primer Posted August 27, 2020 Share Posted August 27, 2020 Ghosting has such a bad rap. Don't you think it is necessary some times? I repeatedly told my ex to leave me alone. He was in a new relationship but kept wanting to talk to me and come over. He lied about the relationship by telling me it ended. I had no interest in being part of a love triangle and I told him that. Sometimes he would text to make small talk. Finally I blocked him on my cell phone (neither one of us is on Facebook or Instagram). When he would call my home phone, I would not answer. What other choice did I have? Do you think ghosting was necessary in this case? Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 27, 2020 Share Posted August 27, 2020 This isn't exactly "ghosting" as most would understand it, though. It's not in the same territory as randomly disappearing from a relationship that seemingly had been going well. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CTAtlanta Posted August 27, 2020 Share Posted August 27, 2020 13 minutes ago, primer said: Ghosting has such a bad rap. Don't you think it is necessary some times? I repeatedly told my ex to leave me alone. He was in a new relationship but kept wanting to talk to me and come over. He lied about the relationship by telling me it ended. I had no interest in being part of a love triangle and I told him that. Sometimes he would text to make small talk. Finally I blocked him on my cell phone (neither one of us is on Facebook or Instagram). When he would call my home phone, I would not answer. What other choice did I have? Do you think ghosting was necessary in this case? Trust me, as Expat said below...what you've done isn't ghosting. You're just avoiding a loser that won't leave you alone. Don't feel guilty or ashamed. Read my thread...that's what "ghosting" is. It's horrible. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TeddyBundy1993 Posted August 27, 2020 Share Posted August 27, 2020 Ghosting is when block someone without any explaination I believe. You gave him reasons and all. And at the end of the day you are the one who decides who's gonna stay in your life and who wont. So it's a wise decision overall, and there's nothing wrong in it. After a break up even if you decide to be friends, such friendship should be given a chance after a long time. So you did right, you were protecting yourself and theres nothing wrong in it. Meanwhile your ex should have respected your choice of being left alone, even after being asked by you he probably didnt left you with any choice. You are right and this isnt ghosting. So dont give it a second thought. Wish you all the best. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 27, 2020 Share Posted August 27, 2020 4 hours ago, primer said: I blocked him on my cell phone When he would call my home phone, I would not answer. What are the stalking and harassment laws like in your area? This is not "ghosting", this is blocking a stalker. Make sure you reset all your privacy settings on all your messaging apps and social media. Link to post Share on other sites
Uptown182 Posted August 28, 2020 Share Posted August 28, 2020 As others have said this isn’t ghosting. This sounds like ignoring a guy who’s already in another relationship and trying to get you to be his side piece. It’s not ghosting, it’s using your common sense. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
FudgeSwirl Posted August 28, 2020 Share Posted August 28, 2020 Ghosting would be if you were in a relationship or if it were just a friendship and one day out of the blue you completely cut off contact. What your ex is doing is harassment and you had every right to block him after you made it clear to him you had no interest in him regardless. You should call your phone company to see if you can block his number on your house phone. If he knows where you currently live, please be careful and definitely don't let him inside no matter what sob story he has. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Luna66star Posted August 29, 2020 Share Posted August 29, 2020 You told the guy to leave you alone and he kept bothering you. What other option was there but to ghost? I believe you are having a hard time letting this dude go. The question of whether to ghost or not reflects your ambivalence in this situation. Link to post Share on other sites
dangerous Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 On 8/27/2020 at 5:34 PM, primer said: Ghosting has such a bad rap. Don't you think it is necessary some times? I repeatedly told my ex to leave me alone. He was in a new relationship but kept wanting to talk to me and come over. He lied about the relationship by telling me it ended. I had no interest in being part of a love triangle and I told him that. Sometimes he would text to make small talk. Finally I blocked him on my cell phone (neither one of us is on Facebook or Instagram). When he would call my home phone, I would not answer. What other choice did I have? Do you think ghosting was necessary in this case? Not ghosting. You have gone NC, understandably in my opinion. Well done you! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 31, 2020 Share Posted August 31, 2020 On 8/27/2020 at 12:34 PM, primer said: I repeatedly told my ex to leave me alone. What other choice did I have? Do you think ghosting was necessary in this case? You did not ghost anybody. Ghosting is when you disappear with no warning or explanation. It is never OK. Common courtesy mandates that you state it's over. You made your desire for NC clear. You simply cut off a pest's access to annoy you. You told him to stop. He didn't. You blocked to enforce NC That is not ghosting. It was also necessary Link to post Share on other sites
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