Kyrak Posted August 28, 2020 Share Posted August 28, 2020 Long story short, I met this guy via online app. He lives now in my country and I am living in his. We met when he came to visit his friends and kissed all night. We have kept in touch for two months mostly sexting as none of us wants anything serious although we never talked about it. He texted me after few days of silence to let me know he is coming again this Sunday and wants to meet up. I accepted and we said to keep in touch. Two days after he texts me again to remind me he is coming and this time set the date for Sunday (although I asked if another day is most suitable since he will just arrive and might be tired he insisted Sunday night). We have not confirmed the time yet but I was the one sending the last message which he read and didn't respond. When I first ask him what his plans were, he said "to meet with you". Now I am confused since he hasn't responded nor confirmed the time and our date is supposedly in two days, I don't feel like reaching out cause I might seem over excited eager or pushy since he said explicitly he wants to meet. Since he texted to let me know he is coming, shouldn't he reach out to confirm the time? Shall I wait for Sunday? I am afraid he will be at the airport all day so I really don't want to pressure him. Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 28, 2020 Share Posted August 28, 2020 Wait until he contacts you. Then confirm plans for when he is there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kyrak Posted August 28, 2020 Author Share Posted August 28, 2020 2 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said: Wait until he contacts you. Then confirm plans for when he is there. Yes seems the most logical ✌ Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 28, 2020 Share Posted August 28, 2020 If you don't have a time. You only sorta kinda of have a date IMO. I would give him a chance to contact you. But if you haven't heard from him by noon on Sunday I would reach out to fix a time You confirm doctor's appointments & business meetings so confirming a date is the same thing 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kyrak Posted August 28, 2020 Author Share Posted August 28, 2020 8 minutes ago, d0nnivain said: If you don't have a time. You only sorta kinda of have a date IMO. I would give him a chance to contact you. But if you haven't heard from him by noon on Sunday I would reach out to fix a time You confirm doctor's appointments & business meetings so confirming a date is the same I believe that he should confirm a time saying hey I arrive at this time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kyrak Posted August 29, 2020 Author Share Posted August 29, 2020 10 hours ago, Kyrak said: Yes seems the most logical ✌ How about on I text him on Saturday night, have a safe flight and see you tomorrow (casual and takes off the pressure of asking). If he responds positively, I would know whether it is still on. Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted August 29, 2020 Share Posted August 29, 2020 l'm not the sort of guy to bs around so hell yeah if you hadn't heard from him by then , l would , you need to know. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kyrak Posted August 29, 2020 Author Share Posted August 29, 2020 1 hour ago, chillii said: l'm not the sort of guy to bs around so hell yeah if you hadn't heard from him by then , l would , you need to know. That is over trying, I myself never confirm dates as well until few hours before, if we have already agreed with someone to make plans, so I wouldn't appreciate someone putting me this extra pressure. Essentially, we are just mirroring each other's behaviour or im reading too much to it cause I like this dude. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 29, 2020 Share Posted August 29, 2020 (edited) I like d0nnivain's suggesting of waiting until noon on Sunday and then getting in touch. I don't like be kept hanging around waiting on someone else so I wouldn't spend my entire Sunday doing so. That wouldn't work for me. Assuming you also have a life outside him, it's not unreasonable to want to know what time to expect him. For all he knows, you have other things to do during the day and would appreciate an idea of when to be ready. If you believe he should be the one to reach out, though, then you will just have to sit tight and wait. Edited August 29, 2020 by ExpatInItaly 1 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wiseman2 Posted August 29, 2020 Share Posted August 29, 2020 3 hours ago, Kyrak said: How about on I text him on Saturday night, have a safe flight and see you tomorrow (casual and takes off the pressure of asking). If he responds positively, I would know whether it is still on. He can't reply in-flight. He said you would get together when he arrives so believe him Link to post Share on other sites
Acacia98 Posted August 29, 2020 Share Posted August 29, 2020 14 hours ago, Kyrak said: Since he texted to let me know he is coming, shouldn't he reach out to confirm the time? Shall I wait for Sunday? I am afraid he will be at the airport all day so I really don't want to pressure him. Personally, I'd seek a confirmation of the time on Saturday morning. I don't have tons of free time, so I can't afford to just leave the whole day open and wait for a last minute confirmation (if any). If it makes me look desperate, so be it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Watercolors Posted August 29, 2020 Share Posted August 29, 2020 I would make other plans with your friends for this Sunday. If he texts you on Sunday to reconfirm getting together, great. If not, then no loss. He wasn't really that serious about meeting you in person. He probably just likes having someone he can sext with via text messages. Plus, you have to remember, you TOLD him that you aren't interested in anything serious. So, why would you be bothered by him not confirming Sunday with you, since you apparently told him, that your not looking for anything real with him anyway. He'll just assume then, that he doesn't really have to prioritize time with you, since you're both just doing this for casual fun anyway. If you are seriously interested in him, don't pretend to be this casual chic who is carefree, since that's not who you really are, if you're posting here, annoyed that he isn't responding to your text messages about confirming Sunday's "date" with you. You could be sending him mixed messages. Just decide. Are you carefree or are you serious about him? Link to post Share on other sites
chillii Posted August 29, 2020 Share Posted August 29, 2020 (edited) 3 hours ago, Kyrak said: That is over trying, I myself never confirm dates as well until few hours before, if we have already agreed with someone to make plans, so I wouldn't appreciate someone putting me this extra pressure. Essentially, we are just mirroring each other's behaviour or im reading too much to it cause I like this dude. No it's not , it's stop fkg me around because l'm not screwing up my Sunday waiting round if your not coming but then why did you want to text him Sat night ?. Edited August 29, 2020 by chillii Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 29, 2020 Share Posted August 29, 2020 4 hours ago, Kyrak said: How about on I text him on Saturday night, have a safe flight and see you tomorrow (casual and takes off the pressure of asking). If he responds positively, I would know whether it is still on. If having a reason to get in touch -- wishing him a safe flight -- gives you more comfort do that. But a positive response without a time doesn't mean you have a date. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kyrak Posted August 29, 2020 Author Share Posted August 29, 2020 1 hour ago, Watercolors said: I would make other plans with your friends for this Sunday. If he texts you on Sunday to reconfirm getting together, great. If not, then no loss. He wasn't really that serious about meeting you in person. He probably just likes having someone he can sext with via text messages. Plus, you have to remember, you TOLD him that you aren't interested in anything serious. So, why would you be bothered by him not confirming Sunday with you, since you apparently told him, that your not looking for anything real with him anyway. He'll just assume then, that he doesn't really have to prioritize time with you, since you're both just doing this for casual fun anyway. If you are seriously interested in him, don't pretend to be this casual chic who is carefree, since that's not who you really are, if you're posting here, annoyed that he isn't responding to your text messages about confirming Sunday's "date" with you. You could be sending him mixed messages. Just decide. Are you carefree or are you serious about him? I don't pretend to be carefree or casual chic. I don't know him to make up my mind for anything serious. I am attracted to him obviously. I posted here because I am not good with dating and I like keeping things casual but no way I am annoyed. I respect people's free will and boundaries especially when it comes to texting, that is the reason I am gathering second opinions. We haven't discussed anything about what we are doing, it is just fun so far, so to be consistent with what I told him, I will go with the flow. I don't want him to be serious about meeting but excited and naturally driven to meet with me not because I texted him or he feels obligated. That would be make it real. Link to post Share on other sites
Watercolors Posted August 29, 2020 Share Posted August 29, 2020 4 minutes ago, Kyrak said: I don't pretend to be carefree or casual chic. I don't know him to make up my mind for anything serious. I am attracted to him obviously. I posted here because I am not good with dating and I like keeping things casual but no way I am annoyed. I respect people's free will and boundaries especially when it comes to texting, that is the reason I am gathering second opinions. We haven't discussed anything about what we are doing, it is just fun so far, so to be consistent with what I told him, I will go with the flow. I don't want him to be serious about meeting but excited and naturally driven to meet with me not because I texted him or he feels obligated. That would be make it real. From your OP, it sounds like you two met online first, then had a fun fling in-person. Did he move to your country now? Or, is he just visiting his friends again in your city, and that's why you two plan to meetup on Sunday? I am confused about the geography in your situation. I would not keep your Sunday free of plans with others. I would make plans with others regardless of whether or not he contacts you today (Saturday). I would go ahead and fill your Sunday up with plans with others. Then, if he reaches out, you can tell him what your schedule availability is, and see if he's interested in meeting you at those times. Otherwise, this sounds like it was a fun fling but that getting together is iffy, because neither of you are really that committed to pursuing anything serious with each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kyrak Posted August 29, 2020 Author Share Posted August 29, 2020 2 minutes ago, Watercolors said: From your OP, it sounds like you two met online first, then had a fun fling in-person. Did he move to your country now? Or, is he just visiting his friends again in your city, and that's why you two plan to meetup on Sunday? I am confused about the geography in your situation. I would not keep your Sunday free of plans with others. I would make plans with others regardless of whether or not he contacts you today (Saturday). I would go ahead and fill your Sunday up with plans with others. Then, if he reaches out, you can tell him what your schedule availability is, and see if he's interested in meeting you at those times. Otherwise, this sounds like it was a fun fling but that getting together is iffy, because neither of you are really that committed to pursuing anything serious with each other. We met on Tinder when he was already here cause his profile appeared on my screen. It is a fun fling and he is coming here only for few days. It is more like a sex date than date cause we broke the ice with the first meeting (we were supposed to have sex but had my period still we met and spend the night together). This time he said he wants to finally do it which I am down for as we were discussing in many texts that when he comes again, we will do it. I never believed that he would make it again but apparently he has some work obligations in the country I am now (which is the country he is from originally) and so he texted me that he is coming and plans to have sex with me. I agreed that I want to as well and suggested we meet Sunday night. This is where my confusion lies. For a date I wouldn't bother but if we are indeed going to have sex, I would need some time to prepare obviously and create a nice atmosphere. Apart from that, I am not hanging in there expecting anything more than a good sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Watercolors Posted August 29, 2020 Share Posted August 29, 2020 Aaaah, now I understand your situation. Thank you for clarifying it for me. Well then. A nice sex date. Ok, then. It really is his responsibility to confirm Sunday with you then. Not your responsibility. He was the one who suggested the sex date, so he is the one who should reconfirm it with you TODAY. If he waits until tomorrow (Sunday), that's just tacky. Like, he is fitting in time with a hooker (which you are not) in between his business meetings. If you don't hear from him today, I would just forget about it and try to find a guy who lives locally you can date and have sex with instead. Much easier geographically! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kyrak Posted August 29, 2020 Author Share Posted August 29, 2020 1 minute ago, Watercolors said: Aaaah, now I understand your situation. Thank you for clarifying it for me. Well then. A nice sex date. Ok, then. It really is his responsibility to confirm Sunday with you then. Not your responsibility. He was the one who suggested the sex date, so he is the one who should reconfirm it with you TODAY. If he waits until tomorrow (Sunday), that's just tacky. Like, he is fitting in time with a hooker (which you are not) in between his business meetings. If you don't hear from him today, I would just forget about it and try to find a guy who lives locally you can date and have sex with instead. Much easier geographically! Thank you, this is what I also think so no need to further analyse this or have any doubt. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Watercolors Posted August 29, 2020 Share Posted August 29, 2020 Just now, Kyrak said: Thank you, this is what I also think so no need to further analyse this or have any doubt. Great! Men. Pfft!! 😉 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kyrak Posted August 29, 2020 Author Share Posted August 29, 2020 You are so right, I am always direct and straightforward so I want just sex and made up my mind, wouldn't make any tacky moves but say to the person date time and place and make it clear this is a sex date. Isn't this how normal adults would arrange these things? Maybe he is kind of young for this as I had plenty of these dates and never wondered is it still on or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Watercolors Posted August 29, 2020 Share Posted August 29, 2020 (edited) He sounds inept, if i'm being honest. And, he sounds like a cad. But I'm quite judgmental (hee hee). I can't stand it when men act the way this guy is acting with you -- being non-committal. I don't put up with that kind of nonsense. If a man leaves you wondering, he is just not worth any emotional investment from you. Prioritize yourself first. You agreed to this sex date. The least he could do is confirm it. How difficult is it to do that?! Edited August 29, 2020 by Watercolors Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted August 29, 2020 Share Posted August 29, 2020 (edited) Sex date or regular date, you still need to know when he's going to be available to see if works with whatever you have going on tomorrow. He might just be way more casual about planning in general. I know a few people like this, who don't really bother to firm anything up until a few hours before they intend to meet. That doesn't really work for me, as I have other things going on and need at least some advance notice to understand if it's do-able. It's common courtesy. As I said before, I'd give it a bit of time but wouldn't just wait around all day tomorrow hoping to hear from either. Since it's very casual and just for sex, I wouldn't worry about seeming pushy either if you contact him tomorrow to see what time he's thinking. Who cares? If he wants sex, he sure won't. Edited August 29, 2020 by ExpatInItaly Link to post Share on other sites
FudgeSwirl Posted August 29, 2020 Share Posted August 29, 2020 If you have another obligation later on Sunday, it wouldn't hurt reaching out asking what time would be good to meet. Link to post Share on other sites
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