How to stop acting CRAZY after relationship ended

[Elleinad]

I posted the other day about struggling after an abusive relationship ended.

Today I found out that my ex had been having another woman in our flat just 2 weeks after I left. He is now living with her. 

I know I left, and he is single and free to do what he wants. The relationship wasn’t healthy so I know I did the right thing leaving. But I can’t help feeling so hurt. Up until I found out about this he’s being saying to me he still loves me, maybe we can sort etc. We’d still been sleeping together up until he started bringing her to the flat.

Last night I was literally hysterical in tears over this stupid man, I bombarded him with texts and calls and when he ignores me, that seems to make me a million times worse. Anyway I’ve woken up this morning and know I look like a complete idiot. I’ve deleted his number so I cannot text him anymore but why am I still wanting to hear from him. Please help me. I am so exhausted. 😭

[TeddyBundy1993]

It happens and it's pretty normal. After a relationship ends it takes time to adjust in a life without your ex. It's like getting over an addiction, the more you keep away from your ex you recover everyday. He has another women let him have her, he won't change and maker her suffer too after honeymoon period ends. You did what's needed by deleting his number, block him everywhere so he doesnt reaches you.  Dont go through his social media, slowly you'll get over him. As you described it was an abusive relationship, you did right by walking out. It hurts but much better better than prolong pain and suffering.  Once you are over this, give life a chance with someone else, your life didnt ended here. Stay strong it will pass.

[Wiseman2]

Why haven't you been to the doctor yet about your anxiety and depression? You need to get help with that.

[Calmandfocused]

Elle, I have a background in abusive relationships. I know exactly what you feel and what your going through. 
 

Ok first things first. You need to take step back, grieve, stop contacting him and educate yourself. Knowledge is taking your power back. 
 

You are Trauma Bonded to this man. Google this extensively and it will all make sense - trust me. 
 

Additionally read Lundy Bancroft “ why does he do that” 

H G Tudor (a narcissist) and YouTube provide a lot of information regarding “new supply” (ie new partners). By reading this you will understand that this new woman will get exactly the same treatment as you. Do not let her presence distress you. Ironically, her existence will help you to break free irrespective of whether your ex is actually a narcissist or not. 
 

Hang in there. You’ve got this. As aforementioned I’ve been where you are a few times and it does get better. I promise. 
 

However one final word of advice: do not under any circumstances get back with him or engage with him.  Your current behaviour is showing your ex how “ powerful, special and significant” he is. He is not! And he doesn’t deserve your attention.  Focus your attention on loving yourself, helping yourself and building up your sense of value and worth. 

Edited August 26, 2020 by Calmandfocused

[d0nnivain]

Tears are cathartic.  Allow yourself to grieve. 

Good for you for deleting his number.  It's the best thing since you can't control yourself from being crazy & blowing up his phone.  It's good that you can't now.  

Healing takes time.  Since you moved out, you have new surroundings that shouldn't be daily reminders.  Throw yourself into work.  Take up a new hobby.  Focus on your future.  Surround yourself with supportive friends & family.  In a bad break up I used to make lists:  why my EX is a jerk; why I'm better off without him; what I want to accomplish now that I'm free & eventually a plan to meet new people.  You are no where ready for that last one.  Perhaps it can be part of your New Year's resolution but not yet.  

Hang in there.  Just stay NC.  You will get through this & you will get over him.