to you another way in which you showed lack of wisdom: you got into a relationship with her immediately after she ended things with the 19-year old. Surely, someone of your age should know that it's problematic to jump directly from one relationship into another. If you really were her guardian angel, you would have encouraged her to be single for some time once she came out of that toxic relationship. She needed time to find herself, to understand why she had gotten into that situation in the first place, to engage in self-reflection, maybe even to get some counselling (if that were possible). You took that away from her.

[Acacia98]

1 hour ago, AdamantyumKrystal said:

So you're asking me to break her heart"hey babe let's break up coz this will never work and we should stop loving eachother coz an internet stranger told us so".

You know what? You're subjective. With this said. Thank you for your opinion but you don't know the full story.  

Another thing: you're the one who came here looking for advice from internet strangers. So you need to grow a thick skin and reflect on people's criticism of your actions. Don't be so quick to disagree with them or declare them judgmental.

Of course people have subjective opinions. But so do you. And you seem to be rather shortsighted about emotional stuff and relationships. There's still a lot that you don't know and understand, but you seem to assume you know enough. You don't know enough. You still have a lot to learn. We all do. The folks who fare well in this life are usually the ones who recognize this. 

Edited November 13, 2020 by Acacia98

[AdamantyumKrystal]

 "lack of wisdom: you got into a relationship with her immediately after she ended things with the 19-year old."

She jumped in a relationship with me, the day i ended talkin to her i told her that i let her evolve and mature in those months or years until we will talk again. She may be single then and with more life experience so we could reconnect. This is what i told to her. She Ended with him the next day and came to me. I didn't want to hurt hur and say to just stay friends so i accepted a relationship. What could go wrong? i Thought to myself then. Well now i see what was wrong, i should've waited a time but anyways that's my bad. 

 

"You then went on to start dating her and to express surprise at her controlling and manipulative tendencies." Ofc i was surprised. She showed me a "mask" . I had no idea what she was doing with him, she didn't admit of those controlling behaviours before being with me, I came to see the real her after we were togheder, when she was with that guy i thought he is the only one doing manipulations, seems i was wrong. lol She was also doing it but didnt show it or said anything about it.

 

ANother thing, U guys don't know the full story, u keep giving opinions on the things i wrote, mostly all of it it's here but not all, i skipped some details coz it's much to write and i did not have the time, maybe this is my bad, i will come back these days or next week with full story and complete details . 

U keep saying the age gap is too big and stuff like that. i call that utter bullshyt. I know a few couples in my town, the guys are like 30+ and the girls they are with are 20 or 24, they have the relationship going for a few years now. there is one girl who  was 18 when she got in the rship with a 32 year old guy , and they are still togheder, it's actually normal for girls to want older guys in relationship with. As i see them still being togheder i'm sure we will pull this through even if it will be hard. We are togheder in this.

Only coz i express myself in a more different/childish way doesn't mean im a immature man. I just like keeping it all funny  & chill and i wanna make ppl feel good, i like to crack jokes, too many. I enjoy living life with a positive and funny attitude. Most of the people call me immature coz of this reason, well, Fwck them ^_^ ! i don't need their approval.

As i said i will return with more details, and i will give detailed insight about what a mature relationship should be. U guys really think i've surfed for years these boards without learning anything right? LoL. pretty "shortsighted" psychoanalysis from your side. From your pov im immature,selfish,"bad man". The girl is not stupid, i repeat, she is not stupid,if i would be such a immature bad person why would she want to be with me? Only to suffer and continue the toxicity from last relationship? U guys are blinded by your own arguments ( too big of a age gap, ure too older, she is too young, bla bla bla) U know what? i actually thought the way you do before i got in this relationship, Im glad i was wrong, Im actually VERY GLAD i was wrong, i was shortsighted and judgemental. Yes sometimes i wished  i was younger and she to be older so we can look like a "normal couple" in this "modern" society. Weeeeeellllllllll???? Guess what? IDGAF about what society thinks anymore. We live in a depraved and hedonistic/society , Corrupted and rotten at it's core, Why the F would i even care about what cattle society thinks? Dah, i couldn't care less about what sheeple think of me and my relationships, as one of my fav bands (System of a down) says : f*** THE SYSTEM ! and f*** society. And no im not antisocial, im antistupid.  90% of Society is stupid. No more empathy for stupid wicked ppl. 

Have a nice day.

Edited November 13, 2020 by AdamantyumKrystal

[ExpatInItaly]

I think you need to step away from the internet for a little bit, OP. 

Your thoughts and agitation are getting you all worked up, and you're not making much sense. 

[AdamantyumKrystal]

2 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

I think you need to step away from the internet for a little bit, OP. 

Your thoughts and agitation are getting you all worked up, and you're not making much sense. 

story of my life :))

[mark clemson]

11 hours ago, AdamantyumKrystal said:

 Im not some lowlife f***er who abuses women or teens or s*** like that.

Buuuuuut you chat up 14 y.o.'s on the internet and are "pretty much" against "pedobears". So...

Hows about just keeping it over 20 y.o. so we can all stop judging you? It's getting quite tiring, for me at least.

This GF of your is a hot mess emotionally. That is quite clear. Walking away would be a GREAT opportunity to both get away from that nonsense AND turn over a new leaf. Don't worry about breaking her poor widdle heart, she'll heal. Young people are resilient. AND her emotional issues would become someone else's problem. For real, it's a win-win.

[AdamantyumKrystal]

On 11/13/2020 at 10:09 AM, AdamantyumKrystal said:

 "lack of wisdom: you got into a relationship with her immediately after she ended things with the 19-year old."

She jumped in a relationship with me, the day i ended talkin to her i told her that i let her evolve and mature in those months or years until we will talk again. She may be single then and with more life experience so we could reconnect. This is what i told to her. She Ended with him the next day and came to me. I didn't want to hurt hur and say to just stay friends so i accepted a relationship. What could go wrong? i Thought to myself then. Well now i see what was wrong, i should've waited a time but anyways that's my bad. 

 

"You then went on to start dating her and to express surprise at her controlling and manipulative tendencies." Ofc i was surprised. She showed me a "mask" . I had no idea what she was doing with him, she didn't admit of those controlling behaviours before being with me, I came to see the real her after we were togheder, when she was with that guy i thought he is the only one doing manipulations, seems i was wrong. lol She was also doing it but didnt show it or said anything about it.

 

ANother thing, U guys don't know the full story, u keep giving opinions on the things i wrote, mostly all of it it's here but not all, i skipped some details coz it's much to write and i did not have the time, maybe this is my bad, i will come back these days or next week with full story and complete details . 

U keep saying the age gap is too big and stuff like that. i call that utter bullshyt. I know a few couples in my town, the guys are like 30+ and the girls they are with are 20 or 24, they have the relationship going for a few years now. there is one girl who  was 18 when she got in the rship with a 32 year old guy , and they are still togheder, it's actually normal for girls to want older guys in relationship with. As i see them still being togheder i'm sure we will pull this through even if it will be hard. We are togheder in this.

Only coz i express myself in a more different/childish way doesn't mean im a immature man. I just like keeping it all funny  & chill and i wanna make ppl feel good, i like to crack jokes, too many. I enjoy living life with a positive and funny attitude. Most of the people call me immature coz of this reason, well, Fwck them ^_^ ! i don't need their approval.

As i said i will return with more details, and i will give detailed insight about what a mature relationship should be. U guys really think i've surfed for years these boards without learning anything right? LoL. pretty "shortsighted" psychoanalysis from your side. From your pov im immature,selfish,"bad man". The girl is not stupid, i repeat, she is not stupid,if i would be such a immature bad person why would she want to be with me? Only to suffer and continue the toxicity from last relationship? U guys are blinded by your own arguments ( too big of a age gap, ure too older, she is too young, bla bla bla) U know what? i actually thought the way you do before i got in this relationship, Im glad i was wrong, Im actually VERY GLAD i was wrong, i was shortsighted and judgemental. Yes sometimes i wished  i was younger and she to be older so we can look like a "normal couple" in this "modern" society. Weeeeeellllllllll???? Guess what? IDGAF about what society thinks anymore. We live in a depraved and hedonistic/society , Corrupted and rotten at it's core, Why the F would i even care about what cattle society thinks? Dah, i couldn't care less about what sheeple think of me and my relationships, as one of my fav bands (System of a down) says : f*** THE SYSTEM ! and f*** society. And no im not antisocial, im antistupid.  90% of Society is stupid. No more empathy for stupid wicked ppl. 

Have a nice day.

What a load of horsesh*t. I dunno what was going on in my head at the time but man i was dumn.. Sry to all the people ive talked in an offensive way in this threat.. Most of u were right. I shouldve never get in a relationship with her. Its been 1.8 years since we broke up/she left me and nope.. She was not i thought she was... And now that i think of it i was also not who i thought to be. I was a terrible garbage human. I deserve all the pain for what i did. I see that now.