Citing age as a reason for settling 'I'm not getting any younger!

[Azincourt]

2 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

Don't date because she'd want a great guy? 🤔

People can date if they like, or not date if they like.I

I'm not sure whether you're living in the 1950s or on the moon. 😄

Don't date if she can't find a guy who fulfills all or most of what she's looking for in a man.

What's the point of being in a relationship with someone we're not attracted. Someone we're bored by. Someone we'd rather climb a mountain under a 115F rather than spend time with them.

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Video games and porn have somewhat to do with it but the internet in general has a radicalizing affect. If you were bitter towards the opposite sex back in the day you had actively seek out people who felt the same as you do and by the time you did chances are you calmed down by then. 

There really isn't there much of a reason for men to be bitter towards the opposite sex. None at all. These men who complain about women weren't born in Iran.

Iranian men not only start off by having to compete with each other aggressively, as there are far more young men in Iran than there are young women, but they also have to contend with the way their society is set up. Groom gotta have his own house. Groom has to have land, or jewels, or liquid money, or anything that is equal or superior to the tag price the father has set for his daughter, and most 18-30 year old guys with the economy, the war that destroyed their Country, and the embargos, can't really hope to find a wife, or at the very leat one they want to get with.

In the west, what's there to complain about women?

More than enough of them are open to casual sex and to relationships that don't require the guy to spend money on them, there's hundreds of millions of women, millions upon millions of physically attractive women to meet and to date, as long as he's not creepy(which these guys are) and as long as they aren't expecting anything.

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These days you can just go on reddit or any other site and read all the rhetoric you want about how women are untrustworthy and hypergamous and only want alpha chades or about how men are trash and all they do is use up a woman's emotional labor. You can spend hours upon hours working yourself into a frenzy and by the time you are done you barely even want to look at a member of the opposite sex. When these people then venture into the offline world do you think those feelings are turned off? Dating has just completely gone down the tubes.

Reddit is filled with socially awkward men who are only interested in women who look like Justin Bieber's wife while they themselves think a diet based on 10 bags of doritos and 10 gallons of soda is going to give them the body these women want in a man.

[Weezy1973]

14 hours ago, enigma32 said:

This is why you have so many financially successful yet confused ladies wondering why men aren't lining up to be with her now that she is 35, educated, and earning a hefty wage.

This has been shown to be false many times over. Educated (and therefore higher earning on average) are actually far more likely to be married than uneducated, lower earning women.

https://www.nber.org/papers/w15725

”Marriage and remarriage rates have risen for women with a college degree relative to women with fewer years of education. However, the patterns of, and reasons for, marriage have changed. College educated women marry later, have fewer children, are less likely to view marriage as "financial security", are happier in their marriages and with their family life, and are not only the least likely to divorce, but have had the biggest decrease in divorce since the 1970s compared to women without a college degree.”

[Azincourt]

16 hours ago, enigma32 said:

Haha Ya just can't help but make a personal dig against me and my choice in ladies. So bitter. 

Lemme guess, ignored by attractive young women for most of the 20s, only to finally come into money in the 30s,  suddenly aflush with early 20s gold-diggers, and a ''Man going his own way '' is born, and a very deep bitterness felt for women in their 30s is born, because they remind the guy he can only get with the women he wants to get by paying cash, upfront.

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This is why you have so many financially successful yet confused ladies wondering why men aren't lining up to be with her now that she is 35, educated, and earning a hefty wage.

We do? Where are those financially successful ladies who can't find a man now that they are 35?

You mean the successful women who are in a long-term relationship/marriage since the age of 25 and as such they aren't on the dating market?

Or the successful women who were busy making a life for themselves in their 20s and now have the time to date, and have now the financially means to support a child?

I don't see women lining-up to marry 35 year old men.  And I certainly don't see 21 year old women lining-up to marry 35 year old men. I mean, it happens often and plenty in Saudi Arabia, Russia, Brazil, and Africa, India included to name a few, but it's not like the freedom to choose whom they want is a popular thing in those regions, dunno.

You're aware that most 35 year old men aren't Cristiano Ronaldo, Leo Messi, or Ryan Gosling, yeh?

Saying a 35 year old man is full with dating options is like saying  the people whose username has enigma in it are 25 year old twin brother to Brad Pitt.  You can't just assume how a person looks like, bro!

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”Marriage and remarriage rates have risen for women with a college degree relative to women with fewer years of education. However, the patterns of, and reasons for, marriage have changed. College educated women marry later, have fewer children, are less likely to view marriage as "financial security", are happier in their marriages and with their family life, and are not only the least likely to divorce, but have had the biggest decrease in divorce since the 1970s compared to women without a college degree.”

These guys stay away from college-educated women with successful careers, and they stay away from women in their 30s, because they are not as easy to manipulate as a 21 year old straight out of college is.  It has nothing to do with '' I'd rather date a 21 year old than date a 35 year old who slept with 1000 guys,'' which not gona lie, has a pang of homoerotic touch to it all, actually assuming most women have slept with a huge number of men,  but everything to do with women their own age and with as much money as they do: won't date douchebags.

Edited September 8, 2020 by Azincourt

[elaine567]

17 hours ago, enigma32 said:

Haha Ya just can't help but make a personal dig against me and my choice in ladies. So bitter. 

Not at all, just warning you that thinking you can avoid deep, intellectual  conversations with your woman, means she will love you for it...
She won't.

[CaliforniaGirl]

18 hours ago, Azincourt said:

Don't date if she can't find a guy who fulfills all or most of what she's looking for in a man.

What's the point of being in a relationship with someone we're not attracted. Someone we're bored by. Someone we'd rather climb a mountain under a 115F rather than spend time with them.

 

Why does it have to be the perfect guy to just have fun (if he's up for the same), for practice getting back into the dating game, to figure out what you really want at a given stage of life, to get to know someone new, or even just for sex (again, if he's on board too)? You don't know (nor do I) what any given woman, or man, wants at any given time.

And, who said not attracted, or so grossed out she'd rather burn herself to death than go out with him? There ARE points in the middle, you know.

[Azincourt]

Never said the guy had to be perfect. What I said was what's the point of dating a guy if the case is, the dating options she has are not up to what she expects. Better to be single. I'm not going to date someone I'm not crazy about.  Waste of time and youth. Better to be single than to be with someone my hormones don't go crazy about when I look at her.

There are no points in the middle for me.

I look at her for the first time and I want to have sex with her right there?

Then that's someone I can see mysel bothering with:

A) being my charming self, as molst of the time I'm my wide-shoulders brooding and dark self.

B) Entertaining pretending to care about what she's saying so she feels like I really get her.

C) Is she soemone I wouldn't mind getting pregnant because she's so attractive the chances I have of fathering the next Marlon Brando(A Streetcar Named Desire)?

Then I'm down for it, bro.

That's what I consider to be dating.  Being attracted so much to someone that you're willing to put up with their dramas, their problems, their parents, and you're willing to put in effort to get her, instead of giving up from the get-go because the juice ain't worth the squeeze.

I just assumed she was the same way when it came to dating. 

Edited September 8, 2020 by Azincourt

[CaliforniaGirl]

20 minutes ago, Azincourt said:

Never said the guy had to be perfect. What I said was what's the point of dating a guy if the case is, the dating options she has are not up to what she expects. Better to be single. I'm not going to date someone I'm not crazy about.  Waste of time and youth. Better to be single than to be with someone my hormones don't go crazy about when I look at her.

There are no points in the middle for me.

I look at her for the first time and I want to have sex with her right there?

Then that's someone I can see mysel bothering with:

A) being my charming self, as molst of the time I'm my wide-shoulders brooding and dark self.

B) Entertaining pretending to care about what she's saying so she feels like I really get her.

C) Is she soemone I wouldn't mind getting pregnant because she's so attractive the chances I have of fathering the next Marlon Brando(A Streetcar Named Desire)?

Then I'm down for it, bro.

That's what I consider to be dating.  Being attracted so much to someone that you're willing to put up with their dramas, their problems, their parents, and you're willing to put in effort to get her, instead of giving up from the get-go because the juice ain't worth the squeeze.

I just assumed she was the same way when it came to dating. 

Okay.

Well, I'm sure some people are like this. And others are not. A lot of people will give it a try to see if things develop, provided there is initial attraction. 

I don't know a lot of people who think it's all or nothing - not attracted, zero, or else checks off most of the boxes. People don't know eachother well right off the bat no matter what they write on a dating profile.

[Weezy1973]

29 minutes ago, Azincourt said:

That's what I consider to be dating.  Being attracted so much to someone that you're willing to put up with their dramas, their problems, their parents, and you're willing to put in effort to get her, instead of giving up from the get-go because the juice ain't worth the squeeze.

I just assumed she was the same way when it came to dating. 

That’s an odd assumption. Everybody’s different. 

 

9 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

Well, I'm sure some people are like this. And others are not. A lot of people will give it a try to see if things develop, provided there is initial attraction. 

I don't know a lot of people who think it's all or nothing - not attracted, zero, or else checks off most of the boxes. People don't know eachother well right off the bat no matter what they write on a dating profile.

Exactly. Opening oneself up to different ways to be attracted widens the pool of potential partners. Immediate attraction, great! Attraction that grows over time, also great! Why limit yourself?

[Woggle]

Education and success greatly increase a woman's odds of having a successful marriage. Just because women with terrible personalities blame their supposed strength and independence on their relationship woes does not mean it is actually the case. You have a junkie who can't hold down a job talking about how she is too strong and independent and men can't handle it.

[CaliforniaGirl]

8 hours ago, Weezy1973 said:

This has been shown to be false many times over. Educated (and therefore higher earning on average) are actually far more likely to be married than uneducated, lower earning women.

https://www.nber.org/papers/w15725

”Marriage and remarriage rates have risen for women with a college degree relative to women with fewer years of education. However, the patterns of, and reasons for, marriage have changed. College educated women marry later, have fewer children, are less likely to view marriage as "financial security", are happier in their marriages and with their family life, and are not only the least likely to divorce, but have had the biggest decrease in divorce since the 1970s compared to women without a college degree.”

Oh, thank God. Reason.

[basil67]

34 minutes ago, enigma32 said:

And again, why should a man care about a woman's financial success

Alimony

[CaliforniaGirl]

1 hour ago, enigma32 said:

Straw man. I never claimed that college educated women marry less often than their less educated peers, I just said that education is not exactly what most men are looking for in their women. There have been plenty of educated ladies posting here in LS, lauding their wonderful education and career, and wondering why men are not lining up to be with them as a result of it. Also, correlation does not equal causation. 

But it must be...if they are marrying them.

[Woggle]

Education is a plus but if a woman has a terrible personality everything else is null and void for many men. Women who struggle with men and relationships tend to put the blame in the wrong place which is how we get the myth that men don't want intelligent and independent women. Most of the women I know who have education, success and a personality that a man wants to live with tend to do very well in their love lives.

[basil67]

1 hour ago, enigma32 said:

Men do not often receive alimony. Myself for example, I do not believe in alimony and I would never request it even if I were entitled to it under the law. 

No, alimony due to her.   Plenty of guys here complain about having to pay a fortune in alimony or feeling hard done by in the marriage settlement.  But if her ability to earn was still as solid as ever and on par with the man's income, then the financial split would be closer to 50/50

[Azincourt]

10 hours ago, basil67 said:

Alimony

Alimony?

Kinda like Jeff Bezo's wife was a successful woman in her own right, never lacked for money, and still took 60 billions with her? 

Women with college degrees, women who are wealthy from their own endeavours would never really dream about taking money from their ex-husbands because they don't need to!

Marrying a high-school graduate doesn't mean the guy's gonna be stuck paying alimony, and honestly, if I was married and if I was rich I'd rather be paying alimony to a 19 year old Playboy model than to an average-looking ex-wife like Jeff Bezo's was when she was young, and still is.

Besides, alimony is a thing of the past. No one who ain't rich and ain't living in 1890 is paying all that much alimony ,and those who are paying alimony are paying it for only a few years.

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The determination of alimony varies greatly from state to state within the U.S.[6] Some state statutes, including those of Texas, Montana, Kansas, Utah, Kentucky and Maine, give explicit guidelines to judges on the amount and/or duration of alimony. In Texas, Mississippi and Tennessee, for example, alimony is awarded only in cases of marriage or civil union of ten years or longer and the payments are limited to three years unless there are special, extenuating circumstances.

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Furthermore, the amount of spousal support is limited to the lesser of $2,500 per month or 40% of the payee's gross income.[24][25][26] In Delaware, spousal support is usually not awarded in marriages of less than 10 years.[24] In Kansas, alimony awards cannot exceed 121 months.[24] In Utah, the duration of alimony cannot exceed the length of the marriage.[24] In Maine, Mississippi, and Tennessee alimony is awarded in marriages or civil union of 10 to 20 years and the duration is half the length of the marriage barring extenuating circumstances.[24] Other states, including California, Nevada and New York, have relatively vague statutes which simply list the "factors" a judge should consider when determining alimony (see list of factors below).[24][27][28][29] In these states, the determination of duration and amount of alimony is left to the discretion of the family court judges who must consider case law in each state. In Mississippi, Texas and Tennessee, for example, there are 135 Appellate Cases in addition to 47 sections of State Statute that shape divorce law. As a result of these Appellate Cases, for example, Mississippi judges cannot order an end date to any alimony award. In 2012, Massachusetts signed into law comprehensive alimony reform. This law sets limits on alimony and eliminates lifetime alimony. Similarly, in 2013, Colorado signed into law alimony (Spousal Maintenance) reform, creating a standardized non-presumptive guideline upon which courts can rely.[30]

Marriage and co-habitation in the 21th century makes as much sense as drinking vodka to keep myself warm in the middle of the Spanish desert.  But hey, if you're gonna get married, at least get the best bang for your dollar,  because apparently women who only have a high-school diploma are gold-diggers, and college-educated women are the best a man can ever hope to marry. And they have high standards.

They won't marry a guy who doesn't have a college degree himself .That's why most of these college women are very happy with their romantic lives.

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The dating gap: why the odds are stacked against female graduates finding a like-minded man

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More women than men are graduating in many countries – but according to Date-onomics, a new book on hook-up culture, there’s a downside: there may not be enough educated men to go round. Is it time to widen the search?

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About 14 years ago, the psyches of successful single women were singed with worry when journalist John Schwartz wrote a New York Times article titled “Glass Ceiling at Altar as Well as Bedroom.” He claimed that “men would rather marry their secretaries than their bosses.”

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The following year, Maureen Dowd agreed with Schwartz and followed with another Times column (and a book, Are Men Necessary?). The authors’ clear thesis: Men prefer to marry down. Since then, the media have continued with this narrative, lending credence to the successful women dating blues.

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Many of the college-educated, professional, or financially successful women in our coaching program worry that they are overqualified for love. Some think it best to hide their success when they meet a guy.

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Both Schwartz and Dowd relied on one study to support their claims. Let’s scrutinize this study, which was published in the Journal of Evolution and Human Behavior. Researchers tested 120 male undergraduates by asking them to rate their attraction to a photo of a woman who was described as a “supervisor,” “co-worker,” or “assistant.”

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When it came to dating or marriage, these undergraduates indicated that they were more attracted to the “assistants.” That’s it. From this study of undergraduates, the authors concluded that men prefer nonthreatening women as life partners.

Geez, I guess I'll have to marry a college-graduate, because if I don't know how am I going to be able to discuss the theory of mercantilism that took place in the 16th century, instead of choosing a wife that I'll never need to talk to because we'll be too busy spending all day in bed because we can't take our hands off each other.

Geez, I guess I'll have to marry a college-graduate, because if I don't do it, I don't know how am I going to be able to discuss the theory of mercantilism that took place in the 16th century, instead of choosing a wife that I'll never need to talk to because we'll be too busy spending all day in bed because we can't take our hands off each other.

(hit the gym hard bros)

(hit the gym hard bros)

Edited September 9, 2020 by Azincourt

[QuietRiot]

6 minutes ago, Azincourt said:

Alimony?

Kinda like Jeff Bezo's wife was a successful woman in her own right, never lacked for money, and still took 60 billions with her? 

Women with college degrees, women who are wealthy from their own endeavours would never really dream about taking money from their ex-husbands because they don't need to!

Marrying a high-school graduate doesn't mean the guy's gonna be stuck paying alimony, and honestly, if I was married and if I was rich I'd rather be paying alimony to a 19 year old Playboy model than to an average-looking ex-wife like Jeff Bezo's was when she was young, and still is.

Besides, alimony is a thing of the past. No one who ain't rich and ain't living in 1890 is paying all that much alimony ,and those who are paying alimony are paying it for only a few years.

Marriage and co-habitation in the 21th century makes as much sense as drinking vodka to keep myself warm in the middle of the Spanish desert.  But hey, if you're gonna get married, at least get the best bang for your dollar,  because apparently women who only have a high-school diploma are gold-diggers, and college-educated women are the best a man can ever hope to marry. And they have high standards.

They won't marry a guy who doesn't have a college degree himself .That's why most of these college women are very happy with their romantic lives.

Geez, I guess I'll have to marry a college-graduate, because if I don't know how am I going to be able to discuss the theory of mercantilism that took place in the 16th century, instead of choosing a wife that I'll never need to talk to because we'll be too busy spending all day in bed because we can't take our hands off each other.

(hit the gym hard bros)

|When I found out some woman friend of a friend was still getting alimony, even though her sons were grown 20-somethings, married, with children...she was STILL getting almiony for whatever reason.

Apparently, she never worked for a living from marriage until post-divorce. Although, her alimony eventually came to an end, and she had to sell the big house she lived in and moved into a separate dwelling on her son's property.

[Weezy1973]

12 hours ago, enigma32 said:

Straw man. I never claimed that college educated women marry less often than their less educated peers, I just said that education is not exactly what most men are looking for in their women.

Whether men care about it or not, those women are more likely to be married, and happier in their marriages than their non-educated counterparts. 

 

12 hours ago, enigma32 said:

There have been plenty of educated ladies posting here in LS, lauding their wonderful education and career, and wondering why men are not lining up to be with them as a result of it.

But these are the exception to the rule, as the research I posted shows. Surely you aren’t making generalizations to all women based on a few exceptions to the rule, rather than basing your beliefs on actual evidence?

 

12 hours ago, enigma32 said:

Also, correlation does not equal causation. 

Never claimed it did. Educated, high earning women are more likely to be in happier marriages than non-educated women. That’s just a fact. Again, it seems that whether or not men care about a woman’s education and career is largely irrelevant.

[Azincourt]

4 hours ago, QuietRiot said:

|When I found out some woman friend of a friend was still getting alimony, even though her sons were grown 20-somethings, married, with children...she was STILL getting almiony for whatever reason.

Apparently, she never worked for a living from marriage until post-divorce. Although, her alimony eventually came to an end, and she had to sell the big house she lived in and moved into a separate dwelling on her son's property.

Those are occurences within the baby-boomer population. Very few millennials with the exception of rich athletes and actors have that happen to them.  Plenty of my friends from high school and college have already had their starter marriage and their starter divorce and they ain't paying anything other than child-support. 

The secret is to marry a woman who makes more money than you, so when your wife divorces you or you divorce her,  you won't lose out on anything.  You won't lose the house and you won't lose the money. Of course if you play it smart you don't even buy a house together. Each of you chill in your own house and meet a few times a week, for dinner, for intellectual conversations about the Great Emur War of 1932, then each back to your house, and when the divorce takes place, everyone will leave it without becoming poorer for it.

[Ruby Slippers]

3 hours ago, Weezy1973 said:

Educated, high earning women are more likely to be in happier marriages than non-educated women. That’s just a fact. Again, it seems that whether or not men care about a woman’s education and career is largely irrelevant.

This is true. Higher education levels in both partners is associated with marital longevity. 

Most men I've had relationships respect that I'm self-sufficient and not reliant on what they have or can give me, but naturally assume the provider role. The only one who had a clear preference for women who are educated with a good income is the one whose ex-wife didn't work during the marriage and took half the assets upon divorce - and even he hardly ever agreed to let me pay for anything.

This traditional dynamic has its appeal, but a man is smart to be very, very choosy about her character. From what I've seen, most men who have this bitterness about a failed marriage and divorce in which he felt screwed never recover and love again, so it's definitely something to be avoided.

[CaliforniaGirl]

I don't know why I'm the only one this has ever happened to...but it seems like I am. So it must be me. But...I don't think I went out with more than one or two guys in all my years of dating, who didn't want me to want my own future and to row my own boat. I mean...not even when I was a teenager. We were talking about larger things even then. ETA: And they were always the same, although with all different careers, obviously. Nearly every man I've met has wanted a career and not just a job and has wanted a working girlfriend to at least loosely to feel the same: that she has these goals rather than just biding her time or something. That she isn't going to rely on the guy to be her whole world, maybe that's it? - since work takes up a large portion of one's day and is the obvious place where individual goals could emerge.

I know it's not because I'm a corporate ball-buster or anything. I'm not a CEO. I don't like to lead anybody, really. I'm not good at it and I'm too disorganized. Actually, the "biggest" I ever got was an editor for an international magazine. But I wasn't clawing my way to try to be Editor in Chief or anything. So I feel like it can't be my personality in general that was the reason...I just don't know what the reason was.

But in the end I rarely if ever met guys who didn't want women who wanted to advance themselves in some way rather than sit there and be a receptionist or something and maybe become a hanger-on financially or something in the end. I don't know. I assumed this meant...most guys want a woman who isn't straight out of the 50s. Can any other woman here stand up and say she also met men who wanted women to have their own goals? Or...no?

Edited September 9, 2020 by CaliforniaGirl

[Woggle]

Despite what some women say most men are not misogynists who want to hold women down. Most of us want an equal relationship but we don't want an antagonistic relationship and some hardcore gender warriors don't understand the difference. Most people don't want a woman who thinks being nice and loving towards a man equals submission to the patriarchy anymore than most women want a man who thinks doing that is being a simp.

I am glad to have a partner in crime who I can side to side with as equals and make a life together but I don't want to fight the gender war in my home. Every couple has disagreements but I don't want somebody who treats me like the enemy. I don't feel that makes me a misogynist.

[Azincourt]

I don't know about the whole we want equal relationships. I don't mind when a woman makes more money than I do. I actually like it. 

It shows her to be ambitious and hard-working, and that's always attractive.  It's just that I don't care if I date a doctor or a waiter. As long as both are physically attractive, charming, funny, and into me as much as I am into them : i'm game.

One of the reasons I loved the time I lived in Greece was because the women had no expectations in the men they dated other than the guy making enough to support himself, with the way of the economy it's not like they were holding out for a Prime-Minister.

[Ruby Slippers]

18 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

So I feel like it can't be my personality in general that was the reason...I just don't know what the reason was.

I think it's probably mostly about how you present yourself, which is rooted in your own goals and experiences. I grew up in a pretty old school family where my mom never had to work outside the home and my dad worked hard to bring home the bacon. This is what she and my dad both wanted, and she definitely defers to him in general because of it. My dad has his strong points, but generally my mom is smarter with better judgment. Still, she tends to defer to him because he was always the breadwinner. And it ended up being a good deal for him, because now in his old age he's disabled and she's an excellent caretaker.

I think one of the most interesting things about our time is that with more autonomy, women are beginning to do things our way, which in some cases makes more sense than the old-school masculine way. 

[CaliforniaGirl]

15 minutes ago, Ruby Slippers said:

I think it's probably mostly about how you present yourself, which is rooted in your own goals and experiences. I grew up in a pretty old school family where my mom never had to work outside the home and my dad worked hard to bring home the bacon. This is what she and my dad both wanted, and she definitely defers to him in general because of it. My dad has his strong points, but generally my mom is smarter with better judgment. Still, she tends to defer to him because he was always the breadwinner. And it ended up being a good deal for him, because now in his old age he's disabled and she's an excellent caretaker.

I think one of the most interesting things about our time is that with more autonomy, women are beginning to do things our way, which in some cases makes more sense than the old-school masculine way. 

Oh, perhaps. I've never acted masculine at all (I'm a wear-pink girly girl, my family ribs me about the pink thing) but I do know I've always wanted to not just be a weight around anyone's neck, plus I have always wanted something bigger as a goal than just working to eat and that's it.

What you say about oldschool masculinity rings a bell because women who want to work are often called masculine, by a certain faction. I think that's odd. We don't want to be men. We want to be women who work. Do men who change diapers want to be women? I think that's weird. As always...JMO.

[Ruby Slippers]

16 minutes ago, CaliforniaGirl said:

Oh, perhaps. I've never acted masculine at all (I'm a wear-pink girly girl, my family ribs me about the pink thing) but I do know I've always wanted to not just be a weight around anyone's neck, plus I have always wanted something bigger as a goal than just working to eat and that's it.

What you say about oldschool masculinity rings a bell because women who want to work are often called masculine, by a certain faction. I think that's odd. We don't want to be men. We want to be women who work. Do men who change diapers want to be women? I think that's weird. As always...JMO.

No man I've had a relationship with ever suggested he frowned upon me working - just that if I didn't want to, with him I'd never have to, in that old school chivalrous way. 

I'm also very in touch with my femininity and have no desire to be a ball buster. My boss often emphasizes the leadership focus of my position. We've had some interesting discussions about leadership style, and I've made it clear to him without saying it in so many words that my style is effective but different from the traditional masculine approach. I'm kind and sensitive, but very firm and strong at the same time. I'm fun, relaxed, and intuitive, less rigid and structured, and I always get the job done. He seems to understand the differences and respect them, which is cool.