Am I being pushed too far by my boyfriend?

[Standingupformyself]

I thought I found a really great relationship and I’ve been with this person for almost a year. I must admit it got intense pretty fast but I believe that in many ways we are very compatible. He is very affectionate and loving and it’s taking me a really long time to find somebody like him. The current issue is that my boyfriend has been asking me to get married for at least five months, yes, very early for a relationship when you only see each other basically on the weekends. When I hesitate and say I think we need to spend more time together before we make such a commitment, he’ll get upset and ask “are you still shopping”? Of course I’m not!

he also keeps badgering me and asking me what are you waiting for you waiting for one of us to get sick? We are both in our 60s I’m in my low 60s and he is in his high 60s. However we both are very healthy and even though I know something happened at a moments notice especially at our age I don’t think that’s a reason to jump the gun. The problem is that an order for us to spend more time together one of us has to give up our business and our home. In other words, we each have our own professional practices and our own homes and we live110 miles away. While he only works four days a week and I work five days a week, I’m the only one who can try to do some of my work remotely for the time being. He kept on saying to me early in a relationship that he was ready to sell his house and his practice move down with me however several months ago he said that he would only do that if we would already be married. Another words after we get married he would first moved back to his old town and sell his house and practice. What happens if that doesn’t happen? He’s lived in the town his entire life. I know how people get attached to their hometown even when there’s almost noWant there to be with anymore. The one thing he does have in the area 1 mile away from his home is his golf course he absolutely loves. He is a golf addict and the closest golf course to me is not far away but is a totally private club and will cost a good chunk of change for us to belong. He has tried to get me into golf and I’m really trying but I’m not that crazy about it I only do it just to spend time with him.

so according to him we have it we have two choices one is for him to move in with me so we can spend all our time together except for the hours I might be working and then he could find a part-time job here and the other option is for me to move where he is however it will take definitely some time to sell my practice which is much larger than his and involves partners and his does not. I also have a much bigger home which may be more difficult to sell and to get ready to sell as well as a elderly cat who needs my time and attention although I could probably get my son or somebody in the area to take care of him on a part-time basis if need be.

what I’m saying is it’s not as simple as I’m just gonna pack my bags and move in with him at least not yet. I’ve tried talking to him and telling him compromise is essential to make a relationship successful but I just don’t see any compromise on his end. I had even talked him in the past about getting engaged and that was gonna be enough to move down here and I don’t think that’s gonna work. In fact he doesn’t even really want to be engaged he just wants to go get married at the justice of the peace.
i tried talking him to one more time the other day and he again was perplexed by why I was hesitating so much thinking that I’m wasting time and I even maybe wasting his time. He even said at one point you are so independent extremely independent and I think he said he believes I assume he will keep on driving down here to see me every single weekend for at least another year and I don’t think you ever really be ready to be married. Well maybe there’s a little truth to all of that I am very very independent I’ve had to be because I’ve been widowed for 10 years but it’s not to say I wouldn’t want to get married to him it’s just saying that I’ve only been seeing in barely a year and except for a week here in a week there we’ve only seen each other on weekends and we have and we haven’t even seen each other every single week and there’s been a few that we’ve missed over the last few months.
 

I just don’t know what to do at this point because I don’t want to lose him but I don’t know how I can get him to be more compromising and understanding. And truthfully that raises a  bigger issue which is I get the feeling like it’s his way or the highway is that the way he is? I kept on telling him I would make efforts to come up to see him for at least a few days or at least we alternate weekends and maybe I could stay an extra day or two and perhaps you could work one less day so that we could spend more like half the week together rather than just  Friday night Saturday and Sunday. Is this a hopeless cause? I just feel like he’s pushing me really really hard to do what it is he wants to do and he’s not willing to compromise at all.

[d0nnivain]

You post this every so often under different screen names & you get the same answers:  

don't marry him & if walks because you won't behave in a reckless manner, you haven't lost much.  

[SincereOnlineGuy]

Well help us cut to the crux of this?

 

What are his incentives for getting married?

 

Who has more money, and by how much?  (use percentages)

 

I like the fact that you are thinking and analyzing this.

 

As I began to read, I was thinking a lot would depend upon your age...   (and I started guessing  "24"  or  "34") (for no actual 'reason')

 

But we out here have know understanding as to the bottom line:    "what ELSE  is in it for him ???"

 

 

[Wiseman2]

Pushing for quick involvement is always a red flag. Discuss things with your accounts, attorneys, financial planners and trusted adult children, friends and family.

[Standingupformyself]

I have more. Hard to say exactly since he hasn’t told me what he has but he did say he lost $750,000 from last 2 divorces. He’s been divorced twice but first marriage lasted 20 years and second one 10 years. 
if I had to make an educated guess I probably have at least double but likely more. 

[Wiseman2]

11 minutes ago, Standingupformyself said:

 he did say he lost $750,000 from last 2 divorces.

👟👟Run.

[Standingupformyself]

I understand 2 divorces isn’t a good thing but ppl make mistakes and each lasted many years.

[Wiseman2]

7 minutes ago, Standingupformyself said:

I understand 2 divorces isn’t a good thing but ppl make mistakes and each lasted many years.

Bullying you is not 'ppl make mistakes'.