How do I deal with an ex who potentially has mental health issues?

[lee179108]

So long story short, I've posted on here before of how a relationship i had with my ex came to an end last week...  weve been together 2 years, shes 27 and lives with her parents, im 29 and live on my own 50 minutes away. I will try break this down as simple as I can:

 

So she works as a teacher at a special needs school, she loves her job and loves keeping busy and doing things. This exact same time last year we broke up because of similar reasons, she felt like she didnt miss me, she wasnt herself, spark had gone... September came round and she started her job, 2 months went by and we kinda texted in that time but not much... but after the 2 months she missed me and we got together. I spent Xmas with her and things were amazing until these past 3 weeks. She again said she felt bad as she didnt miss me, im sometimes needy (bearing in mind we have been on lockdown) and that she doesnt feel the same so wanted space to think. I then gave her space and went quiet, she then became more needy, missed me, said she was so stupid to be like this and that she loved me and was afraid of losing me to another girl. The next day in the morning she was fine, but then said she has anxiety so I asked what for in a raised tone of voice and she just flipped and said this is why she thinks she should be on her own as i dont understand. I apologised, explained that i didnt mean it through that tone and said that i do understand and il always support her, i was then going to go and see her and she said she was excited.  30 min later she called me and She then broke up with me as she said she loves me as a person, didnt feel the same and needed a clean break without talking so she can sort herself out. Later that night, she messaged me to say she had spoken with her mom and self referred to a doctor and councillor for panic attacks and depression.  She said I need to be patient with her, it may take months but she wants to get through this alone as selfish as that sounds and then she will see where im at in life and if i will understand and support her and we can see how things go or we go our separate ways. She then said she will contact me when shes ready. 

 

I explained to her that i will understand and support her all the way through in any way i can and will be there for her. A few days went by with no contact and she sent me a message at night saying that she has a doctors appointment this past Monday and a councelling session on the 1st of September so putting things in motion and she starts back in work on the 2nd. She said she will be better once shes back in work and thought she would update me but will speak more after her doctors appointment. Well this past Monday she told me happy birthday and sent a card and that was it, she didnt update me on the appointment so im guessing she doesnt want to talk about it.  Her mom even sent me a card and put a note in there on how she is in a fragile state of mind right now with panic attacks and depression being off work as she needs structure in her life. This isnt the first occurrence but she will get through it but not sure what the future holds. Her mom wrote that as I had messaged her mom informing her how id provide support and understand but she didnt tell my ex that due to her state of mind.  Luckily I wrote everything in a long message to my ex on how id be there for her. 

The next day she would small talk me with a couple texts on what shes preparing for work and going out for a meal with her friends, i replied short and its been 3 days now where I havent heard from her. I guess I just dont get why she felt the need to update me on the appointments but then not tell me what went on? she aint been to the councelling one yet but i dont know if shel say anything on that either....   i also dont understand why she small talked me. I dont want to go total no contact because i dont want her to feel like I abandoned her at her worst. So how do I handle all of this? do i just respond short if she ever does reach out?  its her birthday on the 14th of September so I was thinking of sending her a card to let her know im thinking of her. But the random popping up with a text does confuse me as it makes me thing she does have something there for me but wants to sort her issues out first and get into the swing of work again. Yes I love her and will go to the end of the earth to understand mental health and build on us... but i guess ive got to leave her to it and just see what the future holds.. as much as it pains me every single day.  Does depression and anxiety make you think one thing and then go to another???? 

[d0nnivain]

You don't need to be patient & you don't need to deal with her.  She broke up with you.  She is your EX. When you broke up last time & then got back together this was your 2nd chance.  She's gone & done the same crap again.  Don't go back for a 3rd helping. 

NC & heal.  Then move on to somebody mentally healthy & emotionally invested.  

[basil67]

Sorry to be harsh, but if she wanted your care and support, she wouldn't have broken up with you.   Walk away.

 

Edited August 21, 2020 by basil67

[Wiseman2]

If you stay, it will be a very rough ride.

[lee179108]

Well yeah she broke up before but it make sense if she has a mental problem, you can all say otherwise but for me I want to stay and see what happens and learn from the experience....  I just dont get why she felt the need to update me and small talk me... but she hasnt reached out in 3 days now. 

[basil67]

Lee, I'm worried you're being a doormat here.  If you see this through, how many more times will you allow her to dump you?  When is enough enough?

 

[lee179108]

2 minutes ago, basil67 said:

Lee, I'm worried you're being a doormat here.  If you see this through, how many more times will you allow her to dump you?  When is enough enough?

 

Thats why I need an open, honest talk with her about my boundaries etc and discussion about what she got told in her appointments. She said last week when this started after she gets through it she will talk to me about it all so i have to trust that... she said last Saturday she would speak more after her doctors appointment. She hasnt about that but its only been 1 virtual appointment with the doctor so far, no councelling until the 1st.  

[basil67]

But even if you do have the talk, what's to stop her doing another U turn when she changes her mind next?    To quote Dr Phil, the best indicator of future behaviour is past behaviour.   

[lee179108]

1 hour ago, basil67 said:

But even if you do have the talk, what's to stop her doing another U turn when she changes her mind next?    To quote Dr Phil, the best indicator of future behaviour is past behaviour.   

I dont think anyone will know if she will do that or not...  all I keep thinking is when she told me last week that i need to be patient, let her get through it and she will contact me when shes ready to see where im at in life and if im willing to support and understand if she gets like this again. Said she will talk to me about everything in her appointments etc.... its been 3 days no contact and for me its difficult. Like I said she thinks she will get better once she gets back into the swing of work in September, i guess all i can do is wait and see what happens.. weather she will contact me again im not sure. 

[Beachead]

@lee179108

It doesn't seem you're listening to anyone on your threads Lee.  The minute, someone tells you what you don't want to hear, you chalk it up to them not knowing what they're talking about, but continue to look for responses that, that will agree with whatever you want to hear.  You have convinced yourself for the time-being that her leaving you, was out of depression, rather than her losing interest in the relationship.  Sure, you may be right, but at the end of the day, she isn't your girlfriend anymore.  If she wanted to involve you in the issues she's dealing with, she would have done so.  Instead, she is choosing to confide in her family.  She has made the choices that are best for her.  You are not respecting her decision by taking those choices she made, seriously.   

She's throwing you updates about her life because she's not sure what to do with your love right now. As she told you, she is a mess and she needs months of time to be selfish, in order to sort herself out.  That means treating you like a doormat with no guarantee that she will get back together with you.   

Understand this...you will not be able to love her if you don't love yourself..which is what you are currently trying to do..and as you are probably already aware of, its eroding your mental-state day by day.   Where your mood is right now, is not where you want to be as it will continue to go downhill and adversely affect your life and your interactions with her.  Without being in a good state of mind where you are self-sufficient, self--fulfilled and content, you won't be at any emotional capacity to give to her, what she needs right now, which is SPACE.  You will begin to resent her for her treatment of you, become depressed and will burn out..and if she ever did come back to you, THAT will be where you will approaching her from and it will cost you your relationship (Should it ever happen).  I already know she's all you're thinking about without even having to ask.  You're probably losing sleep over it.  You probably feel tired.  Unfocused.  If you feel think you feel bad right now, keep this up and watch what happens.

I've been there, down that sh*t road, trying to love my exes, at the expense of myself.  It never worked.  Learn to take care of you first so that you will be an emotional/resourceful capacity to take care of others.  You can't be there for others, if they destroy you. 

 Give her the space she requested of you and focus your energy onto the things you can control, which are the matters in your own life.  Focus on you.  This is the best thing you can do for you relationship with her, in the long run.

Quote

I dont want to go total no contact because i dont want her to feel like I abandoned her at her worst. 

Then keep some lines of communication open, and go limited contact, and respond only when she contacts you.  

- Beach

 

Edited August 22, 2020 by Beachead

[lee179108]

1 hour ago, Beachead said:

@lee179108

It doesn't seem you're listening to anyone on your threads Lee.  The minute, someone tells you what you don't want to hear, you chalk it up to them not knowing what they're talking about, but continue to look for responses that, that will agree with whatever you want to hear.  You have convinced yourself for the time-being that her leaving you, was out of depression, rather than her losing interest in the relationship.  Sure, you may be right, but at the end of the day, she isn't your girlfriend anymore.  If she wanted to involve you in the issues she's dealing with, she would have done so.  Instead, she is choosing to confide in her family.  She has made the choices that are best for her.  You are not respecting her decision by taking those choices she made, seriously.   

She's throwing you updates about her life because she's not sure what to do with your love right now. As she told you, she is a mess and she needs months of time to be selfish, in order to sort herself out.  That means treating you like a doormat with no guarantee that she will get back together with you.   

Understand this...you will not be able to love her if you don't love yourself..which is what you are currently trying to do..and as you are probably already aware of, its eroding your mental-state day by day.   Where your mood is right now, is not where you want to be as it will continue to go downhill and adversely affect your life and your interactions with her.  Without being in a good state of mind where you are self-sufficient, self--fulfilled and content, you won't be at any emotional capacity to give to her, what she needs right now, which is SPACE.  You will begin to resent her for her treatment of you, become depressed and will burn out..and if she ever did come back to you, THAT will be where you will approaching her from and it will cost you your relationship (Should it ever happen).  I already know she's all you're thinking about without even having to ask.  You're probably losing sleep over it.  You probably feel tired.  Unfocused.  If you feel think you feel bad right now, keep this up and watch what happens.

I've been there, down that sh*t road, trying to love my exes, at the expense of myself.  It never worked.  Learn to take care of you first so that you will be an emotional/resourceful capacity to take care of others.  You can't be there for others, if they destroy you. 

 Give her the space she requested of you and focus your energy onto the things you can control, which are the matters in your own life.  Focus on you.  This is the best thing you can do for you relationship with her, in the long run.

Then keep some lines of communication open, and go limited contact, and respond only when she contacts you.  

- Beach

 

Thank you Beach, I dont sleep well, im not eating well, shes all i think about all day every day...  i try to keep busy by going to the gym, circuit training and travelling down to my parents to see some friends if theyre free but i still think of her...  Im losing my mind now because its been 4 days no contact, last time she contacted it was just small talk about what shes bought for when she goes back to work...  I also find it difficult how this time last week she told me she would update me and speak more after her doctors appointment which was last Monday but she didnt...  then i also think if her first councelling session is on the 1st of September will she update me on that?  will she get better like she says she will when she starts back in work on the 2nd...  its all a nightmare to be honest.  She also said last Saturday that she missed me.

Edited August 22, 2020 by lee179108
edit

[Wiseman2]

6 minutes ago, lee179108 said:

 I dont sleep well, im not eating well, shes all i think about all day every day...

You need to work on yourself and leave her alone. Get to a doctor for an evaluation and therapy. You are pointing fingers at her when in fact you are using her "mental illness" as a distraction from addressing your own issues. People who want to fix people are often more unwell than the people they want to fix.

[lee179108]

Just now, Wiseman2 said:

You need to work on yourself and leave her alone. Get to a doctor for an evaluation and therapy. You are pointing fingers at her when in fact you are using her "mental illness" as a distraction from addressing your own issues. People who want to fix people are often more unwell than the people they want to fix.

I dont think im at the point where I need to see someone... not yet anyway....  all they'll tell me anyway is to move on and do things...   its only been 4 days no contact, and 2 weeks since this whole thing happened..

[elaine567]

On 8/21/2020 at 12:34 AM, lee179108 said:

She then broke up with me as she said she loves me as a person, didnt feel the same and needed a clean break without talking so she can sort herself out.

And that is exactly what she is doing. 
Leave her alone and stop expecting her to call/text you.
She doesn't need or want your support or understanding.
It is OVER.
Grieve heal and move on.

[Beachead]

@lee179108

Something that's relevant to this forum to your situation is the difference between feelings/attachment and love.

Feelings/attachment/infatuation is self-centered and short-sighted and it takes.  It expects.  When people give to others from this angle, they are only giving, to get something back in return...and they will get hurt or angry when their expectations are not met.  Most people in relationships, get caught in this part, and end up destroying a relationship.

Love on the other hand, isn't any of those things.  It is giving; the giving of forgiveness, patience, compassion, understanding.  It is sees clearly, into the longterm.  It is far-sighted, big pictured.  It does not take.   It is the highest form of care, someone can ever receive and or give.  And it's love that inspires loyalty, trust and respect in one another, which ultimately strengthens and grows a relationship.  I've found through my own life practices, that the more you nurture and invest in your mental-health by becoming aware of yourself (Your wants, your needs, your boundaries, your limits, your weaknesses etc.) so that you can make the right choices for you to build a life that's right for you (Loving yourself)..the far more effectively you will pass that love onto someone else.  The reason being because you are coming from place of self-fulfillment abundance.  You just won't need as much from another a person, as you are fulfilling those needs on your own.  As a result, you give without expectation, because you don't need much in return.   When you don't have that, you seek from others what you lack, within yourself.  You come from a place of deficit...so you take.  You begin to use relationships as an escape and as a means for external validation.   

So with that, I address this:

2 hours ago, lee179108 said:

Im losing my mind now because its been 4 days no contact, last time she contacted it was just small talk about what shes bought for when she goes back to work...  I also find it difficult how this time last week she told me she would update me and speak more after her doctors appointment which was last Monday but she didnt...  then i also think if her first councelling session is on the 1st of September will she update me on that?  will she get better like she says she will when she starts back in work on the 2nd...  its all a nightmare to be honest. 

That's what being put in limbo feels like and that's how it starts.  The anxiety.  The wondering why she didn't do what she told you she would do.  Wondering what she's up to or if she will contact you again.  Little by little you slip into an abyss.   Right now, you're using her depression as a means to stay connected to her because it's the only connection you have with her right now.   You're not staying for her..you're staying for you.   Because letting go and embracing the reality ofthe end and possibly never reconciling with her again and having to go on by yourself..scares you, and you don't want to even think about it.  You don't believe you can handle it.  So you operate out of fear/insecurity.   As I described up..this isn't love.  This is coming from feelings/attachment.  Love from you to her, would be respecting her decision to end it, and to allow her to focus on herself, by loving yourself. (Distancing and taking care of yourself now, for you)..such that should a day ever arise, where she might come to a place where she would like to give it another try..you two will be in a much better place emotionally/spiritually and in life.

The reality is if you stay, and wait, how you feel right now will get worse, and as much as she wants to keep you around and use your presence in whatever way she requires, it's just not reasonable or fair to you.  Her feeling abandoned should you put some distance for you are her, is something she's just going to have to deal with, because she cannot have it both ways.  Her current actions are stemming from the same source as yours..feelings/attachment.  It's not stemming from love.  Love from her, if she was actually showing love, would be letting you go,  knowing its whats best for you, given what she has to do for herself.  Neither of you as a result, would be separating from eachother, out of malice, but out of love for eachother.  

- Beach

 

Edited August 22, 2020 by Beachead

[lee179108]

22 hours ago, Beachead said:

@lee179108

Something that's relevant to this forum to your situation is the difference between feelings/attachment and love.

Feelings/attachment/infatuation is self-centered and short-sighted and it takes.  It expects.  When people give to others from this angle, they are only giving, to get something back in return...and they will get hurt or angry when their expectations are not met.  Most people in relationships, get caught in this part, and end up destroying a relationship.

Love on the other hand, isn't any of those things.  It is giving; the giving of forgiveness, patience, compassion, understanding.  It is sees clearly, into the longterm.  It is far-sighted, big pictured.  It does not take.   It is the highest form of care, someone can ever receive and or give.  And it's love that inspires loyalty, trust and respect in one another, which ultimately strengthens and grows a relationship.  I've found through my own life practices, that the more you nurture and invest in your mental-health by becoming aware of yourself (Your wants, your needs, your boundaries, your limits, your weaknesses etc.) so that you can make the right choices for you to build a life that's right for you (Loving yourself)..the far more effectively you will pass that love onto someone else.  The reason being because you are coming from place of self-fulfillment abundance.  You just won't need as much from another a person, as you are fulfilling those needs on your own.  As a result, you give without expectation, because you don't need much in return.   When you don't have that, you seek from others what you lack, within yourself.  You come from a place of deficit...so you take.  You begin to use relationships as an escape and as a means for external validation.   

So with that, I address this:

That's what being put in limbo feels like and that's how it starts.  The anxiety.  The wondering why she didn't do what she told you she would do.  Wondering what she's up to or if she will contact you again.  Little by little you slip into an abyss.   Right now, you're using her depression as a means to stay connected to her because it's the only connection you have with her right now.   You're not staying for her..you're staying for you.   Because letting go and embracing the reality ofthe end and possibly never reconciling with her again and having to go on by yourself..scares you, and you don't want to even think about it.  You don't believe you can handle it.  So you operate out of fear/insecurity.   As I described up..this isn't love.  This is coming from feelings/attachment.  Love from you to her, would be respecting her decision to end it, and to allow her to focus on herself, by loving yourself. (Distancing and taking care of yourself now, for you)..such that should a day ever arise, where she might come to a place where she would like to give it another try..you two will be in a much better place emotionally/spiritually and in life.

The reality is if you stay, and wait, how you feel right now will get worse, and as much as she wants to keep you around and use your presence in whatever way she requires, it's just not reasonable or fair to you.  Her feeling abandoned should you put some distance for you are her, is something she's just going to have to deal with, because she cannot have it both ways.  Her current actions are stemming from the same source as yours..feelings/attachment.  It's not stemming from love.  Love from her, if she was actually showing love, would be letting you go,  knowing its whats best for you, given what she has to do for herself.  Neither of you as a result, would be separating from eachother, out of malice, but out of love for eachother.  

- Beach

 

Well the doctor gave her anti depressants but she spoke with family members who have used them and she's not taking them because of the side effects, she's only going to take them as a last resort kinda thing. Said shes keeping busy, trying to be out of the house as much as possible as staying in gets her down, said she spoken to her friend who does the same job and she feels the same way... she needs that structure in her life and keeping busy... said the councelling is on the 1st of September and yeah just seeing how it goes but thinks she will be better once back to normal. Said she knows she's not mentally ready to get her own place yet but that will come in time... whereas months ago she wanted to get one to gain her own independence. So yeah now im in no contact, best support I can give right now is by leaving her alone to figure it all out, yes she knows im here if she wants to talk to me but if i pressure her or message her it will make things worse. I know you all say for me to move on and all that, well yes im going to try focus on myself right now.. i just hope that she does miss me in time... she knows that I want a clear answer on everything and the future... she knows im expecting her to talk to me at some point about everything and see what happens. So yeah, I guess I will see how the next few weeks go. Hopefully time will heal and things may not be as bad as they seem. But yeah im trying to get through it all day by day. 

[Wiseman2]

It runs in her family?

[lee179108]

No idea.. thats just what she said...   and I get that you all tell me to stay clear of her, leave her alone, move on etc.. but listen im doing this for myself and learning from all of this. Im trying to focus on me, i felt a bit better today, listened to music, went to the gym...   who knows what the future holds though. 

[Beachead]

@lee179108

4 hours ago, lee179108 said:

Well the doctor gave her anti depressants but she spoke with family members who have used them and she's not taking them because of the side effects, she's only going to take them as a last resort kinda thing. Said shes keeping busy, trying to be out of the house as much as possible as staying in gets her down, said she spoken to her friend who does the same job and she feels the same way... she needs that structure in her life and keeping busy... said the councelling is on the 1st of September and yeah just seeing how it goes but thinks she will be better once back to normal. Said she knows she's not mentally ready to get her own place yet but that will come in time... whereas months ago she wanted to get one to gain her own independence. So yeah now im in no contact, best support I can give right now is by leaving her alone to figure it all out, yes she knows im here if she wants to talk to me but if i pressure her or message her it will make things worse. I know you all say for me to move on and all that, well yes im going to try focus on myself right now.. i just hope that she does miss me in time... she knows that I want a clear answer on everything and the future... she knows im expecting her to talk to me at some point about everything and see what happens. So yeah, I guess I will see how the next few weeks go. Hopefully time will heal and things may not be as bad as they seem. But yeah im trying to get through it all day by day. 

That's good.  She's got a plan and is working on it.  Good for her.   

For the time being, day by day is all you can do.  You are choosing to stick it out, and that's fine...but just understand that so long as you believe there is hope for you two, you won't think about end of your relationship, which means you won't experience the feelings/thoughts that come from embracing that conclusion and that means you won't process and work through it.   So long as your mind is on the hope, that's how it'll be.  There's no being able to hope and move on at the same time.  It's not possible.  So forget trying to move on.  Just move forward and use the time that you are in this limbo, to cope and reduce the wear on your mind, through self-development, as you wait.

As time goes on, either you two may get back together or you may come to realize, you just can't wait anymore. 

- Beach

Edited August 23, 2020 by Beachead

[lee179108]

3 hours ago, Beachead said:

@lee179108

That's good.  She's got a plan and is working on it.  Good for her.   

For the time being, day by day is all you can do.  You are choosing to stick it out, and that's fine...but just understand that so long as you believe there is hope for you two, you won't think about end of your relationship, which means you won't experience the feelings/thoughts that come from embracing that conclusion and that means you won't process and work through it.   So long as your mind is on the hope, that's how it'll be.  There's no being able to hope and move on at the same time.  It's not possible.  So forget trying to move on.  Just move forward and use the time that you are in this limbo, to cope and reduce the wear on your mind, through self-development, as you wait.

As time goes on, either you two may get back together or you may come to realize, you just can't wait anymore. 

- Beach

Yeah, I hope she reaches out sometime.. I'd like to think she does after all weve been through, ive treated her great and we've both been so happy together and had amazing times and experienced a lot together. Ive learnt a lot and spoke to a few people about mental health recently, lockdown hasnt helped either...  only she knows what she will do.. i just want her to reach out sometime to say either yes we can talk about it all and see where we go next or no we dont talk...  she knows im waiting for one of those outcomes. Im just leaving her be now..   i was thinking of messaging her on the 1st to say all the best with the councelling session.. not sure if I should yet, but I want her to know im thinking of her. I know as well the way she has been in the past with me that she loved me, missed me etc... hopefully she will reflect on us and i hope after councelling and work she will get back to herself. But I will see how it goes in the next few weeks. 

[salparadise]

9 hours ago, lee179108 said:

 i was thinking of messaging her on the 1st to say all the best with the councelling session.. not sure if I should yet, but I want her to know im thinking of her.

You don't need to message her to let he know you're thinking of her. She takes that for granted, as she does you. She knows that you're turned inside out over this and hanging on her every word. You think messaging to say, "all the best with the counseling session" would have some meaning, but it doesn't. It's just confirmation that you're still dangling on the end of her string which seems downright pathetic after the way she has treated you... and pathetic is not attractive. The only way you'll get any respect is to NOT contact her, and if she ever contacts you to see if you're still pining over her tell her you're done and she needs to find someone with less self-respect than you to treat like a doormat... expecting them to wait until the counseling sessions kick in and cure her of her self-centeredness.

Lee, that is not going to happen. This is who she is, this is how you can expect to be treated. When a woman makes you miserable and disrespects you, you have to pick your ass up and not act like an amoeba. I know you're hurting and wish you could get what you want, but this relationships is no longer a relationship. Rejection is bad enough once, but what you're doing is volunteering for it repeatedly. You need to gather yourself up and move on. 

[elaine567]

Mentally ill people tend to be highly self absorbed, it is all about them. 
Which is hardly surprising as something has gone really bad in their life and they don't know how to handle it.
Mental health is something taken for granted. When a person cannot rely on their own mind, it is shocking and upsetting.
They want it fixed, they often choose an inner circle to help or shun everyone. 
They have no time for any one else.
The OP is not in that inner circle, she has told him that, and is now ignoring him.
He needs to listen to her  and take the hint for his own sanity.
He cannot help her.

[Wiseman2]

Unfortunately it seems like you are doing this for you, hoping if they just fix her, you'll have your relationship back.

However this isn't like bringing your car to the shop and calling to see what the status is.

She knows your contact info. Why not let her reach out if/ when she wants to?

In the meantime, get some help yourself to examine your motives and need to smother and hover.

[lee179108]

I get why you all say not to contact her next Monday and wish her all the best for her councelling appointment... im still not sure what to do... i thought that despite everything it would show that I still care about her.. that could in time make her reflect..  after that I would leave her alone again until she contacts me  (this is what im doing now).  But on the other hand if i say nothing it could make her then reflect more and think of me or miss me...  i just dont know..  Shes not totally ignoring me as she does reply when we do talk.. 

My heads messed up thinking a million things.. if she has a mental illness then i dont want to abandon her, i want to support and understand so i keep thinking to when she said once she feels better and back into work routine that shel talk to me about it all and see where we are both at. Weather i have faith in her to do that i dont know.... as i overthink that shel just forget about me and not talk ever again. She still has photos of us together on her instagram... i dont have her on that but my friend does...  as i removed her for obvious reasons and explained to her why..

Edited August 24, 2020 by lee179108
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[Wiseman2]

On 8/23/2020 at 11:37 AM, lee179108 said:

Well the doctor gave her anti depressants but she spoke with family members who have used them and she's not taking them because of the side effects, she's only going to take them as a last resort kinda thing.

Sad that she is refusing treatment. That may be why she's getting worse and worse.  She won't even try them.  If she won't help herself with her well documented mental illness, how are you going to help her?

Edited August 24, 2020 by Wiseman2