Elleinad Posted August 24, 2020 Share Posted August 24, 2020 I feel exhausted. I can’t sleep properly because I’m constantly thinking of everything that went on, going between being upset and so angry over what I let happen, last night I caused my self a panic attack but at the same time missing him and thinking I should have done things differently. I’m on eggshells, any loud noises/bangs, take me back to being with him and feeling fearful of his mood. I feel like I have to say yes to everyone or I expect a reaction like he used to give me. I cannot snap out of it. I know his behaviour wasn’t normal and people do not react in this way in everyday life but I think I have just come so accustom to it. I don’t know where or how to start overcoming these feelings. I feel so alone, no one seems to understand or believe he could actually be this horrible monster I make him out to be. He’s made me out to be the bad person to everyone. All I did was bow down to him, I couldn’t discuss my feelings in the relationship if I thought something wasn’t right as he would tell me I’m just trying to cause an argument. I just want to curl up in a ball and cry forever. Someone please help me see the light. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 24, 2020 Share Posted August 24, 2020 When did you leave the relationship? Make sure you have deleted and blocked him and all his people from all your social media and messaging apps and life In addition to talking to your doctor and therapist about it get support from trusted friends and family. Also get support from groups that understand domestic violence. Link to post Share on other sites
TeddyBundy1993 Posted August 24, 2020 Share Posted August 24, 2020 I agree dear you need to see a therapist first of all. You need rest sleep before anything. Looks like you were dumped out of the blue so being shock is normal. You didnt give much details but from what you are telling about him he sounds like a controlling narcissist freak. Getting accustomed to any sort of abuse is a crime against yourself and self destructive. Before you analyze anything you need to get your head clear for now focus to relax your mind try to get rest sound sleep. Avoid all triggers ask help from a friend or family member? Such a relationship wont define you in anyway and someday you'll realize this happened for the best. Let go of this rotten man, keep him blocked focus on yourself get healthy take it a day at once. Time will heal everything, this guy these fears will be history one day. Link to post Share on other sites
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