ex girlfriend has sent me texts I can´t answer!

[cherot]

My ex gf broke up with me three months ago..our relationship only lasted 2 months!  She told me to leave it as friends and for a week I started sending her text messages everyday to the point that she blocked my phone and sent me a text saying that she wishes me luck.  I was feeling down when that happened , so I contacted a mutual friend and told her that I lost my friendship with her and that I couldn´t comunicate with her anymore because she got my number blocked.  

About two weeks ago I asked this mutual friend how she was doing her how and told me that she hasn´t communicated with her for a month.  I still had some hopes of becoming friends again and then all of a sudden I got a last message from her two days ago, asking me why I´m telling her personal stuff to our mutual friend? that it´s never good to trust people like me, that I should keep my mouth shut, asking me as a favor not to  post anything about her on Instagram or Facebook(which is something I will never do, because I have never and will never post my personal problems on social media) and thanked me for opening my mouth and telling another mutual friend about her(which is totally false because I don´t even have or want contact with that other toxic person).  She doesn´t like people to find out about her personal life, but she likes to gossip and find out about other people´s personal life.  She sent me that message with my number still blocked so I can´t even reply, so in a way she just sent me that text almost to insult me and think of me as the lowest!  

We were coworkers and good friends for 5 years and although I knew she was a problematic person for some people, I always liked her and never thought that I will have problems with her.  I had a wonderful relationship with her and never thought it could end with all this negativity!  

[Wiseman2]

1 minute ago, cherot said:

all of a sudden I got a last message from her two days ago, asking me why I´m telling her personal stuff to our mutual friend? that it´s never good to trust people like me, that I should keep my mouth shut, asking me as a favor not to  post anything about her on Instagram or Facebook

It would be best to leave her and her friends alone. You dated 8 weeks and need to make your own friends and find other girls to date. Don't stalk anyone directly or indirectly. What you are doing is bordering on abusive. 

[TeddyBundy1993]

In other words she lost respect for you. You shouldn't have clinged and blown her inbox. Friends with ex is really difficult and most people are not emotionally mature to deal with that.  But yet we all decide to get involve in this mess. 

Anyhow she has made it clear she doesnt wants to hear from you. And somehow you have made mistakes too. You shouldn't disrespect yourself anymore by trying communicate to her anymore. Behave as if shes dead from now. Move on with life, she wont give you anything valuable not even valuable friendship. So it's futile to waste any energy on this girl. Also please learn from here how you should not contact anyone without their wish, if you do that they behave exactly how she did. Behaving as if shes any God or some celebrity. 

[cherot]

11 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

It would be best to leave her and her friends alone. You dated 8 weeks and need to make your own friends and find other girls to date. Don't stalk anyone directly or indirectly. What you are doing is bordering on abusive. 

That´s what I´m going to do from now on!  Thank you for your advices, Wiseman2!

11 hours ago, TeddyBundy1993 said:

Move on with life, she wont give you anything valuable not even valuable friendship. So it's futile to waste any energy on this girl. Also please learn from here how you should not contact anyone without their wish, if you do that they behave exactly how she did. Behaving as if shes any God or some celebrity. 

Wise advices you have given me, TeddyBundy1993!  Thank you so much!  I have made so many mistakes on this relationship, I wish I could have had more relationship experience and used more common sense but I didn´t.   The moment I lost her friendship is the moment she broke up with me and showed me how little she cared about me and my feelings,..that same moment I should have given the space that she wanted it and moved on.  

[Fox Sake]

Let’s be frank. The only reason you told the mutual friend was cos you knew it was going to get back to her. friends talk. I’m sure you had hoped that the ex might have come around after hearing about you but it backfired on you. 
 

I hope you learn some lessons from all this.  
-When a girl asks for space or breaks up with you , you have to vanish. You don’t beg or plead or try and change their mind, you don’t reach out to them and you most certainly DO NOT talk to their mutual friends about them. 
 

Armed now with your new life lessons and knowledge- on you go to bigger and better things  the next relationship is always better than the last one, if you’re open to learning from your own mistakes and experiences for a better self future 
 

Edit - might I also add that you don’t want to reply to her message either. So count yourself lucky you can’t. It would only make you look stupid as you try and justify what you did,  or try to apologise. It’s a blessing in disguise for you 

Edited August 22, 2020 by Fox Sake

[Emilie Jolie]

18 hours ago, cherot said:

  I had a wonderful relationship with her and never thought it could end with all this negativity!  

You had a 2 month fling with a coworker: that would be a more appropriate way of looking at it.

Instead of painting her as this dysfunctional person, you need to focus on your own behaviour. It ended that way because, by your own admission, you bombarded her phone with daily texts for a week post breakup. I actually think she handled that situation with a lot of restraint.

She broke silence not because she is cruel, but because she wanted to send you a clear message. She doesn't want you to contact her, so don't contact her, through texts, mutual friends or otherwise. 

All you can do at this point is move on - onward and upward!

 

Edited August 22, 2020 by Emilie Jolie

[cherot]

Thank you, Fox Sake and Emily Jolie for your wise advices and observations!  So many lessons for me to learn here..I guess I wasn´t ready for this to end so soon and didn´t handle it maturely.  I have done enough bothering her and won´t ever do it anymore.  I should work on myself and my self esteem, be a better more matured version of myself and move forward!

[Cheaterinchiefv10]

I'm sorry man that sound rough! Getting blocked is the worst. Some women are capeable of a softer break up approach but she doesn't seem to fall into that catagory. When I go thru what you are going thru I want to stay friends And suffer but from an outside perspective the more time away from talking to her the better it seems. Unless you like pain which I have an addiction to but I would never recommend that to someone else especially if the girl is the mean break up type. I have an ex that still wants to say I love you and all that and i know it isn't good for me to engage but being single sometimes I do things because I'm lonely even though it's bad for me. Your girl is more like my ex before her and won't do anything but be mean to you. I'm sorry!!

[FudgeSwirl]

I'm really sorry about your break-up.  Dating for two months isn't that long but it doesn't mean when it is over that it doesn't hurt.

Everybody who responded left sound advice and made great observations.  I would just add that during a break-up when someone says to just be friends, always take it with a grain of salt even if you really liked or even loved that person.  If this were to happen again with any girl you date, don't reach out to her.  Even if there was the possibility of being friends with an ex, there is a lot to process after a break-up and more often than not both parties are content with just moving on without any direct contact besides the occasional social media "like."

[cherot]

11 hours ago, Cheaterinchiefv10 said:

I'm sorry man that sound rough! Getting blocked is the worst. Some women are capeable of a softer break up approach but she doesn't seem to fall into that catagory. When I go thru what you are going thru I want to stay friends And suffer but from an outside perspective the more time away from talking to her the better it seems. Unless you like pain which I have an addiction to but I would never recommend that to someone else especially if the girl is the mean break up type. I have an ex that still wants to say I love you and all that and i know it isn't good for me to engage but being single sometimes I do things because I'm lonely even though it's bad for me. Your girl is more like my ex before her and won't do anything but be mean to you. I'm sorry!!

Thank you, Cheaterinchiefv10!  It´s reconforting for me to know that I haven´t been the only one that have gone through this experience.  When she decided to stay friends with me, it was a day after my birthday..she was never direct with me and tell me if anything was bothering her, we never had any type of arguments, fights, insults, or anything like it.  When I was texting her everyday, she was always answering my texts and it didn´t seem that anything was bothering her until she sent me a text wishing me a happy weekend when it was barely a tuesday..after receiving and anwering that text she blocked my number, she sent me another text on a sunday wishing me that I have had a great weekend, and waited two more days to text me that she hopes it doesn´t bother me but wishes me good luck and sends me some information on some job opportunity.  I felt like a fool answering all those texts that I couldn´t answer..that´s what made me make that other big mistake to get that other text message.  It hurt me when I read it, but at this time I don´t feel as heartbroken like I did two months ago.  

10 hours ago, FudgeSwirl said:

I'm really sorry about your break-up.  Dating for two months isn't that long but it doesn't mean when it is over that it doesn't hurt.

Thank you FudgeSwirl!  I guess that´s what hurts the most..it´s so little time it´s even embarrassing to say that I even had a relationship that only lasted two months!  I think one of the reasons for her breaking up with me so fast was this covid 19 pandemic, as we couldn´t date and be around each other like before..it affects a lot as the exciting part of dating and keep getting to know each other personally is missing.

10 hours ago, FudgeSwirl said:

 I would just add that during a break-up when someone says to just be friends, always take it with a grain of salt even if you really liked or even loved that person.  If this were to happen again with any girl you date, don't reach out to her.  Even if there was the possibility of being friends with an ex, there is a lot to process after a break-up and more often than not both parties are content with just moving on without any direct contact besides the occasional social media "like."

You´re right about that, FudgeSwirl, and thank you for your kind and wise advice!  As you say, the whole dynamics of friendship changes when someone breaks up with you, and it´s better to take some time  from not communicating and reflect if the friendship is even worth it.