Author crazyguy123 Posted September 22, 2020 Author Share Posted September 22, 2020 My ex and I split about 6 weeks ago. Is it weird that she still follows my gym? I realize that when my gym would post a picture of me, she would like it Even my friends would post a picture of me she would like it. She wouldn't like anything else though Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted September 22, 2020 Share Posted September 22, 2020 (edited) 3 minutes ago, crazyguy123 said: My ex and I split about 6 weeks ago. Is it weird that she still follows my gym? Does she still go to the gym? Is she following the gym's page or your personal page? If it's your page reset your privacy setting to limit your content to only those you wish to view it. Also delete and block her number from your phone to prevent pocket dials or unwanted contact. Do you want to get back together? What was the breakup about? Edited September 22, 2020 by Wiseman2 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 23, 2020 Share Posted September 23, 2020 8 hours ago, crazyguy123 said: My ex and I split about 6 weeks ago. Is it weird that she still follows my gym? I realize that when my gym would post a picture of me, she would like it Even my friends would post a picture of me she would like it. She wouldn't like anything else though Not really, no. You're grasping at straws here, crazyguy. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 23, 2020 Share Posted September 23, 2020 It's kind of weird. Once you break up IRL, it's generally best to disconnect on social media. If you dumped her, the fact that she likes pictures posted of you by others is her way of hanging on. It's unhealthy for her & will keep her tethered & slow her healing. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted September 23, 2020 Share Posted September 23, 2020 19 hours ago, crazyguy123 said: My ex and I split about 6 weeks ago. who initiated the break up? Link to post Share on other sites
Author crazyguy123 Posted September 23, 2020 Author Share Posted September 23, 2020 1 hour ago, kendahke said: who initiated the break up? I did. I broke it up because she told me she doesn't know if she wants me in her life or not Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted September 23, 2020 Share Posted September 23, 2020 (edited) 46 minutes ago, crazyguy123 said: I did. I broke it up because she told me she doesn't know if she wants me in her life or not it would appear that she does. Do you want her in your life? If so, you need to tell her and then act like it. If not, block her and tell your friends to stop telling on her to you. Problem solved. Edited September 23, 2020 by kendahke Link to post Share on other sites
Author crazyguy123 Posted September 23, 2020 Author Share Posted September 23, 2020 1 hour ago, kendahke said: it would appear that she does. What do you mean? I told her when we broke up, if she is ever sure she wants to work it out with me, then she can reach out to me Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted September 23, 2020 Share Posted September 23, 2020 (edited) 38 minutes ago, crazyguy123 said: What do you mean? Quote when my gym would post a picture of me, she would like it Even my friends would post a picture of me she would like it. She wouldn't like anything else though 38 minutes ago, crazyguy123 said: I told her when we broke up, if she is ever sure she wants to work it out with me, then she can reach out to me Baby steps... this might be her way of doing just that. Looks like her strategy is right because, well, here you are with this thread you've started. Do you want her in your life? If so, you need to tell her and then act like it. If not, block her and quite worrying about what pictures she's liking. Problem solved. Out of curiosity, why did she say she didn't know if she wanted you in her life or not? What was going on between you two that prompted her to say that? Edited September 23, 2020 by kendahke Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted September 24, 2020 Share Posted September 24, 2020 20 hours ago, crazyguy123 said: she told me she doesn't know if she wants me in her life or not End it for good. Why hang out in the background? Link to post Share on other sites
Author crazyguy123 Posted September 24, 2020 Author Share Posted September 24, 2020 We've been broken up for 6 weeks now. I told her I wanted to break off the relationship because she was telling me that she was feeling overwhelmed and didn't know if she wanted me in her life. Prior to being with me, she was in a relationship for 8 years and told me she never really had the time to be alone. Five weeks after the break up, I ACCIDENTALLY pocket dialed her. Truly by mistake. I think I might have heard her on the phone trying to respond and I immediately hung up. She calls me back a few hours later and I didn't pick up as I was away from my phone. Noticed I missed her call and didn't bother to call back. Later on at night, she texted me saying "not sure if you meant to call. Hope you're doing good." replied "Sorry pocket dial. I'm doing good" She said "okay" and left it at that. what I also find weird, is that I've noticed she's been liking my gym's instagram pictures of me when they would post it up. Any thoughts about this? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 24, 2020 Share Posted September 24, 2020 When you break up you disconnect / unfollow on all social media. Then you don't have this problem. From what I remember of your other threads -- I didn't go back -- but you are fairly young, in your 20s. When somebody is important to you at that age, & then they are no longer your SO, it's overwhelming to think of never speaking to them again. So your generation (& some older ones) think staying connected on social media & liking posts is kind. It is a way of showing that when you broke up & said "we'll always be friends" you meant it. But it's not real. When you get a new SO that person will be annoyed that you are still "friends" with an EX & the connection will cause problems in your new relationship. If your EX gets a new SO 1st do you really want to see happy pictures of them with the new person? If you get an SO 1st don't rub their face in it. Link to post Share on other sites
Lotsgoingon Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 Sounds like she doesn't hate you--that's all I can say. Link to post Share on other sites
Hpchic Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 I get the impression that this wasn’t a bad breakup so she was being courteous in returning your call. Different people handle social media differently after breakups, but I wouldn’t base anything solely on social media likes. If they’re liking your posts and initiating reaching out to you then that’s a different story. Thus far just sounds like friendly behavior on her end. Link to post Share on other sites
ajequals Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 I'd probably ask her out for a coffee. see how she's doing. see where it goes from there. Link to post Share on other sites
Asayi Posted September 25, 2020 Share Posted September 25, 2020 Ok so YOU dumped her because you *feel* like she doesn’t want to be with you anymore, you BLOCKED her and YOU are still expecting HER to reach out to YOU?? Do you realize how incoherent that is? I feel like you manipulated her by breaking up with her. If you really wanted to be with her, you would have fixed it (or at least tried your very best). We don’t breakup relationships juste like that. We work on it: we fix it. You didn’t even try to have a serious talk with her.. She asked for space and next thing you do is ending the relationship. It doesn’t make sense in my opinion. How do you want her to trust you and communicate with you after that? Do you know what breaking up with someone does to that person? You abandoned her. You left. If you truly loved her, you would have tried to work things out with her. What if she was going through a hard and stressful time of her life? What if she was gathering the courage to open up to you and then you just.. dumped her? I’m sorry, but if this girl has self respect, she won’t reach out to you. This one is on you. If you want to fix the relationship, YOU have to reach out to HER. Not the other way around. Your accidental call at least tells you that she is open to communication with you. After all, she tried to call you back. Please don’t ruin it more. Man up and ask her to meet you so that you can talk. Because I can 100% tell you that if this girl respects you and respects herself, she won’t be back. She’ll move on. You ended the relationship. By doing so, you told her that YOU don’t want to be with her anymore. Also, be aware that even if she still loves you, it might take time to win her trust again (and maybe even to win her back). From now, please learn that breaking up is not a game. You breakup when you don’t want to be with the person anymore. Breaking up causes a lot of damages, trust me on this one. As an adult, you have to first try the best you can to fix things with the person you love. You don’t break someone’s heart juste to make a point. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted September 29, 2020 Share Posted September 29, 2020 (edited) On 9/24/2020 at 6:57 PM, crazyguy123 said: Any thoughts about this? As I said above to this: Quote I told her when we broke up, if she is ever sure she wants to work it out with me, then she can reach out to me Do you want her in your life? If so, you need to tell her and then act like it. If not, block her and quite worrying about what pictures she's liking. Problem solved. None of us are in her head and we can't tell you what she's thinking or why she's liking your gym pictures. The only way to get those answers is to talk to her. If you're too afraid to talk to her, then block her and quit checking the gym site to see if she's looking at your pictures. And while you're at it, tell your buddies to quit running to you telling on her for liking the pictures. Edited September 29, 2020 by kendahke Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted September 29, 2020 Share Posted September 29, 2020 Early in this thread, one of the guys gave you 100% correct mark for how to handle a breakup. You did exactly the right thing if you wanted her to move on and not bother trying with you again. Cutting and running is great when you really don't care anymore. However, you seem to wish she was still in a relationship with you. If this is the outcome you wanted, you handled the whole thing 100% wrong. When you noticed distance from her, your reaction was to match the distance Instead of trying to address the problem, you exacerbated it. In a good relationship, you'd have an actual discussion. Something like "things are feeling a bit different between us lately. Is everything OK?" (notice I did not use blame words). When she later said that she didn't know if she wanted to continue with you, note that this was AFTER you'd pulled away. Instead of taking this last chance to try and talk about it, you just ditched her and told her to come back if she changes her mind. Thing is, you've pretty much guaranteed that she won't change her mind. I also want to say that she should have shared her concerns in the first place. And there's no guarantee that even if you had talked about it that problems would have been solved. But please learn from this. If you value a person, talk first. Dump when you find there's no future. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted September 29, 2020 Share Posted September 29, 2020 On 9/25/2020 at 12:57 AM, crazyguy123 said: Later on at night, she texted me saying "not sure if you meant to call. Hope you're doing good." replied "Sorry pocket dial. I'm doing good" She said "okay" and left it at that. what I also find weird, is that I've noticed she's been liking my gym's instagram pictures of me when they would post it up. Any thoughts about this? She feels bad for hurting you and is letting you know there are no hard feelings. She returned your call out of courtesy. I think she doesn't dislike you but isn't in the space to give you the relationship you wanted. Link to post Share on other sites
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